Last week, I wrote a post on Facebook that I immediately wanted to delete. It was a clever little finger wag about grammar. I hate clever. I love dumb, I love funny, but clever is yuck. Clever is “Get it? Get it?” It’s a pursed-lip giggle with fanned fingers touched to pearls, in an “Oh […]
KEEP READINGpet peeves
Drinking the Kool-Aid Tea
I hate cult-y behavior. I don’t mean where someone shaves their head and gives their money to a charismatic leader and has sex with him every night until a parent comes to pick them up and finds them in filthy clothes and malnourished from eating nothing but carrots, the one crop grown on the cult property. I have nothing against that […]
KEEP READINGDoggy nails to bacon: everything that’s wrong with our apartment
I’m in love with our new apartment. I’m not allowed to post photos, because, Steven reminds me, it’s show-offy. I guess it’s show-offy to even reveal the reason he said not to. If I’d just said, “Steven won’t let me post pictures,” and left it at that, it could mean we live in a dump […]
KEEP READINGThe walking and feeding of pet peeves
As a kid, every time I went to the store with my dad, I’d watch him do something I thought was re-fucking-tarded:
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