An Embarrassing Story About Marie Forleo

crunch pic

Back in 2003, there was this annoying chick who always stood in the front of my hip hop class at Crunch. To be clear, by “my hip hop class” I mean one that I went to every week, not one that I taught…or owned. And by “annoying chick” I mean she had an impossibly great…

Don’t wake me. (Or, why I got fired.)

My 1990s work wear.

If it’s 8am, I’m still sleeping. Go away. 9am? Still sleeping. Maybe even at 10. I’m not proud that I sleep so late, but I’m proud that I can. I’ve built a successful business that lets me be the Queen of Snooze that I am. (So can you. More on that down the page.) Fun…

Never been on the internet? Meet your friend.

Screenshot everyoneon

  Lately, I keep seeing commercials that show someone in front of a computer and say, in onscreen text graphics, “This is Alex. She’s never been on the internet.” If you haven’t seen these, you’ve probably already guessed the joke: “Alex” is a Kimodo dragon. Kidding. Alex is not a Kimodo dragon. Nor is she:…

13 Weird Food Behaviors of Fat-Prone People

Don’t look at me… This isn’t about me. I’m never weird about food.  I eat for fuel, period!  I definitely do not mark my calendar when I’m feeling fat so that I can check back next time I feel fat and see whether it has something to do with the time of the month. These…

They’re watching.

TEDDY CAM

I’m not normally paranoid. I don’t think everyone’s talking about me. I don’t think everyone’s out to get me, or to steal my identity — even though it turns out they actually are. But, in specific areas of my life, I do think someone’s watching me. There are two occasions where I’m certain I’m being…

A thank you note to the a-hole who stole my identity.

readyformore

Dear A-hole Who Stole My Identity, Thanks a lot! Yes, I’m being sarcastic. And I continue to be when I say that I hope you’ve enjoyed your shopping sprees at Sears, Kohls, BestBuy, Pier One, JC Penney, and whatever stupid big box store was next to issue you a line of credit in my name. I’m…

Am I letting myself go?

raccoon

  I was out on the street this morning, doing the daily 3-block walk I try to make myself do if it’s over 30 degrees out. Really 6 blocks, to Citarella, my 3-block landmark,  and back. Sometimes I stop into Citarella even if I don’t need anything, because in the winter I need a reward…

How to use facebook like my 81-year-old dad

dad thumbs up

It’s my dad’s 81st birthday. I’m sure he’ll get some Happy Birthday posts on his Facebook timeline. But if I told him to check his timeline, the conversation would go like this: DAD: “Lime line?” ME:  ”Timeline.” DAD: “Rhyme line?” ME:   “TIME line. Check your time line.” DAD:  ”No need. I don’t have any…

Doggy nails to bacon: everything that’s wrong with our apartment

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  I’m in love with our new apartment. I’m not allowed to post photos, because, Steven reminds me, it’s show-offy. I guess it’s show-offy to even reveal the reason he said not to. If I’d just said, “Steven won’t let me post pictures,” and left it at that, it could mean we live in a…

Time for camp! (with pics)

rope swing 2

[NOTE: This is a copy of an email I sent to my list. If you're not on the list, you should subscribe at the bottom.] Hey there – I was just thinking about you. What I was thinking is, if you’re reading this (oh, you are) and you haven’t signed up for Marie Forleo’s B-School, then…

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