I love fat. If no one’s looking, I will eat a pat of butter. Maybe I’ll stick a breadcrumb on it so I can call it “bread and butter” and not just “butter”. It does something to your self respect when you snack on straight butter. But for some reason, liver-flavored butter is a different…
What’s your passion? Is it a passion for passion? Do you make money from that passion?
Here are a few of the spots I wrote for the launch of Conan’s new show on TBS. They’re part of the “Missing You” campaign, by Stun Creative. Stun had the concept – people missing Conan, with the John Waite song – and asked me to come up with several scenarios. What do you think?
I went to the Giants game on Sunday. I’ve never been to a football game before this one, except the rinky dink ones in college, and I don’t really understand football. I kind of get what’s going on when they show it on the TV show Friday Night Lights, because the commentary is so explicit….
It’s Thursday, 10pm. I set myself up in my favorite position: cross-legged on the floor, with my back against the sofa and takeout in front of me on newspaper. It’s game time. The Real Housewives of New York Reunion show, Part I.
There’s this twitter user you’ve probably heard of called “Shit My Dad Says.” He tweets shit his dad says, and his feed is being turned into a network tv show starring William Shatner. Except it won’t be called “Shit My Dad Says.” I don’t think they know what they’ll call it, because they can’t say…
Hey, I’m back. Why haven’t I posted in the last month? Well, I had a metric shit-ton of work. And allergies. They’re really bad this year, seriously – I want to scratch my eyes with a fork.
What would you think of someone who, for your birthday, gave you a picture of herself? You’d LOVE it, right? That’s what I thought. Well, as a belated 40th birthday gift, I’m giving Sesame Street something even better than a photo of me: a video of me. On Sesame Street. I was in the show…
Action Park was a water park in New Jersey that deservedly earned the nickname “Accident Park” or, alternately, “Class Action Park.” Having gone there once a summer to slide head-first down their uninspected concrete water slides, with some fat kid crashing into us from behind every time, it’s a miracle my sister and I are…
Oh, man. Can you believe this got on Ellen? She sounds like me (bad enough) doing karaoke while being waterboarded. For those of you not familiar with Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim Zolziak is the one with the wig business and the married boyfriend she calls “Big Poppa.” Big Poppa, if you couldn’t guess from…
