Talking Shrimp
copywriting. jumbo style.
I love when a holiday’s over! That doesn’t mean I hate holidays, or hate turkey (I like it fine, especially the skin), or hate joy. I’m not a monster. What drains me is when everyone’s doing and saying the same things. I guess that’s the nature of tradition. Though, oy, does social media make it worse. Shame on me for not […]
KEEP READINGBack in 2003, there was this annoying chick who always danced in the front of my hip hop class at Crunch. To be clear, by “my hip hop class” I mean one that I went to every week, not one that I taught…or owned. And by “annoying chick” I mean she had an impossibly great […]
KEEP READINGIn third grade, I loaned a quarter to Serena, the richest girl in my class. She wanted it for a packet of Munchos from the vending machine. When I say rich, I mean, rich. Serena’s family had, and has, their last name on the most famous buildings in the world. Buildings with observation decks, where people get engaged or try crazy climbing stunts or realize their […]
KEEP READINGThere’s this twitter user you’ve probably heard of called “Shit My Dad Says.” He’s been on the scene since early Twitter. He tweets shit his dad says, and his feed was turned into a 2010 network tv show starring William Shatner. Except, of course, it wasn’t called “Shit My Dad Says.” It was written “$#*! […]
KEEP READINGIt’s my birthday! [Update: It was. When I wrote this. If you’re reading this on October 30th, it is again!] I was supposed to arrive on October 25th. My mom took a chance and went to a Bar Mitzvah on the due date. There’s a picture of her in the parking lot of a synagogue, […]
KEEP READINGI won’t tease it out. Here’s what the word is: CANCELED. Or, cancelled. I looked it up, and you can choose your own spelling. Ever go to the magazine store and notice there’s Conde Nast Traveler and Conde Nast Traveller? It’s like that. I spell it canceled, single “l” because I canceled the second one, and I […]
KEEP READINGShould I be ashamed? Am I a freak? A grinch, a soulless beast, a Kardashian-hearted money grubber? I wonder that sometimes. Because here’s what I see: People in the online business world (life coaches, business coaches, healers, private chefs, virtual assistants, copywriters, dog psychics) who cater to other people in the online business world (other […]
KEEP READINGBack in like, 1999, I kept getting calls from a collection agency for a mobile phone bill I’d already paid. Yes, I’d paid it late — to a previous collection agency, which, because collection agencies are just knuckleheads earning dollars from home in their dirty undies, had neglected to do the proper paperwork and log my payment. […]
KEEP READINGThe other day, I was on my walk (fyi – when I say “a walk” it means just a putter around the neighborhood where I might stop into a clothing store and try on a top; when I say ”my walk” it means a long one that counts as my workout for the day. A walk that must happen. Podcasts […]
KEEP READINGKnow what I need to do? Apparently, everything. Every time I open up 750words.com, which I use as my journal, I see that I accidentally skipped a few days. I broke my streak. And I invariably start with, “I need to write more.” And then, as I continue typing, the “I need to”s multiply like Gremlins when they get […]
KEEP READINGNo, a cab driver didn’t really convince me to have kids. But he sure did try. As soon as I got in, I knew he was was going to be one of “those” drivers. You know: the talkative kind. My first clue was that he asked, “How was your day?” instead of asking where I […]
KEEP READINGYesterday’s blog post sucked. I knew it while I was writing it. I’d had nothing to write, a state which I’ve promised won’t stop me from writing. “No time to write today” is legit; “Nothing to write today” is not. Why? Because sometimes when I’m thinking, I’ve used up all the thoughts and ideas I’ll ever have, […]
KEEP READINGOn my way home from dance last week, at the crosswalk on 5th Ave and 9th Street, I noticed a guy walking slowly in front of me. He was weaving a little as people do when they’re texting, except he was looking down at a piece of paper and then back up at the street […]
KEEP READINGFor months after September 11th, strangers in New York talked to each other. If you were in a restaurant or a doctor’s waiting room or on the subway, you’d inevitably overhear someone talking about the attack. And you’d join in. You’d ask where they were that day, and tell them where you were. The people […]
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