11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide

Has your internet been down?

Oh, I thought it might be because you didn’t say anything about my last blog post.

See what I did there? That was passive aggressive. It was my way of saying, “Did you read my last blog post? If you did, tell me you liked it. And if you haven’t read it, please do. And then tell me you liked it.”

Passive Aggressive is a very handy language. It allows you to get what you want, or express your feelings, without being disliked or rejected. Well, actually, you might be disliked or rejected because people are on to you and how annoying you are, so it doesn’t really work. But here are some other examples of how you can use it:

Want to say, “I don’t like you and never will”? That will never fly. Instead, try mispronouncing the person’s name again and again, no matter how many times they correct you. If it’s Goldstein, pronounced “gold-stine,” always pronounce it “gold-steen.” Or, even more effective: try calling them by the wrong name altogether, and turning them into an ape. Endora, Samantha’s mother on Bewitched, perfected this technique.

Want to say “I’m attracted to you and I’d like a date with you”? Don’t. What if they say “no”?  Instead, try breaking into their house and pooping on their bed. It will send the person a mixed message, so they can’t accuse you of having the hots for them.

As you can see, passive aggressive comes in many flavors. To make it easy, I’ve broken them down into subcategories, along with examples.

Here’s my handy guide to 11 main styles of Passive Aggressive, along with essential phrases (translated into English).

So you can become more fluent, or understand someone else who is.

The perfect, passive-agressive prezzie!

This is a great, passive-aggressive gift for the passive-aggressively special someone in your life. Instead of saying, “You’re passive aggressive,” you can hand them this guide and say, “I paid TEN DOLLARS for this and printed it out for you because it was so funny and made me think of you! Some of these are right out of your mouth!”

Want to learn to speak Passive Aggressive? Want the only accurate Passive Aggressive guide in existence?

My pocket guide will give you the key passive-aggressive examples you need to get around in the non-confrontational universe.  Download it now.

Or don’t, whatever you want to do, I’m fine with.

That was passive aggressive.

CLICK THE GIANT “GET IT NOW” BUTTON TO INSTANTLY GET YOUR PASSIVE AGRESSIVE POCKET GUIDE. (It’s ten freaking dollars.)

166 Responses to 11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide
  1. Edmundo Braverman
    January 25, 2011 | 3:20 pm

    Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:31 pm

      Hmm. I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might have to say yes. Women care more about being “nice”.

      • Rich
        September 2, 2011 | 5:40 am

        I have to say that us Brits are all mostly very passive aggressive. We’d rather be polite than obnoxious. I live in the USA now and I see many Americans as active aggressive. While it’s very direct to be this way it can be very annoying to have someone in-your-face about everything they do not like. How about just keeping it to yourself?

        I say if you can’t say something positive don’t say anything at all. But I’m a Brit. What do I know.

        Thx for an interesting post.

        • cheryl
          November 1, 2012 | 7:26 pm

          I am an American living in the UK with a passive agressive husband. Although I find this site funny and interesting, there is a serious side to it all. Due to my husbands PA nature, I am leaving him and going back home where the agressive people are easier to read as they are in your face. You Brits lay down, take it and carry on….No chance

          • Rich
            November 1, 2012 | 8:17 pm

            cheryl

            I’m curious, are you leaving your husband because he’s PA or just because you don’t want to be with him period?

            Oddly enough I have just left my American wife but not because she’s PA (because she can be at times).

            A question if I may. My sister, who also lives over here in the US, is criticized for being PA. Yet when she is AA (active aggressive) people thinks she’s being obnoxious. I have the exact same experience. I guess us Limeys have to learn how to be AA in a way that is acceptable over here?

            Teach me please?

            BTW I think we all have a little PA in us at times.

            Have fun

            • Sharon
              January 5, 2013 | 3:17 pm

              Rich.
              Being AA in the US is pretty easy. Just preface it by saying “I’m going to be bluntly honest…” then say the thing. Eventually the people around you know to expect things like that to come out of your mouth.
              Just a suggestion. Good luck!
              :]

  2. Anonymous
    January 25, 2011 | 3:20 pm

    Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:31 pm

      Hmm. I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might have to say yes. Women care more about being “nice”.

  3. Emily
    January 25, 2011 | 3:36 pm

    NICE. Sadly, almost every type of passive aggressive statement listed was expressed by my former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder!

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:32 pm

      What, you didn’t want to stay friends with her? She sounds great!

  4. Emily
    January 25, 2011 | 3:36 pm

    NICE. Sadly, almost every type of passive aggressive statement listed was expressed by my former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder!

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:32 pm

      What, you didn’t want to stay friends with her? She sounds great!

  5. Jess Webb
    January 25, 2011 | 4:14 pm

    LOL – well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as I’ve certainly heard most of those. Sadly, I’ve even uttered some myself on occasion. :/

    Thanks for the chuckle! ;)

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:33 pm

      Thanks, Jess. Yes, I’ll admit, some of those came right from my own mouth.

  6. Jess Webb
    January 25, 2011 | 4:14 pm

    LOL – well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as I’ve certainly heard most of those. Sadly, I’ve even uttered some myself on occasion. :/

    Thanks for the chuckle! ;)

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:33 pm

      Thanks, Jess. Yes, I’ll admit, some of those came right from my own mouth.

  7. Alejandro Sánchez M.
    January 25, 2011 | 4:43 pm

    Living with a person who masters Passive Aggressive must be like living at the Acid House… :-)

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:34 pm

      What? I’m not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of saying, “go google ‘Acid House’”?

  8. Alejandro Sánchez M.
    January 25, 2011 | 4:43 pm

    Living with a person who masters Passive Aggressive must be like living at the Acid House… :-)

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:34 pm

      What? I’m not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of saying, “go google ‘Acid House’”?

      • Sylena
        January 3, 2013 | 5:00 am

        well they got me to google it

        • Dakota Lovett
          January 3, 2014 | 11:03 am

          I googled it too and tons of interesting stuff appeared lol

  9. Sandra
    January 25, 2011 | 5:05 pm

    Wow, it’s so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have sworn you had this really big deadline…

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:34 pm

      Oh snap, that’s a good one. You are fluent.

  10. Sandra
    January 25, 2011 | 5:05 pm

    Wow, it’s so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have sworn you had this really big deadline…

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:34 pm

      Oh snap, that’s a good one. You are fluent.

  11. Theresa
    January 25, 2011 | 5:14 pm

    Hilarious! Love it Laura :)

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:51 pm

      Thanks, Theresa.

  12. Theresa
    January 25, 2011 | 5:14 pm

    Hilarious! Love it Laura :)

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:51 pm

      Thanks, Theresa.

  13. Julie Millett
    January 25, 2011 | 5:16 pm

    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. A spot-on indictment (oh, I’m sorry – is it indicktment?) that rings so true it was actually almost painful to read. I have been a party to just about each of the 11 types – I think I’ve heard more than I’ve said. I obviously need to step it up.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:36 pm

      You do need to step up to the plate. Don’t let anyone beat you at being passive aggressive.

  14. Julie Millett
    January 25, 2011 | 5:16 pm

    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. A spot-on indictment (oh, I’m sorry – is it indicktment?) that rings so true it was actually almost painful to read. I have been a party to just about each of the 11 types – I think I’ve heard more than I’ve said. I obviously need to step it up.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:36 pm

      You do need to step up to the plate. Don’t let anyone beat you at being passive aggressive.

  15. Ann
    January 25, 2011 | 5:43 pm

    Um I don’t really have anything left to say. Really.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:38 pm

      Hey, I’m not trying to take anything away for you. This was meant to be encouraging.

  16. Ann
    January 25, 2011 | 5:43 pm

    Um I don’t really have anything left to say. Really.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:38 pm

      Hey, I’m not trying to take anything away for you. This was meant to be encouraging.

  17. Amanda
    January 25, 2011 | 6:13 pm

    I’m so glad you posted a blog today. I was going to email you and ask if you forgot that you are supposed to amuse me on a semi-daily basis. But, seriously, I was having withdrawal.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:40 pm

      I must have forgotten, because I don’t think I’ve ever reached the semi-daily level of output. I’ll have to pick up the pace – don’t want you to get the shakes.

  18. Amanda
    January 25, 2011 | 6:13 pm

    I’m so glad you posted a blog today. I was going to email you and ask if you forgot that you are supposed to amuse me on a semi-daily basis. But, seriously, I was having withdrawal.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:40 pm

      I must have forgotten, because I don’t think I’ve ever reached the semi-daily level of output. I’ll have to pick up the pace – don’t want you to get the shakes.

  19. Nicole
    January 25, 2011 | 7:13 pm

    There’s also the passive aggressive note-leaving or text-sending (esp with roommates), so as to not deal with people in real life ever.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:42 pm

      Yes, I’d say technology has made it way easier to be passive aggressive, but maybe the invention of the post-it, long before mobile phones, was the true turning point.

  20. Nicole
    January 25, 2011 | 7:13 pm

    There’s also the passive aggressive note-leaving or text-sending (esp with roommates), so as to not deal with people in real life ever.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:42 pm

      Yes, I’d say technology has made it way easier to be passive aggressive, but maybe the invention of the post-it, long before mobile phones, was the true turning point.

  21. Michelle Vargas
    January 25, 2011 | 7:36 pm

    I love this too much. Posted to my blog. People are loving it too much over there as well! http://www.fartwithheadphoneson.com/post/2925785472

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:43 pm

      Wow, that’s awesome. You made me a little bit viral! (Can you be just a little bit viral?) Thank you so much.

  22. Michelle Vargas
    January 25, 2011 | 7:36 pm

    I love this too much. Posted to my blog. People are loving it too much over there as well! http://www.fartwithheadphoneson.com/post/2925785472

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:43 pm

      Wow, that’s awesome. You made me a little bit viral! (Can you be just a little bit viral?) Thank you so much.

  23. kate
    January 25, 2011 | 8:08 pm

    Great list! i have heard most of these and maybe said a couple (with out meaning to be PA, actually!) One more to add:

    During the holidays i used to get this from a family member:
    “you know, I was thinking, this is a really stressful time of year so i just wanted you to know that it’s no problem if you can’t make our get-together, you do whats best for your family, we can always get together after the holidays instead.”
    this is basically code for: “i want to cancel but don’t want to be the ass that cancels a holiday gathering.”

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:44 pm

      Oh yeah. “Totally understand if you have to bail out” is a clear “Can we please bag this?” I’ve used it many times myself.

  24. kate
    January 25, 2011 | 8:08 pm

    Great list! i have heard most of these and maybe said a couple (with out meaning to be PA, actually!) One more to add:

    During the holidays i used to get this from a family member:
    “you know, I was thinking, this is a really stressful time of year so i just wanted you to know that it’s no problem if you can’t make our get-together, you do whats best for your family, we can always get together after the holidays instead.”
    this is basically code for: “i want to cancel but don’t want to be the ass that cancels a holiday gathering.”

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:44 pm

      Oh yeah. “Totally understand if you have to bail out” is a clear “Can we please bag this?” I’ve used it many times myself.

  25. Nancy B
    January 25, 2011 | 8:14 pm

    Congrats, Laura. You just cracked the linguistic code of all of the female members of my mother’s side of the family. My grandmother was the Queen of Passive Imposing: “Oh, I’m so thirsty.” (Would you get me some water?) and my mother’s awesome at Passive Resentful “Oh, you’re having your wedding in New Jersey instead of Ohio? How modern.” (Nice girls have their weddings in their home states.) I’m pretty sure I’ve inherited that gene, too, based on how many times my husband has called me out on it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to treatment, no?

    #5: Passive Irritated/Passive Disgusted (strangers) is an alive and well and practiced in many elementary classrooms across the country, unfortunately.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:47 pm

      How modern! That’s excellent. My friend’s mother-in-law-to-be, when she didn’t like my friend’s wedding decisions, would shrug, “Well, it’s *your* wedding!”

  26. Nancy B
    January 25, 2011 | 8:14 pm

    Congrats, Laura. You just cracked the linguistic code of all of the female members of my mother’s side of the family. My grandmother was the Queen of Passive Imposing: “Oh, I’m so thirsty.” (Would you get me some water?) and my mother’s awesome at Passive Resentful “Oh, you’re having your wedding in New Jersey instead of Ohio? How modern.” (Nice girls have their weddings in their home states.) I’m pretty sure I’ve inherited that gene, too, based on how many times my husband has called me out on it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to treatment, no?

    #5: Passive Irritated/Passive Disgusted (strangers) is an alive and well and practiced in many elementary classrooms across the country, unfortunately.

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:47 pm

      How modern! That’s excellent. My friend’s mother-in-law-to-be, when she didn’t like my friend’s wedding decisions, would shrug, “Well, it’s *your* wedding!”

  27. Barb
    January 25, 2011 | 10:30 pm

    Greata list….how about…”Would you mind moving from your back onto your side honey? meaning really: your snoring is driving me f*cking insane!

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:48 pm

      I just combine the two.

  28. Barb
    January 25, 2011 | 10:30 pm

    Greata list….how about…”Would you mind moving from your back onto your side honey? meaning really: your snoring is driving me f*cking insane!

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:48 pm

      I just combine the two.

  29. Heather Pierce
    January 25, 2011 | 10:51 pm

    This probably falls into #7 but ending questions with “or…..” instead of just saying what you want drives me nuts! Like when my former manager used to say:

    “Are you going to finish that spreadsheet tonight orrrrrrrrrrr…..”

    Instead of “I really need that spreadsheet tonight.”

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:50 pm

      Which is in the same category with the very popular “so….” As in, “I was actually in line before you. So….”

  30. Heather Pierce
    January 25, 2011 | 10:51 pm

    This probably falls into #7 but ending questions with “or…..” instead of just saying what you want drives me nuts! Like when my former manager used to say:

    “Are you going to finish that spreadsheet tonight orrrrrrrrrrr…..”

    Instead of “I really need that spreadsheet tonight.”

    • LBelgray
      January 25, 2011 | 11:50 pm

      Which is in the same category with the very popular “so….” As in, “I was actually in line before you. So….”

  31. LBelgray
    January 25, 2011 | 11:35 pm

    Thanks, Theresa.

  32. LBelgray
    January 25, 2011 | 11:35 pm

    Thanks, Theresa.

  33. Alice B
    January 25, 2011 | 11:59 pm

    Love it! It’s such a relief to know that I don’t engage in any of that stuff. I don’t, do I?

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:29 am

      Haha. Goodness, no.

  34. Alice B
    January 25, 2011 | 11:59 pm

    Love it! It’s such a relief to know that I don’t engage in any of that stuff. I don’t, do I?

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:29 am

      Haha. Goodness, no.

  35. Catherine Caine
    January 26, 2011 | 1:21 am

    ARGH.

    Some of these, to my shame, were me. Still are me when I’m tired or cranky.

    I have one addition:

    Passive Over-explanation: Where you insert a thousand questionably-relevant details in to show how much the other person’s neglect has WOUNDED you.

    Phrase: “I mean it’s not big deal or anything but I had to take the later 175 bus instead of the 170 and because the 175 isn’t an express it look like an extra 17 minutes and so I had to sit next to this guy that smelled like butt and we got delayed an extra three minutes at that set of lights in the city, but it’s not a big deal or anything…”

    I would love to say this is not an example from personal experience.

    Alas.

    I’m SUCH a bad person.

    (Two for one!)

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:30 am

      “It’s SO not a big deal. But just letting you know.”

      • Catherine Caine
        January 26, 2011 | 8:41 pm

        “Yes, I though it was important that you know exactly how big a butthead you are.”

  36. Catherine Caine
    January 26, 2011 | 1:21 am

    ARGH.

    Some of these, to my shame, were me. Still are me when I’m tired or cranky.

    I have one addition:

    Passive Over-explanation: Where you insert a thousand questionably-relevant details in to show how much the other person’s neglect has WOUNDED you.

    Phrase: “I mean it’s not big deal or anything but I had to take the later 175 bus instead of the 170 and because the 175 isn’t an express it look like an extra 17 minutes and so I had to sit next to this guy that smelled like butt and we got delayed an extra three minutes at that set of lights in the city, but it’s not a big deal or anything…”

    I would love to say this is not an example from personal experience.

    Alas.

    I’m SUCH a bad person.

    (Two for one!)

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:30 am

      “It’s SO not a big deal. But just letting you know.”

      • Catherine Caine
        January 26, 2011 | 8:41 pm

        “Yes, I though it was important that you know exactly how big a butthead you are.”

  37. Bridget Pilloud
    January 26, 2011 | 1:22 am

    I live with a guy who does 7 and 9. “Are you done with this wrapper that you left on the counter? Or were you going to use it for something?”

    “Are you sure you meant catapult and not trebuchet?”

    Bah!

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:32 am

      I’m guilty of 9. I correct under my breath, and out loud with faux confusion.

  38. Bridget Pilloud
    January 26, 2011 | 1:22 am

    I live with a guy who does 7 and 9. “Are you done with this wrapper that you left on the counter? Or were you going to use it for something?”

    “Are you sure you meant catapult and not trebuchet?”

    Bah!

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:32 am

      I’m guilty of 9. I correct under my breath, and out loud with faux confusion.

  39. Jenn
    January 26, 2011 | 3:20 am

    Be aware of the following… I’ve fallen for it a few times… The Passive Aggressive TRAP: “Have anything special planned this weekend?” If I say no, I am left undefended for my Mother-in-law to say, “Well then! You wouldn’t mind if I bring over great Aunt Whatshername to see your new house!” or if I say yes, “Oh! What are you doing? With who? What time? So you are booked Saturday, what about Sunday?” By the way, hilarious post!

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:34 am

      I think that’s just plain aggressive. No wait, maybe the non-passive way would be to say, “I’m bringing Great Aunt SoAndSo to your house this weekend. Let me know what time is good. Because it’s happening.”

  40. Jenn
    January 26, 2011 | 3:20 am

    Be aware of the following… I’ve fallen for it a few times… The Passive Aggressive TRAP: “Have anything special planned this weekend?” If I say no, I am left undefended for my Mother-in-law to say, “Well then! You wouldn’t mind if I bring over great Aunt Whatshername to see your new house!” or if I say yes, “Oh! What are you doing? With who? What time? So you are booked Saturday, what about Sunday?” By the way, hilarious post!

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:34 am

      I think that’s just plain aggressive. No wait, maybe the non-passive way would be to say, “I’m bringing Great Aunt SoAndSo to your house this weekend. Let me know what time is good. Because it’s happening.”

  41. Marian Schembari
    January 26, 2011 | 9:24 am

    I’m obsessed with this.

    That last one is my favorite by far. I get SO FUCKING SICK of people who leave really ambiguous Facebook status updates. I have a good friend that does this and it makes me deliberately not ask what’s happened.

    Grrrr. But also hilarious. I love you.

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:35 am

      So annoying. Facebook is a great place to be passive-bragadocious, too. I’ve seen updates like, “Why are so many guys hitting on me today? LOL”

  42. Marian Schembari
    January 26, 2011 | 9:24 am

    I’m obsessed with this.

    That last one is my favorite by far. I get SO FUCKING SICK of people who leave really ambiguous Facebook status updates. I have a good friend that does this and it makes me deliberately not ask what’s happened.

    Grrrr. But also hilarious. I love you.

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 9:35 am

      So annoying. Facebook is a great place to be passive-bragadocious, too. I’ve seen updates like, “Why are so many guys hitting on me today? LOL”

  43. Nathalie Lussier
    January 26, 2011 | 2:56 pm

    Ooh I really like the “Excuse me, you dropped something” aka “I just picked up your litter”… I’ve done that a few times, but I found that it’s much more effective to just pick it up and put it in the trash as if it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe the missing one is the “silent passive aggressive” where the look in your eyes says it all? That can be the most dangerous of all, I’d think! ;)

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 7:30 pm

      Yes, it’s all about perfecting the look that says “How disappointing. Thanks to you, I’ve lost faith in humankind.”

  44. Nathalie Lussier
    January 26, 2011 | 2:56 pm

    Ooh I really like the “Excuse me, you dropped something” aka “I just picked up your litter”… I’ve done that a few times, but I found that it’s much more effective to just pick it up and put it in the trash as if it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe the missing one is the “silent passive aggressive” where the look in your eyes says it all? That can be the most dangerous of all, I’d think! ;)

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 7:30 pm

      Yes, it’s all about perfecting the look that says “How disappointing. Thanks to you, I’ve lost faith in humankind.”

  45. Marianbelgray
    January 26, 2011 | 4:50 pm

    This was my fave. So good.
    Oh, I totally picture the eyebrow-raised New Yorker being cut off. The L.A. version: Screaming at someone from your car, knowing full well they can’t hear a word because your windows are up.
    Here’s another:
    Passive Competitive (playground version)
    “Trust me, it’s a blessing your kid hasn’t started walking yet. It’s so exhausting!”
    = My kid is developing faster than your kid.

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 7:33 pm

      Thanks, Sis. Oooh, Passive Competitive is a good one!!

  46. Marianbelgray
    January 26, 2011 | 4:50 pm

    This was my fave. So good.
    Oh, I totally picture the eyebrow-raised New Yorker being cut off. The L.A. version: Screaming at someone from your car, knowing full well they can’t hear a word because your windows are up.
    Here’s another:
    Passive Competitive (playground version)
    “Trust me, it’s a blessing your kid hasn’t started walking yet. It’s so exhausting!”
    = My kid is developing faster than your kid.

    • LBelgray
      January 26, 2011 | 7:33 pm

      Thanks, Sis. Oooh, Passive Competitive is a good one!!

  47. liz
    January 26, 2011 | 11:27 pm

    how would you classify this move… Sitting on coach, close to front door, hearing my roommates bf knock, then use the door knocker, which she can’t hear from her room…but I’m not a fan so I let him wait in the hall? (side bar, if I have to see his man boobs, butt crack, or catch him taking a shit in my bathroom w/ the door open again, I’m just going to scream).

    • LBelgray
      January 31, 2011 | 10:56 pm

      I’d call that passive protective. Protecting yourself from sights that would melt your eyes right in your skull.

  48. liz
    January 26, 2011 | 11:27 pm

    how would you classify this move… Sitting on coach, close to front door, hearing my roommates bf knock, then use the door knocker, which she can’t hear from her room…but I’m not a fan so I let him wait in the hall? (side bar, if I have to see his man boobs, butt crack, or catch him taking a shit in my bathroom w/ the door open again, I’m just going to scream).

    • LBelgray
      January 31, 2011 | 10:56 pm

      I’d call that passive protective. Protecting yourself from sights that would melt your eyes right in your skull.

  49. Moriya
    January 31, 2011 | 4:11 pm

    L.O.V.E. this post! So fun to read that I was savoring it. I would read one then go do something else and then read another etc etc. What about Passive Anthropomorphizing? I had a roommate in college who would leave notes on things like the tv or answering machine like, “please return me to the previous channel before turning me off,” or “please don’t change my outgoing message.” Instead of confronting her passive aggressive ways I applied for a room change.

    • LBelgray
      January 31, 2011 | 10:12 pm

      Oh, that is a REALLY GOOD one. “Please wipe me off the next time you get pee on me.”
      Applying for a room change even better. Passive “smell ya later”-ive.

  50. Moriya
    January 31, 2011 | 4:11 pm

    L.O.V.E. this post! So fun to read that I was savoring it. I would read one then go do something else and then read another etc etc. What about Passive Anthropomorphizing? I had a roommate in college who would leave notes on things like the tv or answering machine like, “please return me to the previous channel before turning me off,” or “please don’t change my outgoing message.” Instead of confronting her passive aggressive ways I applied for a room change.

    • LBelgray
      January 31, 2011 | 10:12 pm

      Oh, that is a REALLY GOOD one. “Please wipe me off the next time you get pee on me.”
      Applying for a room change even better. Passive “smell ya later”-ive.

  51. Paul Goodchild
    February 16, 2011 | 10:33 pm

    I’ve just discovered this blog tonight… it’s hilarious! I think I might have used the birthday one myself. It’s amazing how pissed off you can be when someone doesn’t recognise your birthday contribution! :)

    Before all the smoking bans came in, it wasn’t uncommon to hear (i.e. for me to say)
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  52. Paul Goodchild
    February 16, 2011 | 10:33 pm

    I’ve just discovered this blog tonight… it’s hilarious! I think I might have used the birthday one myself. It’s amazing how pissed off you can be when someone doesn’t recognise your birthday contribution! :)

    Before all the smoking bans came in, it wasn’t uncommon to hear (i.e. for me to say)
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    = Put out your feckin’ cigarette it stinks! Can’t you hold it in for 5 minutes?!

  53. Olga Tsygankova
    February 24, 2011 | 11:36 am

    How about this:

    I had a friend who once told me: “Remember that girl we met in the cinema last week? She is sooo mean. You know what she said? She said “Oh, this Olga is rather pretty, but has SUCH problems with her skin”… But, of course, you shouldn’t pay attention…”

    Cool, ha?

    Loved your post)

    Olga T.

  54. Olga Tsygankova
    February 24, 2011 | 11:36 am

    How about this:

    I had a friend who once told me: “Remember that girl we met in the cinema last week? She is sooo mean. You know what she said? She said “Oh, this Olga is rather pretty, but has SUCH problems with her skin”… But, of course, you shouldn’t pay attention…”

    Cool, ha?

    Loved your post)

    Olga T.

  55. Linda Giella
    March 29, 2011 | 9:28 am

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  56. Karen
    August 18, 2011 | 10:52 pm

    Passive disgusted. What line would you use when a passenger on an airplane decides to either a. pick his nose-continuously, or b. clip their toenails-shooting bits off into another row?

    Just wondering what fabulous come-backs you have! LOVE your witticisms-fab writing.
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  57. Lorne
    August 23, 2011 | 10:27 pm

    What do you do if you have Asperger’s and can’t tell/don’t know if you are doing this/on the receiving end? I’ve certainly said most of these things at one time or another. (Save # 3 & 8: If I don’t like something I leave no doubt at all.) *sigh* Maybe it is time to give up…. (jk)

    • Tamie
      May 11, 2012 | 3:31 pm

      Good question.
      I know I’ve done #10 (Passive Defensive), but the way I typically mean it is: I’m sorry my tone of voice/behavior (that I wasn’t even aware of) made you think I was being nasty (which I wasn’t).
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  58. JR
    August 25, 2011 | 10:03 am

    Passive Informative as used by teachers.

    “Your child has a lot of potential”

    I couldn’t think of anything academically positive to say about your child.

    Great post.

  59. Kadijja
    February 9, 2012 | 1:47 pm

    I have a funny and effective passive-aggressive technique that gets people to pick up after themselves. If my roommate didn’t wash her dishes, I say to her, smiling, “Oh hey! Were you looking for your dish earlier?” When she gives me a quizzical look, I say “because it’s right here, in the sink.” Then we laugh and she does her dishes. You can use it for anything else like dirty socks, etc: “Oh hey! Were you looking for your socks earlier?” And so on.

  60. Matt
    May 15, 2012 | 6:52 pm

    This friend of mine will say something really passive aggressive, and then will add this little laugh afterwards to play it off like a joke. For example: “Dude, you never want to do anything with us anymore..hahaha”. Anytime you get in any type of an argument with him he also tries to make it a joke by smiling the entire time. Anyone else know bastards like this?

  61. emmaaa
    June 3, 2012 | 5:57 pm

    “Sorry, no comprendes” –> my gosh what an accent!

  62. JG
    August 7, 2012 | 5:40 am

    Psychologists like to come up with ways of categorizing or compartmentalizing every human behavioral trait, and “passive-aggressive” is no different. It’s not that difficult to define really – in most cases it’s just good old-fashioned “sarcasm”. It’s been around forever, and it’s proven so popular that it will never go out of fashion. Instead of trying to beat it, accept it. It can be kinda useful; if you recognize that being comprehensively sarcastic takes some skill, and that catty jibes often bear a grain of truth.

  63. Sheng
    August 14, 2012 | 10:12 am

    Passive Bragadocious –> this is I think the most popular passive aggressive behavior on all kinds of social network. But this is one of the most entertaining post that I’ve read in a long time. :)

    Sheng

  64. Robin Raven
    September 3, 2012 | 2:02 am

    I found your blog looking up vents for just such behavior. Because I am always on the receiving end of someone who is like, “I hate people who…(insert a wide variety of what I think is cool behavior that she disapproves up.” She knows I do those things; I know I do those things. The message is pretty clear. This was a painfully funny post.
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  65. Tori
    September 9, 2012 | 8:55 pm

    Very, very funny blog. I loved this post.

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  67. Donna G
    November 4, 2012 | 3:11 pm

    These are very funny. I needed the laugh tonight as I’ve just split from my passively aggressive abusive husband. There’s a funny side to this and a serious side. The serious side is not nice. I’m going to steal the one about the socks on the floor to use with my teenage boy. My web name is clever blonde but tonight I’m sure I’m actually a dumb blonde because I’ve said some of those things and was not intending to be passively aggressive and meant what I said. – am now fearing what people thought of me and how to make them like me!

  68. john
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    Confidently telling people who are mad at you not to worry without a reason why they shouldnt worry is a great way to piss someone off and make them feel low. Also when someone is expressing their anger keep asking them why they feel that way and eventually they will give up on being mad.

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    How about passive absentee-ism?
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  70. Passive agressive - Stormfront
    December 9, 2012 | 7:45 pm

    [...] thinks it would seem improper to express it directly. Examples are good ways to understand it: 11 Ways to be Passive Aggressive: An Essential Pocket Guide | Talking Shrimp [...]

  71. Voei
    January 2, 2013 | 11:19 am

    Also known as ‘sarcasm’.
    Which is another form of LIE.

  72. [INTJ] Passive Aggressiveness
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