I had a housemate in college who’d leave messages on my answering machine like this: BEEEP! “Hey, just checking in, I was just wondering what you were planning to do with the spaghetti pot and some of the other stuff you left out on the counter. I’d clean them myself, it’s no big deal, but with […]
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“Mansplaining” should never have been a word. (On the dopiest portmanteau ever, and how to make your own)
Chocoholic. Faux-hawk. Netiquette. Tanorexic. Jazzercise, glitterati, Brangelina. I love a good portmanteau. You know, that kind of word that’s a combo of two words and usually a twist on a longer one. Cassingle. Showmance. Mathlete. Sometimes it’s called a frankenword. It used to be called a “Sniglet” – coined in the 1980s by comedian Rich […]
KEEP READINGHow to create valuable content (it’s not what you think)
“Add value.” “Deliver value.” “Provide massive value.” It’s not a new word, this “value.” But if you’re new to the online marketing space (AKA “The Space”) you might be newly inundated with it. ‘Round these parts, they use it out the ying-yang. “If you want people to buy from you, get known for delivering tons of […]
KEEP READINGThe F-word I don’t use (and maybe you shouldn’t, either)
“Are you a freelancer?” When someone asks that, I nod yes-ish and answer, “I have a copywriting business.” I’ll call myself a consultant, a professional copywriter, an independent contractor. I’ll say I’m for hire. A free agent. Available for projects. A business owner. But I don’t say “freelancer.” Why? Because it sounds poor. Poor, and […]
KEEP READINGShit. I said a bad word.
There’s this twitter user you’ve probably heard of called “Shit My Dad Says.” He’s been on the scene since early Twitter. He tweets shit his dad says, and his feed was turned into a 2010 network tv show starring William Shatner. Except, of course, it wasn’t called “Shit My Dad Says.” It was written “$#*! […]
KEEP READINGThe beauty of the non-niche niche
“You need a niche,” everyone screams. I get it. When you do one really specific thing for one really specific group, you’re more likely to be the only one. You get to be THE top expert who’s top of mind when someone says, “I need an online business strategist for gluten-free bakeries.” “I need an […]
KEEP READINGThe antidote to FOMO
FOMO (fear of missing out) is probably my #1 motivator and most nagging neurosis. I’ll say yes to things I’m not that interested in just because I can’t handle the possibility of people I like having fun without me. What’s that? My favorite friends will all be standing nude in a snowstorm, listening to live death […]
KEEP READINGHow not to write like a 90s business robot that had a baby with a college professor
Fact: Good copywriting is always conversational copywriting. So, the first test of good copy is: Does it sound like something you’d say to a friend? Here’s the deal — most people still confuse “professional” with “formal and corporate.” Truth is, conversational is the new professional. Stiff and stodgy feels as dated as a smooth jazz cover of […]
KEEP READINGCurious vs nosy: what’s the diff?
In 6th grade, I was climbing the stairwell at school and heard D’Aisy* a half flight up, talking loudly to her BFF Giselle*. D’Aisy said, “I’m not inviting her.” Giselle said, “Good, she bugs me so much.” Interesting. I started jogging up the steps to catch up. “Who’s this about?” I asked them. “Who bugs you?” […]
KEEP READINGShould I get off my high horse about grammar?
Last week, I wrote a post on Facebook that I immediately wanted to delete. It was a clever little finger wag about grammar. I hate clever. I love dumb, I love funny, but clever is yuck. Clever is “Get it? Get it?” It’s a pursed-lip giggle with fanned fingers touched to pearls, in an “Oh […]
KEEP READINGIf you’re so “in your body,” can you please move your legs and your cucumbers?
“I feel so in my body,” says the dancer in leg warmers. She’s stretching them, and her pointed toes, straight out in front of her — smack in the middle of the narrow hallway outside Studio 2, where I’ve just come out of my House dance class. Sweat from my drenched t-shirt drips on her, which is fair because she […]
KEEP READINGNobody Likes Me (Maybe Because I Correct This Grammar Mistake Under My Breath)
Ready for my biggest grammar pet peeve? Oh. I know, from the title, you thought this was going to be a self-pity piece about what a friendless loser I am. Don’t worry (especially you, Mom) — people like me. I know this because I say it in front of the mirror every morning. Technically, I should’ve called the […]
KEEP READING3 very valid reasons to hate nor’easters
1) Old-timey apostrophes are goofy. Like in the word “per’aps,” which, I’m ashamed to remember, I went through a phase of saying instead of “maybe” when I was 11. That and the sandals with socks might be why even my little sister stopped thinking I was cool. 2) The weather part sucks, especially when you’re […]
KEEP READINGDo you have LOL Tourette’s? lol.
LOL!! What’s so funny? Oh, nothing. I just typed that to fill an uncomfortable silence. That’s what everyone else does. I mean, come on: how often is someone really laughing out loud, or even smiling, when they use LOL? I’m not completely against LOL-ing. I’m okay with it when it’s in reply to something funny. […]
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