Talking Shrimp
copywriting. jumbo style.
“How can I be more concise in my writing?” Everyone asks that. Usually, the first key to being more concise is…making an effort to be concise. Most people don’t try. They just decide, “I’m not a concise person.” That’s like deciding you’re a late person. Decide not to be. Look — ???? ???? ☢️ When someone […]
KEEP READINGEver wish you could: Edit the existing copy on your website…without messing up the existing copy on your website? Change the tagline on one of the Internet’s most visited websites? Just for kicks? Get a more constructive, healthy hobby? Kidding. If you’re writing web or sales copy – your own or anyone else’s – nothing could be smarter […]
KEEP READINGFOMO (fear of missing out) is probably my #1 motivator and most nagging neurosis. I’ll say yes to things I’m not that interested in just because I can’t handle the possibility of people I like having fun without me. What’s that? My favorite friends will all be standing nude in a snowstorm, listening to live death […]
KEEP READINGFact: Good copywriting is always conversational copywriting. So, the first test of good copy is: Does it sound like something you’d say to a friend? Here’s the deal — most people still confuse “professional” with “formal and corporate.” Truth is, conversational is the new professional. Stiff and stodgy feels as dated as a smooth jazz cover of […]
KEEP READING“If it’s not a ‘hell yes’, it’s a ‘hell no!’” If you haven’t heard that expression, then you probably aren’t in contact with any coaches-slash-“lifestyle design” experts, or anyone who’s being coached and parrots everything they hear. And you probably don’t read any of the self-helpy or businessy blogs that I can’t help browsing every […]
KEEP READINGThe real story is the one I never used. I always made some shit up when I wanted to skip an after-school commitment. “I didn’t make it all the way to Hebrew School because a drug dealer came up to me and offered me pot on 83rd Street. What, why are you mad, I thought you’d […]
KEEP READING✏️#copywritingtip: You’ve got that big, beautiful header and that’s what you’re going to put in it? “Welcome to my website”? ⠀ Or even, “WELCOME. WE’RE SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE.”⠀ ⠀ First of all, we know it’s a website. It’s not 1994 where we’re like, “Oooh, this is part of the Internet. It’s interactive!” ⠀ ⠀ […]
KEEP READINGThe cast: (AKA the Beirut Scooby Doo Gang. Can’t imagine the trip without any one of these people.) The great friend who collects art and people, the dentist/ friendtist who fixed my tooth. And, our fearless leader. There’s a reason you don’t hear about scaredy-cat leaders. It takes a big, swinging set to wrangle a group of people […]
KEEP READINGIf it’s 8am, I’m still sleeping. Go away. 9am? Still sleeping. Maybe even at 10. I’m not proud that I sleep so late, but I’m proud that I can. I’ve built a profitable business that lets me be the Queen of Snooze that I am. (So can you. More on that down the page.) Fun […]
KEEP READINGA productivity workshop seemed like a silly idea for me. No, not because I’m so productive. I could win shiny gold medals for wasting time, if there were official world records. But there aren’t, because it’s a hard thing to measure: Is staring at Facebook for hours waiting for another like to show up wasting time? Is […]
KEEP READINGLast year, I attended a fantastic event in Florida called Heroic Public Speaking Live. Or, as I now call it, “HPS Live.” That’s insider lingo. At 8:25am on the first day, I met a woman named Brenda Barbosa. She’d lined up right behind me to register, in the “last names A-D” line. Brenda knew that […]
KEEP READING25 years ago, a fucking quarter century, I was working in a bar downtown. East Village. I didn’t even know where I was, except how to get there from the subway. On my way, I walked past the Palladium and a bunch of junkies. It was winter, so I wore my black wool coat there. […]
KEEP READINGToday, an ad in my Facebook feed asks, WHO WOULD YOU BE IF MONEY DIDN’T MATTER? And then it says, FREE Video Series Will Help You Discover Your Personal Path to Financial Liberation! The image below is a woman — the actual person who’s going to teach you this path — in a thin, 1970s style halter top cut down to […]
KEEP READINGWriting resolutions I want to start right now: Write every day. Write shorter copy. Write shorter sentences. Trim the fat, even if I’m in love with the fat. I meant that figuratively, but I do love fat. I’ve fork-stabbed my own husband over a piece of chicken skin. Stop using so many parentheses (though I might […]
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