random personal

The time I actually took advice

what would you do

I have sleep problems. For a week straight, at least once a month, I’ll keep waking up at 2, try till around 3 to get back to sleep, then give up, eat cereal, browse Facebook to look at posts I already saw 4 hours ago — “Michael just checked in at The Spotted Pig” post, please… keep reading…

random personal / rants

Hell Is Other People

kill me

  Whoever said that was so right. Someone obvious, I’m forgetting. I don’t feel like looking it up, because I’d rather tell you about two little versions of hell I experience every day. I know “hell” is supposed to be capitalized, but that seems religious and weird to me. 1) Holding-the-elevator hell Our apartment is on the… keep reading…

New York City / wayback

Wayback Wednesday: Puffies, Porn ‘Stache, and Pacman


Where do city kids hang out now? Since they’re all under strict parent and nanny supervision, I guess at home, or those Kumon homework help places, or maybe some franchised indoor bouncy castle center where they jump around while parents sit in a viewing skybox, critiquing their kids’ bounce form and sipping kale smoothies. They don’t have what… keep reading…

business / entrepre-nerd-ville

What are you “worth”?


I see a lot of blogs and Facebook conversations about “earning the income you deserve” and  “charging what you’re worth.” Someone on FB will say, “I raised my prices and one of my clients said I was too expensive for her. I’m heartbroken.” And then someone else comments, “Oh honey GURL, drop that customer like a… keep reading…

pop culture / random personal

Why the newspaper makes me feel bad.

copywriting with personality

  Reading the paper gives me the empty feeling. I think that’s pretty common, but most people I know get upset when they’re reading it because they come away feeling like the world’s going to shit. Or to hell in a hand basket. It’s always one of those two things. For them, it’s the beheadings, the fracking, the… keep reading…


One simple trick to make anyone feel like an asshole

feet stairs

Here’s an easy trick for making someone feel like an asshole. When they hold the door open for you, don’t put your hand up to catch it. Instead, walk right into it with your arms dangling uselessly at your sides and then huff, “Thanks!” They’ll feel terrible for letting the door slam on you, and… keep reading…

random personal / work

How do you people do this?

Laura Belgray, Talking Shrimp

I wrote this post last night because today, I’m working with a team from 10-6. It’s for a project I’m really excited about (The Copy Cure, coming Spring 2015!) but I’m not excited about working 10-6. I get anxiety the night before. How will I get up early enough to have the morning I want, which… keep reading…


Wayback Wednesday: Tales of a 5th Grade User

wheres the porn

When I was a kid, I was such a user. That’s off-brand for a Scorpio. We’re supposed to be all-or-nothing, I like you or I don’t like you. With Annie Lewis and Karen Poterman, classmates in middle school, I was more, you bug me but you have something cool at your house, so let’s hang…. keep reading…

entrepre-nerd-ville / rants

The real secret to a million-dollar company

1-mil motel

Back in like, 1999, I kept getting calls from a collection agency for a mobile phone bill I’d already paid. Yes, I’d paid it late — to a previous collection agency, which, because collection agencies are just knuckleheads earning dollars from home in their dirty undies, had neglected to do the proper paperwork and log my payment…. keep reading…

random personal

What If I Went Out Naked (And Other Horrors)

black forest cake

We all think about weird things that we don’t have to think about, right? At a dinner party the other night, my friend revealed that she thinks constantly about where she’d choose to be, if there were a choice, in a human centipede: front, middle, or back. In case you don’t know, there’s a movie called Human… keep reading…