There’s this woman Georgia in my dance class — by that, I mean my instructor Cebo’s dance class, which I take, not teach — who’s amazing.
I often watch her and think, “Oh, so THAT’S how that move should look.”
She’s super hard on herself. Always yelling out “Aahhhhhh!” when she messes up a move as if anyone would notice and as if it matters to get it exactly right. It’s a class, not an audition for “Hairspray.” Though I get it, I like to get the moves right, too. It’s just that she looks so good dancing that, who cares?
She’s a Pilates instructor as well as a dancer. While we were waiting to get into the studio for Cebo’s class, I told her I liked her Pilates promotions on Instagram. She’d posted a story or two with a great picture of her doing some Pilates move that I couldn’t name because I haven’t done Pilates since the 90s, when everyone with a hot body would gesture to their cut arms and flat abs and say, “Oh, it’s all Pilates.” Didn’t work for me, hated it. I have no core, and I’m OK with that. (And BTW, please don’t write back and tell me you’d show me how to love Pilates. There are enough people who WANT to do Pilates to fill your practice, if you’re a Pilates instructor.)
Anyway, back on track here: when I congratulated her for promoting her classes, she rolled her eyes and said “I know, I’m trying. But I feel like people are going to be like, ‘Go away.’ I hate being all ‘Look at me!’ I feel…” [punctuated with a shiver and an “ick” face.]
I get that. But I said to her, “People need you to be all ‘look at me.’ They want you to be a star. They want a leader, someone they can look at and say, “I want to learn to do that. I want to be like Georgia. I’m going to do it; I’m going to try her class.”
She said, “Yeah, yeah…I guess you’re right.”
And then I pointed out, “Do you think it’s gross when Cebo posts a dance video? Or are you like, ‘Oh man, Cebo’s the best! I wanna do that!'”
She agreed.
“People are looking for leaders.” I told her. “They’re glad when you’re a star; they want to look up to you.”
If it sounds like I did a lot of lecturing there by the studio door, you’re right — I just get excited about talented people promoting themselves. (Also, know that it was very casual. I said it all while making a ponytail, with a hair tie in my mouth, and rubbing my feet in the bin of baby powder. And then pulling up my workout pants, which had that uncomfortable gap below the crotch).
You can picture me doing that now as I tell you the same —
Don’t you look for people to follow, model, aspire to? Do you want those people to go away? No?
Well then: Same for you. YOU be willing to be a star.
People want leaders, and they want to look up to you.
It makes them happy and motivates them.
It shows them what’s possible.
You’re not doing anyone any favors if you hide and refuse to be all “Look at me.”
DO be all “Look at me.”
That’s what I’m doing right now, aren’t you glad?]]>
I love this and really needed to hear it! I hereby commit to operate from a place of leadership and stardom!
Thank you!
“That’s what I’m doing right now, aren’t you glad?”
“Yes Laura!” I find myself saying out loud while at the bar of a random restaurant in San Diego, dining solo. (one of the many joys of traveling for work) Teenage wasteland was the sound track, margarita the accompaniment, but I’m glad that you’re my star company tonight.
When I found out that I had left my headphones at the hotel and that Netflix’s Schit Creek could not keep me company, I thought to my self “who can make me laugh the same way but in writing?” And now we’re here.
You’re my star Laura!
This is the best advice – said just the right way. Thank you, Laura, you are a star.
I just spent a week with my mentor, who’s a big shot in my industry. She called me a leader and said people are hungry for what I offer. Not you though apparently ‘cause I’m a Pilates teacher. Ha! I don’t care I still love you anyway, not everyone should do Pilates.
I want to be a star and a leader, too. I appreciate you being so straight forward about it. You are so right. I don’t want the people I look up to to go away. I want more.
Thanks and congrats on your successful, sold out talk!