“How can I be more concise in my writing?” Everyone asks that. Usually, the first key to being more concise is…making an effort to be concise. Most people don’t try. They just decide, “I’m not a concise person.” That’s like deciding you’re a late person. Decide not to be. Look — ???? ???? ☢️ When someone […]
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How to type new copy into any website (and freak out your friends)
Ever wish you could: Edit the existing copy on your website…without messing up the existing copy on your website? Change the tagline on one of the Internet’s most visited websites? Just for kicks? Get a more constructive, healthy hobby? Kidding. If you’re writing web or sales copy – your own or anyone else’s – nothing could be smarter […]
KEEP READINGHow not to write like a 90s business robot that had a baby with a college professor
Fact: Good copywriting is always conversational copywriting. So, the first test of good copy is: Does it sound like something you’d say to a friend? Here’s the deal — most people still confuse “professional” with “formal and corporate.” Truth is, conversational is the new professional. Stiff and stodgy feels as dated as a smooth jazz cover of […]
KEEP READINGWhy I got fired, the sauerkruat smell, and how to be un-fire-able
If it’s 8am, I’m still sleeping. Go away. 9am? Still sleeping. Maybe even at 10. I’m not proud that I sleep so late, but I’m proud that I can. I’ve built a profitable business that lets me be the Queen of Snooze that I am. (So can you. More on that down the page.) Fun […]
KEEP READINGHow to be famous
Last year, I attended a fantastic event in Florida called Heroic Public Speaking Live. Or, as I now call it, “HPS Live.” That’s insider lingo. At 8:25am on the first day, I met a woman named Brenda Barbosa. She’d lined up right behind me to register, in the “last names A-D” line. Brenda knew that […]
KEEP READINGWriting resolutions I want to start right now
Writing resolutions I want to start right now: Write every day. Write shorter copy. Write shorter sentences. Trim the fat, even if I’m in love with the fat. I meant that figuratively, but I do love fat. I’ve fork-stabbed my own husband over a piece of chicken skin. Stop using so many parentheses (though I might […]
KEEP READINGDon’t let this happen to your ideas.
I found two plastic bags of moldy muffin scraps in my tote this morning. They taught me an important lesson about creativity. (OK, that’s a major stretch, but why not make old bread products a teachable moment? Plus, let’s face it, everyone’s “lessons” on the internet are pushing it.) Here’s the backstory: I can’t snack these days. […]
KEEP READINGA severe case of “don’t wanna do sh*t”
Last week, I treated myself to some heavy-duty, delightfully effective Tylenol Cold and Flu. Man, do I love Western medicine! Praise Duane Reade. Blessed be CVS. My one complaint is the damn packaging that breaks off your fingernails. “Peel from this corner” is the biggest tease of all time. Why don’t they let us go through all […]
KEEP READINGShould I get off my high horse about grammar?
Last week, I wrote a post on Facebook that I immediately wanted to delete. It was a clever little finger wag about grammar. I hate clever. I love dumb, I love funny, but clever is yuck. Clever is “Get it? Get it?” It’s a pursed-lip giggle with fanned fingers touched to pearls, in an “Oh […]
KEEP READINGThe one thing nobody tells you about being an entrepreneur
The one thing nobody tells you about being an entrepreneur is, your inbox will be full of emails every single day telling you “The One Thing Nobody Tells You About Being An Entrepreneur.” And you will click each one of those open, even though you know it’s only going to say some version of this: […]
KEEP READINGWorst writing advice ever. Ever, ever.
I have fake eyelash extensions, I often put off writing, and I used to be in a cult. 3 things I’ve mentioned here before, and today they all tie together. First, about the cult: I’ll give the usual qualifier, which is that it wasn’t a cult-cult, more of a weekly workshop attended by about 70 […]
KEEP READINGHow to salvage a shitty day
My day today was going shitty. Nothing terrible happened, it was more of a low-grade shitty. 1) I woke up looking really puffy, especially around the jowl area. I say “jowl area” because it sounds less harsh and middle-aged than plain ol’ “jowls.” 2) I forgot to take the spoiled arugula with me when I went out for my […]
KEEP READINGNo one’s thinking about you as much as you are. (And why you don’t need to apologize for not blogging more)
I look like shit I look like shit I look like shit. That’s the thought that ruined my whole evening recently. And my steak. That day, I’d been part of a photo shoot for a friend who’s a stylist and needed to put outfits on real people (read: so. not. models.) for her blog. She had pros there to do my […]
KEEP READINGThere’s no such thing as a small job. (Talking Shrimp grand re-opening!)
This is a proud moment for me. And for you, if we’re so close that you share my wishes and dreams and accomplishments and want to wear me as a skin suit. Ready? Talking Shrimp is all new! OK, not all new. I couldn’t change everything, on account of I hate change. Which makes me […]
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