Opinions are like _____.

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The NY Post ran this “opinion piece” this week. (I won’t link to it, since I need the web visitors more than Rupert Murdoch does.) I guess opinions are like nipples – everyone’s got ‘em, and some people have the need to share theirs with the world – probably after standing in front of a fan –…

How I rock the morning in under 30 steps

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  Now that Ive blogged 5 days in a row (including this one), making me one of the World’s Top Bloggers, people will want to know the keys to my success and creativity. It’s inevitable. I’m not gonna be shitty about it like Angelina Jolie was on the red carpet when E! asked her what she…

There’s a small window.

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When someone says something and you don’t really hear what they said, because you’re deaf as shit… Or when someone makes a joke you don’t get… …And then you pretend you totally heard it or totally got it, and you laugh along, throwing your head back with appreciation, and say, “Right?” When that happens, there’s a window to…

I want to climb into the Giraffe pen

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Just read on Gawker about a woman who climbed into a zoo’s giraffe pen and got kicked in the face by a giraffe named Wally – plus fined 686 bucks. Why would anyone do that? Her answer: “I love giraffes.” I kind of get it. Not the giraffe love, I’m totally indifferent to giraffes. They’re…

Is there hope for an undisciplined person?

You know how some people are just naturally disciplined? Like, finished college papers before anyone else had started, and then went on to vacuum the house and go to the gym, always get to the restaurant 5 minutes early, have nice nails, change every lightbulb right away instead of flicking the wall switch five times a day…

Can I do this every f*cking day?

OK, I have two things to confess. Jesus, I already hate this post. I hate when bloggers say they’re going to confess something and you get all excited for something juicy, like “I make out with my dog and I don’t just mean first base” or “My real hobby isn’t painting watercolor landscapes, it’s shoplifting Lanvin handbags…

20 Steps To Never Finding Your Passion

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  Do you suffer from FYPPS? Ever since I stepped into this online business world in 2009, I’ve noticed a pattern I found sad. I call it the “Find Your Passion Pyramid Scheme.” Or, FYPPS, pronounced “fips.” No one’s designed it as a scheme. There’s no Bernie Madoff behind it. What makes it run? Human…

An overdue letter from camp

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Here’s a picture of me and my sister on camp visiting day, around 1980. We’re sitting in the camp’s Quaker meeting circle. Don’t laugh at my sister’s shorts. Camel toe was very “in” back then. (Soon to enjoy a renaissance in Williamsburg, no doubt.) My cuffed jeans, you can laugh at. I’m thinking about camp…

When we’re angry, we say how we’re feeling.

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That’s my dad in the 1970s. He’d been an engineer for Eastern Airlines, with perks like free flights around the world in First Class. He gave it up to become a psychotherapist, with perks like hearing peoples’ feelings. Yes, to him, that was a perk. Dad loves feelings. When my sister and I were angry…

How a big hole can get you more attention.

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  The Diddler is back.  No, The Diddler is not a Batman villain.  It’s our nickname for the guy who plants himself outside our window a couple of times a day to have a smoke and jerk his fly up and down. Once or twice, I’m pretty sure he’s actually whipped out his thang and…

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