I live in Oregon, and I know this is hard for some of you to believe, but I have found it to be mostly civilized here, despite it not being Manhattan. However, inevitably, there are exceptions. The shop signs at Rice remind me of something I’ve seen in rural areas, such as a sign which was obviously manufactured by machine, not scrawled out with magic marker on an old cardboard box.

Found along a country road in front of a modest dwelling, this machine-made sign read, “You burn my flag, I’ll burn your ass”. That sign sticks out in my mind because it was fricken engraved in stone (or whatever real street signs are made of). Another sign, this one in Louisiana on another rural roadway, featured a nice illustration of the Devil himself, and the words read, “Drive Slow. Hell Ain’t Half Full”.

Savage beatings as referenced in the photos above are not so far from having one’s ass burned, despite geographical and cultural differences. However, somehow I doubt the underemployed workers at Rice would really carry out such threats, whereas I wouldn’t put it past the guy in my neck of the woods to burn someone’s ass or worse. Odd that the stereotype I uphold in my cache of prejudices puts the gentle country bumpkin in the wrong and the disgruntled urban tough punk as Mr. Nice Guy.

Disclosure: I was born in New York City and grew up on the east coast, but have spent most of my adulthood in Oregon, a culturally diverse state that lies west of the Mississippi.

*applause*