OK, I have two things to confess.
Jesus, I already hate this post. I hate when bloggers say they’re going to confess something and you get all excited for something juicy, like “I make out with my dog and I don’t just mean first base” or “My real hobby isn’t painting watercolor landscapes, it’s shoplifting Lanvin handbags from Barney’s” and then it’s just some boring, self-serving business confession like “Sometimes I forget my true brilliance and feel like a fraud.”
(I pointed this out in my last post, or email, I forget which, which makes me hate it even more. But I’m leaving it in.)
So, I wrote my last post about how sad it is when people set out to make money from their passion, say guitar playing, and instead of ever achieving that, they end up pushing aside guitar playing in favor of teaching OTHER guitar players how to make money from guitar playing. Without ever having made a dime from their own guitar playing. Does that make sense? If not, my last post explained it pretty well.
CONFESSION ONE
The first confession is, I’ve kind of done that. Yes, that thing that I said was sad.
Not teach people how to do something I never figured out myself, so much as put off the thing I want to do because I haven’t figured out how it will make bank.
I’ve always had this fantasy of getting paid to write emails to my friends. Obviously, that’s not going to happen. My friends are used to getting my emails for free. They’re spoiled creatures, which is my fault, because I set a precedent.
I should’ve charged them by the email – or maybe by the word? – from the get-go. Condition them to pony up.
But: what if I could make my blog the same kind of writing I do when I’m writing an email? And do it every day?
Every time I put that idea out there, a friend says “do it!” Because though my friends are spoiled and expect me to write them emails for free, they’re also very encouraging.
And I say, “Yeah! I’m gonna do it!” And I get all excited about making my art. Living it. Shipping it, as Seth Godin says. (That’s a foreshadowing of the second confession)
And then, I start wondering how I’m going to deliver it to my list. Do I email the whole post to them every day? Do I email a digest once a week, with links? Do I just put it up and let them find it, and make it America’s Best Kept Secret?
How many people are really interested in what I have to say on a daily basis? I count 2: my mom and dad. I don’t call them enough, so they make do with my blog.
And then there’s this thought:
How many people will unsubscribe because my blog doesn’t do what everyone else’s blog does, which is give them a tip they can immediately pretend they’re going to use?
If you’ve spent any time in Tha OBL (Online Business Land), you’ve heard over and over that you’re supposed to “deliver massive value” and “make your blogs actionable.” This mandate has been stopping me for 5 years from just writing whatever, which is what I really want to write.
I don’t always want to bother with a great title, or easy-to-read sub-heads, or a Call To Action. If I have to think up those things, then I don’t want to write.
Do I want to make millions from my blog? You bet!
And will writing every day, and writing about the useless crap I want to write about, make those millions? No!
But does not writing every day make the millions? No! So note to self: shut the f up and just write some dumb shit.
This whole head game is like if I wanted to take up photography, and never took a single photo because I couldn’t figure out what kind of frame would be best for my photos, and what gallery I should approach to represent me, and what will be the motif of my first solo show.
CONFESSION TWO
This is also about my last blog post. I made a joke about entrepreneurs whacking off to Seth Godin. Well, I’m a little obsessed with him right now. Not to the point of whacking off, because ladies don’t do that, but I do take long walks down Greenwich Street (no one’s ever on Greenwich Street, so low risk of bumping into someone I know when sweat is cascading down my face) and listen to Podcast interviews with Seth Godin the whole way.
I have to keep stopping and rewinding, because he’s so inspiring that my imagination starts exploring all the great ways I’m going to act on his inspiration, and what an artistic hero I’ll be…and then to the strong possibility that I’ll do what I usually do, which is excite myself out of doing anything and just get home and nap instead of writing.
Well. Not today. I’m back from my walk and writing this post.
Seth says he’s productive because he doesn’t watch TV, he doesn’t go to meetings, and he does things he’s afraid of.
How about 2 out of 3?
Life wouldn’t be worth living without TV, but I already avoid meetings, and I can certainly start doing something I’m afraid of. In fact, 2 things.
2 THINGS I’M AFRAID OF DOING THAT I’M GOING TO DO ANYWAY
1) Next week, I’m getting eyelash extensions. I know this doesn’t sound scary, but I’ve heard they can make your real lashes fall out, and then you get into a cycle of having to retouch them every 2-3 weeks. My friend Steph says that’s a myth, but I’m still a little afraid of the upkeep. And I’m doing it anyway! Are you proud?
2) I’m afraid of promising I’m going to write every day.
So here goes. I’m going to write every day.
And not worry about whether anyone will like or even read it. Or whether I’m repeating something I said before. Or whether it’s “actionable.” Or whether I group things in threes. Notice I’ve grouped them in twos when every blog expert agrees that 3 is the magic number?
This is what I’m saying. If I have to worry about shit like threes, I’ll never write.
How long will this go on for and what does “every day” mean?
Who knows. Even if I just blog today and tomorrow, I can say I tried writing every day. But I’m aiming for a month, just for starters. Vacation might be tricky. Going to the Aeolian Islands in Italy, where I expect the sun and anchovies will be strong and the wifi weak. (Take that slogan, Aeolian Islands. First one’s free.)
Weekends might be optional. I’m starting today, a Saturday, because I had the fire in me.
OK, that’s all for now. It’s already 6 and I was supposed to spend the day doing work that I haven’t even started. So. Bye.
Comment if you want. There’s my call to action.
Note: other posts will be much shorter. I think. Why am I telling you that, you’re not going to read them. Or are you?
You are just so thoroughly entertaining! You make me feel like you climbed inside my brain and got all my thoughts out, did a professional organization on them and translated them in this blog post ( of course I could never articulate this as clearly and amusingly as you did!). I too fear lash extensions and am very proud of you. I promise to read every day you do write. I too fear writing the “wrong” thing or something without enough “value” but you are right – it’s time to just write. I will post my first blog post this week – I tell people all the time to write blogs but I never do it myself. That ends here. Thanks as always for inspiring, educating and entertaining!
Thank you, Erica! And yes, I missed this comment – just saw it now as I trolled my own blog. New form of procrastination.
Something you should know: I did climb inside your brain and get all your thoughts out. It sounds like an invasive procedure but the recovery time is minimal, so you didn’t even know it happened. And if you’ve been reading along, you’ll know by now that the lash extensions were SO WORTH IT and not scary to do. Highly recommend. (Thanks for being proudame.)
I am officially commenting on your brilliance. Ughhh…the rules. THE. RULES. That’s what makes it so dang hard. You just wanna write stuff, but if you do then you’re not providing value… and wait, the most unappreciated value in the world is HUMOR… everyone loves it, few wanna pay for it. Um, can I get a value size e-mail with extra ketch-up…I’ll pay the extra fiddy cent for a packet.
So excited to read your work on a damn near daily basis.
I didn’t know this comment was here! What a jerk you must think me. After you dedicated a post to me and everything. Speaking of HUMOR, you blamed something on me and then didn’t do it, so now I look like a bad blamee. I want more Tangela. More more more.
And 50 cents is a pretty nice profit margin for ketchup. So you’re on.
First, YES! YES! YES! Second, I believe we may have been twins born to different mothers. Which is good, since I have a feeling there’s a 25 year age gap there. What you expressed about not wanting to write on your blog, the pressure to make it “actionable” yada yada… is the same thing that keeps me from writing on mine. So I’ve already said that in a different comment on a different post here. I’ve even had the same thoughts about making millions (scratch that — a good living) on writing emails and tweets. My magazine editor once told me that he gets excited to see emails from me — a rare occurrence in his job — because he loves reading them. If only everyone felt that way. But the idea of putting posts together into a book is a good one.
Better late than never, right? Your comment got stuck in spam and I didn’t know it was here – I think I was pretending that day that I didn’t care about comments, so I didn’t check.
Anyway, so far, nothing actionable at all! And I’ve done like, almost 20 posts. I’m guessing, didn’t count. But that’s more than in the last 3 years put together.
Boo actionable, who actually follows through anyway, right?
I write for 3 people. If 3 people get something out of it, my work is done. I either heard that at a writers’ conference or I made it up. But it’s good enough. I’m considering giving up TV on weeknights until I get something published. That makes me want to cry. But my knowledge of RH of Whatever is getting me nowhere. I wish I could get an email from you every day. And I would understand if you couldn’t write one day because you were on vacation or didn’t feel like it. No actionable crap please. I have enough to do. Now I’m more inspired to do my stuff…see what you did?
OMG all my comments on this went to spam! And they deserved replies. So, it’s been a couple of weeks – did you do it? Did you give up weeknight TV?
I still feel like my knowledge of RHO ___ will get me somewhere. I’m holding on to the dream, Nancy.
I agree, writing to just those three people makes the writing so much better. It totally changes when I’m picturing a group, not for the better.
What if, after about a year, you collect all those blog posts into a book that becomes a best seller and is optioned by Comcast or some other conglomerate and turned into a movie starring Jennifer Lopez or Kristin Stewart or Ryan Reynolds or Cameron Diaz, or a TV series starring Aubrey Plaza or Melissa Rivers or Ashley (the daughter of Les on Hardcore Pawn)? Wouldn’t you conceivably make millions that way?
Now we’re talking! I’m going to nix Kristin Stewart because her on-set dalliances with the married director will stall the production. But the rest of the cast ideas seem on point. Can I swap Aubrey Plaza out for Aubrey O’Day? Or Audrina Patridge?
I’m going to make millions and so are you, because as usual you’ll have an autographed first edition, which Les can tell you is worth a bundle. Sadly, instead of the cash, you’ll probably take a credit and spend it on a syringe that was shared by Keith Richards and Lou Reed. Oh, Bruce. You could’ve been set for life.
But what if I decide to pawn the syringe for one tenth of what I paid for it and then come back in six months to reclaim it after losing my pawn ticket? How do you think I should behave in the shop
under those circumstances?
You do what the guy did when they wouldn’t give him a cent for his cracked 1980s tube TV: yell, “I’m a somebody!” And then, showing your class ring, add that you were All American. Then, see if they want to buy your class ring.
And if they don’t buy it should I make an insulting remark (in which every other word is an obscenity that has to bleeped) and then be escorted out of the shop by a security guard while saying variations of the phrase “Don’t you touch me?”
I think you know the answer to that is “yes.”
Trust your instincts more often.
Do it! I’ll promise to try to read everyday. All my meetings are interfering with my blog reading, so give me a reason to skip one everyday!
What!! A (practically) unsolicited comment on my under-the-radar blog post. So excited.
My promise: I will do everything in my power to get you to skip a meeting every day.
Especially if they’re meetings about setting meetings, which are the worst kind. I’ve been to lots of those.
Um…I have a question…does this mean you’ll be sending less emails? And if so, is this your strategy to get us to start paying for them?
For being my one comment on my secret/under-the-radar first ever “daily” post, you still get free email! I should’ve announced that there was a contest, so other people would have a chance to win. Well, lucky you.
xo
Lucky me, indeed! Where’s today’s email?????