It’s my dad’s 81st birthday. I’m sure he’ll get some Happy Birthday posts on his Facebook timeline. But if I told him to check his timeline, the conversation would go like this: DAD: “Lime line?” ME: “Timeline.” DAD: “Rhyme line?” ME: “TIME line. Check your time line.” DAD: “No need. I don’t have any […]
KEEP READINGmy dad
Sometimes the squeaky wheel looks like a dipshit.
My dad loves the expression “The squeaky wheel gets the oil.” He also loves demanding oil when he’s told there is no oil, or that the squeaky wheels aren’t allowed to have it. Which brings me to another favorite expression of his: “Would it be possible for you to make an exception?” The lesson I […]
KEEP READINGWho’s your robot butler? And other Seldom Asked Questions
All the blogs on blogging say that to “create value” in your content, you should listen to your readers: What are they saying in the comments? What questions are they asking? Answer them! I couldn’t really find any questions in the comments, so I reached out to you and asked what you wanted to know. […]
KEEP READINGThe walking and feeding of pet peeves
As a kid, every time I went to the store with my dad, I’d watch him do something I thought was re-fucking-tarded:
KEEP READINGHappiness is a cup of hot nuts.
People say that money can’t buy you happiness. And Countess Luanne insists that money can’t buy you class. But they’re both wrong (and dumb) — because money can buy you Business Class.
KEEP READINGGifts for the dad who feels everything
Today is my dad’s 78th birthday. Buying presents for him is always hard. Not because he’s “the man who has everything,” but because he’s “the man who wants nothing normal.”
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