OK, I have two things to confess.
Jesus, I already hate this post. I hate when bloggers say they’re going to confess something and you get all excited for something juicy, like “I make out with my dog and I don’t just mean first base” or “My real hobby isn’t painting watercolor landscapes, it’s shoplifting Lanvin handbags from Barney’s” and then it’s just some boring, self-serving business confession like “Sometimes I forget my true brilliance and feel like a fraud.”
(I pointed this out in my last post, or email, I forget which, which makes me hate it even more. But I’m leaving it in.)
So, I wrote my last post about how sad it is when people set out to make money from their passion, say guitar playing, and instead of ever achieving that, they end up pushing aside guitar playing in favor of teaching OTHER guitar players how to make money from guitar playing. Without ever having made a dime from their own guitar playing. Does that make sense? If not, my last post explained it pretty well.
The first confession is, I’ve kind of done that. Yes, that thing that I said was sad.
Not teach people how to do something I never figured out myself, so much as put off the thing I want to do because I haven’t figured out how it will make bank.
I’ve always had this fantasy of getting paid to write emails to my friends. Obviously, that’s not going to happen. My friends are used to getting my emails for free. They’re spoiled creatures, which is my fault, because I set a precedent.
I should’ve charged them by the email – or maybe by the word? – from the get-go. Condition them to pony up.
But: what if I could make my blog the same kind of writing I do when I’m writing an email? And do it every day?
Every time I put that idea out there, a friend says “do it!” Because though my friends are spoiled and expect me to write them emails for free, they’re also very encouraging.
And I say, “Yeah! I’m gonna do it!” And I get all excited about making my art. Living it. Shipping it, as Seth Godin says. (That’s a foreshadowing of the second confession)
And then, I start wondering how I’m going to deliver it to my list. Do I email the whole post to them every day? Do I email a digest once a week, with links? Do I just put it up and let them find it, and make it America’s Best Kept Secret?
How many people are really interested in what I have to say on a daily basis? I count 2: my mom and dad. I don’t call them enough, so they make do with my blog.
And then there’s this thought:
How many people will unsubscribe because my blog doesn’t do what everyone else’s blog does, which is give them a tip they can immediately pretend they’re going to use?
If you’ve spent any time in Tha OBL (Online Business Land), you’ve heard over and over that you’re supposed to “deliver massive value” and “make your blogs actionable.” This mandate has been stopping me for 5 years from just writing whatever, which is what I really want to write.
I don’t always want to bother with a great title, or easy-to-read sub-heads, or a Call To Action. If I have to think up those things, then I don’t want to write.
Do I want to make millions from my blog? You bet!
And will writing every day, and writing about the useless crap I want to write about, make those millions? No!
But does not writing every day make the millions? No! So note to self: shut the f up and just write some dumb shit.
This whole head game is like if I wanted to take up photography, and never took a single photo because I couldn’t figure out what kind of frame would be best for my photos, and what gallery I should approach to represent me, and what will be the motif of my first solo show.
This is also about my last blog post. I made a joke about entrepreneurs whacking off to Seth Godin. Well, I’m a little obsessed with him right now. Not to the point of whacking off, because ladies don’t do that, but I do take long walks down Greenwich Street (no one’s ever on Greenwich Street, so low risk of bumping into someone I know when sweat is cascading down my face) and listen to Podcast interviews with Seth Godin the whole way.
I have to keep stopping and rewinding, because he’s so inspiring that my imagination starts exploring all the great ways I’m going to act on his inspiration, and what an artistic hero I’ll be…and then to the strong possibility that I’ll do what I usually do, which is excite myself out of doing anything and just get home and nap instead of writing.
Well. Not today. I’m back from my walk and writing this post.
Seth says he’s productive because he doesn’t watch TV, he doesn’t go to meetings, and he does things he’s afraid of.
How about 2 out of 3?
Life wouldn’t be worth living without TV, but I already avoid meetings, and I can certainly start doing something I’m afraid of. In fact, 2 things.
2 THINGS I’M AFRAID OF DOING THAT I’M GOING TO DO ANYWAY
1) Next week, I’m getting eyelash extensions. I know this doesn’t sound scary, but I’ve heard they can make your real lashes fall out, and then you get into a cycle of having to retouch them every 2-3 weeks. My friend Steph says that’s a myth, but I’m still a little afraid of the upkeep. And I’m doing it anyway! Are you proud?
2) I’m afraid of promising I’m going to write every day.
So here goes. I’m going to write every day.
And not worry about whether anyone will like or even read it. Or whether I’m repeating something I said before. Or whether it’s “actionable.” Or whether I group things in threes. Notice I’ve grouped them in twos when every blog expert agrees that 3 is the magic number?
This is what I’m saying. If I have to worry about shit like threes, I’ll never write.
How long will this go on for and what does “every day” mean?
Who knows. Even if I just blog today and tomorrow, I can say I tried writing every day. But I’m aiming for a month, just for starters. Vacation might be tricky. Going to the Aeolian Islands in Italy, where I expect the sun and anchovies will be strong and the wifi weak. (Take that slogan, Aeolian Islands. First one’s free.)
Weekends might be optional. I’m starting today, a Saturday, because I had the fire in me.
OK, that’s all for now. It’s already 6 and I was supposed to spend the day doing work that I haven’t even started. So. Bye.
Comment if you want. There’s my call to action.
Note: other posts will be much shorter. I think. Why am I telling you that, you’re not going to read them. Or are you?