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There are only two ways this sign can be pronounced: “doe doe,” as in the dodo bird (at best), or “doo doo.” As in, doo doo.

Reminds me of a sign at World of Nuts, an Upper West Side store I used to go to for Tasti-d-Lite and bulk candy after the gym to undo all the calories I’d burned. One of their bargain bins, full of milk chocolate Santas and bells, was labeled “ASS CHOCOLATES.”

Of course, the sticker on a candy bin you can always change — if a customer has the heart to tell you that no one wants to buy ass chocolates.

But a store name and signage? That’s not so easy.

Now, I’m guessing that the proprietors of Do Do aren’t from these parts. But don’t go thinking, “I’m good at English. That wouldn’t happen to me.”

I don’t care if you’re Strunk and White.

You should never go naming your store, your product, your company, even your teddy bear without running it past a few people.

I’m not saying to take a poll of all your friends – then you’ll never have a name.

If I’d asked everyone what they thought of “Talking Shrimp,” I’m sure some would have said “cute,” some would have said, “meh” and suggested I stick with Laura Belgray, Inc. (they might have been right) and some relative would have insisted I change it to “Copy Crustacean” because alliteration is always punchy.

But I did make sure it didn’t mean “poop” before paying a lawyer to register it as a corporation.

Hmm….Looking now at the color of that Do Do sign, maybe the meaning was intentional.

UPDATE: It turns out that “do-do” is a term of endearment in the South and for puppies in France. I haven’t determined whether it’s pronounced “doe doe” or “doo doo,” but in either case that goes to my point: you can’t just assume your cute name will translate in a different region. There’s always a chance it’ll mean something else.

I think now to a neighborhood store of my childhood: the G Spot Deli, on Amsterdam and 86th. They finally woke up one day but were too cheap to replace the sign. So they took out the middle part and remained The                     Deli for years and years.  Not regional, just dumb. But I forgot about it when I wrote this.