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	<title>Talking Shrimp</title>
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	<link>http://talkingshrimp.com</link>
	<description>Professional Copywriting Services</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Fri, 27 Aug 2010 15:37:27 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Chopsticks suck. (Or, why Don Draper and I should hang out.)</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/27/chopsticks-suck/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/27/chopsticks-suck/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Aug 2010 09:29:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mad Men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chopsticks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=2183</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Last Sunday&#8217;s Mad Men (best episode ever, maybe) had a scene in Benihana, where Don Draper notices his date using chopsticks and asks, with a raised eyebrow, &#8220;you know how to use those?&#8221;
What? Suave Don Draper can&#8217;t use chopsticks? He&#8217;s not easy to impress, so you know using chopsticks then must have been a sign [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/27/chopsticks-suck/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>16</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Butch baby</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/11/butch-baby/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/11/butch-baby/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:42:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[celebrities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fashion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gender]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memories]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=2128</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
 Shiloh Jolie Pitt is stealing my look.
It&#8217;s true. Normally, we average people latch on to celebrity styles. But this &#8220;celeb tot,&#8221; as the magazines call them, is clearly following mine.
Shiloh is Brad and Angelina&#8217;s daughter, but, like I did at that age, she looks more like a son.

Poor kid gets so much shit from [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/11/butch-baby/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>13</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Happiness is a cup of hot nuts.</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/03/happiness-is-a-cup-of-hot-nuts/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/03/happiness-is-a-cup-of-hot-nuts/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Aug 2010 16:20:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[embarrassment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[envy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[free food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[my dad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sweating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[upgrades]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=2074</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
People say that money can&#8217;t buy you happiness. And Countess Luanne insists that money can&#8217;t buy you class.
But they&#8217;re both wrong (and dumb)  &#8211; because money can buy you Business Class. To me, that&#8217;s the peak of happiness, and one day I pray I&#8217;ll have enough money to buy it whenever I want.
I know I&#8217;m [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/08/03/happiness-is-a-cup-of-hot-nuts/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>26</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Confessions of a Sweaty Betty</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/07/28/confessions-of-a-sweaty-betty/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/07/28/confessions-of-a-sweaty-betty/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:11:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[embarrassment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ickiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sweating]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=2083</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I am a sweater.
Not the cozy, knit kind that you wear on chilly days. No, I mean I sweat. Majorly. I&#8217;m a schvitzer.
A sweaty betty.
I marvel at people who don&#8217;t perspire. My husband is one of them.  Even when he works out, he only gets slightly moist, and can put his gym clothes right into [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/07/28/confessions-of-a-sweaty-betty/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>22</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>When high fives turn deadly.</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/25/when-high-fives-turn-deadly/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/25/when-high-fives-turn-deadly/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Jun 2010 17:49:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[coordination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dancing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[embarrassment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[high fives]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=2055</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
In hip hop class at Crunch the other day, I was rockin&#8217; it out. I&#8217;d picked up the routine and was adding some sassy flair. I was &#8220;making it mine.&#8221;  The teacher, Ray, noticed. She yelled, &#8220;Yeah, Laura! Work it, girl!&#8221;
Then, on her way past me to adjust the stereo, she raised her hand for [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/25/when-high-fives-turn-deadly/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>30</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Real nosy bitches watch Real Housewives.</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/15/real-nosy-bitches-watch-real-housewives/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/15/real-nosy-bitches-watch-real-housewives/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Jun 2010 21:42:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Real Housewives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad habits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gossiping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nosiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reality TV]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=2021</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
It&#8217;s Thursday, 10pm. I set myself up in my favorite position: cross-legged on the floor, with my back against the sofa and takeout in front of me on newspaper. It&#8217;s game time. The Real Housewives of New York Reunion show, Part I.
I don&#8217;t normally watch TV in real time, but for this event, I make [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/15/real-nosy-bitches-watch-real-housewives/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>19</slash:comments>
<enclosure url="http://talkingshrimp.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/01-Money-Cant-Buy-You-Class2.mp3" length="4545374" type="audio/mpeg" />
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		<item>
		<title>The fat jeans stay: tales of a closet case</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/01/the-fat-jeans-stay-tales-of-a-closet-case/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/01/the-fat-jeans-stay-tales-of-a-closet-case/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Jun 2010 21:44:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[fashion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hoarding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shopping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuff 'n' junk report]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=1995</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
When people clean out their closets, they&#8217;re always so exuberant about the results. &#8220;Got rid of soooo much stuff. What a great feeling!&#8221;
I don&#8217;t have that experience.
I tried to clean my closets the other day, and all I had to show for it in the end were about 5 new free hangers.
I know the rule: [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/06/01/the-fat-jeans-stay-tales-of-a-closet-case/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>29</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hide your dancing penis umbrella.</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/18/hide-your-dancing-penis-umbrella/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/18/hide-your-dancing-penis-umbrella/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 May 2010 21:29:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[personal taste]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuff 'n' junk report]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[steven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuff 'n' junk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[umbrellas]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=1979</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I have an Umbrella Center in my front hall closet. It sounds impressive, but it&#8217;s actually a tote bag suspended from a coat hanger. At any rate, it used to be full of umbrellas. Nice ones. Today, on my way out into the pouring rain, I reached into the Umbrella Center, and came up empty. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/18/hide-your-dancing-penis-umbrella/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>22</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Stuff &#8216;n&#8217; Junk Report: Watermelon (Or, why I&#8217;m a watermelon asshole*)</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/14/stuff-n-junk-report-watermelon/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/14/stuff-n-junk-report-watermelon/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 May 2010 16:57:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hoarding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stores]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuff 'n' junk report]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflicts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuff 'n' junk]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=1895</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
(*Subtitle inspired by Naomi Dunford. See comment at bottom.)
Another Stuff &#8216;n&#8217; Junk Report &#8211; where I pick any random item of mine, new or old, and tell you something about it. It&#8217;s inventory, with detailed back story. Like show and tell, but more tell than show.
Today, an old item: 
Watermelon, cut into cubes.
When I say [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/14/stuff-n-junk-report-watermelon/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>30</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Shit. I said a bad word.</title>
		<link>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/05/shit/</link>
		<comments>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/05/shit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 May 2010 20:16:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Laura Belgray</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cursing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[my dad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childhood]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://talkingshrimp.com/?p=1826</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
There&#8217;s this twitter user you&#8217;ve probably heard of called &#8220;Shit My Dad Says.&#8221; He tweets shit his dad says, and his feed is being turned into a network tv show starring William Shatner.
Except it won&#8217;t be called &#8220;Shit My Dad Says.&#8221; I don&#8217;t think they know what they&#8217;ll call it, because they can&#8217;t say &#8220;shit&#8221; [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://talkingshrimp.com/2010/05/05/shit/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>49</slash:comments>
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