I’ve been very deserve-y since I got back from Europe.
(Sorry for that sentence. “Since I got back from Europe” is a heinous thing to say. Makes me think of my first day at my private all-girls school in 9th grade. During lunch, one of the fanciest girls in the class — her last name was one of those VanDer names, and was Dutch for “Fancypants” — said, “I’m so glad there’s yogurt. Ever since I got back from Europe, I’ve eaten nothing but.”)
What I mean by deserve-y is: I constantly tell myself, “I deserve it.”
I’m going to sleep another hour, I deserve it. I’m going to watch The Leftovers on my iPad instead of working, I deserve it. I’m having ice cream. I’m taking a nap. I’m ignoring email. I’m going to say no to that extra assignment I don’t feel like doing and enjoy my night. I deserve it!
I’m not sure what makes me so deserve-y.
I didn’t have food poisoning.
I didn’t have surgery.
Nobody died. (Well, no one I know.)
I didn’t pull an all-nighter partying.
I didn’t pull an all-nighter writing.
Didn’t work out harder than usual.
I had jet lag, but that’s over.
I taught a 3-day workshop to 35 people, but that was already 3 weeks ago.
So why do I feel and act like I’m recovering from something?
Creatively speaking, I was all jacked up like Tony Robbins on meth back in January. So why now, during my favorite time of the year — when the air is so nice I want to eat it — is my brain is going, “Make something? Bleh. Shush, I was just falling asleep in the sun. Is my back getting red?”
During this phase, I think of my dad.
Excused-due-to-still-being-mid-recovery-from-something-long-past is his favorite state. When I was a kid, he’d say, “I’m not up to that task. Could you please take care of it for me? I’m still severely hampered by this tail end of the flu.” A tail end would last for 5 months.
It seems unfair to use recent, age-related examples. So I’ll say that he loves the word “curtailed.” As in, “I’m writing a book, but my efforts have been curtailed by my [insert health event] of last [insert name of month half a year ago].”
Maybe I get it from him.
Or maybe there is no why. Maybe creative motivation is like the weather. Not correlated with the weather, but like it. In that you can’t control it or predict too far in advance whether it’s going to be glorious, or rainy and muggy with a chub-rub index of 100.
I hear you squishy coach-y types.
You’re saying, “Don’t fight your flow. Your body is telling you to take it easy. Honor that feeling. You deserve it!”
I know I do. That’s the problem. When you spend too long saying “I deserve it,” and honoring your sloth, all you deserve is a drop-off in business and the big dent you made on the couch.
And here’s what else:
The people you serve don’t care what you deserve. (Oh snap, so tweetable. Did you know you could highlight any section of this post to tweet it?)
So don’t loathe your laziness, but don’t lean into it either. You might have to lean away.
Why do you think I made myself write this?
Now you.
Do you go through unpredictable, alternating seasons of motivation and deserve-y laziness?
What do you do about it?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
I believe when we get off the ‘treadmill’ to relax or rest, we get re-energized for the next round.
I also know, we take better care of our cell phones then ourselves! We RECHARGE them every night and sometimes even during the day!
Why? So it’s ready and working at peak performance!
I just Tweeted “The people you serve don’t care what you deserve.” I’m so with it.
I face this problem ALL THE TIME. But if I listen to it when it’s happening, and I flake off for an hour (or a day), I feel MUCH worse, ’cause then I have sloth AND guilt AND more work to do later.
No, what I do is, I make myself start something – anything – and then the motivation returns. I grab a bit of low-hanging fruit and just begin. Or I go balls to the wall and grab the job I really don’t want to begin (because it’s really hard) and I begin that.
It always works.
Then, to assuage my yearning for chill-time, I plan a day off. In fact, I’m doing this right now. I’m about to close out two conferences in two states spread over seven days, and I desperately want a ‘fu*k you all’ day. So I’m gonna take Monday off (when the weather’s supposed to be nice), and take a drive down the coast. Just me and my convertible.
Because I deserve it. 🙂
One could make the periods of lassitude the REASON and GOAL for all the hard work. Sort of the way Shabbos is what the rest of the week is aiming for. The culmination of the week.
I do the same thing and how do I get myself out of it? I go thru extreme drills of exercise or quitting this or binging on coffee that I will have to quite in a few weeks cause it’s not good for me. I’m in that place now but the guilt of knowing I’m taking advantage of this kind of I’m feeling sorry for myself thing so I have to kick my ass into action or a major change or shove it in a box and hope it goes away.
If I had the confidence that I could quit anything in a few weeks, I’d probably try meth. That’d do the trick!
LOL! The problem is that damn addiction roulette game you’d be playing.
First, just the other day I was writing a blog before I take a break and while typing ‘happy summer’ l was wondering- does everyone take holiday in July since in some countries it’s not summer. Like here in Mauritius my native country it’s Winter. My husband and I came back after seven years, but I kept the ‘happy summer since I leave in Dubai. So I feel sorry for the that person who felt offended.
Yes after a big project, my brain and body tend to go on an automatic deserving mode that I can’t control. Usually I feel guilty because I want to be productive yet my body and brain is not agreeing with me. But recently I have learned that there is no point fighting it, as it makes things just harder and creating more guilt, so I allow it to happen for a few days and then shake myself out of it! I write a to do list and tackle one thing at a time but slowly without being pushy on my brain.
I just had to look up the current weather in Mauritius — 73 degrees! If that’s your winter, you can always say “Happy Summer.”
Love your “shake out of it” approach.
Nope, I don’t have the feeling of “I deserve this.” I don’t deserve anything. Rather, if I reach a milestone or something like that, I might have a flicker of “I EARNED this meal out.”
As an added benefit, “voluntary hardship” gets me off that hedonic treadmill and keeps me in check 🙂
I will never raise my hand for hardship! Unless you count time on the actual treadmill. Exercise is my only form of voluntary hardship. That and procrastination.
Oh, yeah. Lazy is right now — that’s why I’m reading your post. Truth is, I was going to take a 15-minute power nap but your email popped into my inbox and I clicked.
Seemed like less effort than lying down.
Okay, now I deserve to lay down now because I left a comment on your blog. Hope the “tail end” of this comment doesn’t last the whole day.
Great post, and perfect timing.
Zzzzzz.
I’m finally getting over the tail end of putting off replying to comments! Thank you for this one. I’m happy I could get in the way of your power nap.