Last week, I treated myself to some heavy-duty, delightfully effective Tylenol Cold and Flu.
Man, do I love Western medicine! Praise Duane Reade. Blessed be CVS.
My one complaint is the damn packaging that breaks off your fingernails. “Peel from this corner” is the biggest tease of all time. Why don’t they let us go through all our earthly aggravation at once and seal headphones and cold medicine in the same package?
But once you get the f*cking pills out — I do it by puncturing the thick paper backing with the little scissors that my husband uses for nose hairs — they are a miracle.
You really feel the active ingredients pulsing through your lungs and nasal passages, just like the little red arrows in the commercial promise.
The sinuses un-swell, the fever breaks, the coughing stops, and I zonk out almost like I’m on that stuff that killed Michael Jackson.
Now, what I want to know is, where’s the pill for what I have this week?
I ask because what was a 48-hour thing with fever and chills and a severe, unproductive cough has segued into a lingering thing with mild, phlegmy cough and severe unproductivity.
And according to autocorrect, unproductivity isn’t a real word. But it’s a real problem.
I come down with a violent case of it every Spring. And some other seasons, but it hits me hardest and most predictably just as the trees on West 12th Street are starting to bud.
Every time, I take to googling, “Can pollen make you creatively unmotivated?”
Yes, says WebMD, pollen can make you tired but there’s no conclusive evidence that lets me blame the actual season for my seasonal affliction, which I’d call the Don’t-Want-To Flu.
I don’t want to prepare my workshop that’s in 2 weeks.
I don’t want to blog.
I don’t want to write the copywriting tips I could rattle off in my sleep.
I don’t want to “look at our cals” and find a date to have dinner.
I don’t want to read that great book I just saw reviewed in the Times.
I don’t want to create.
I want to consume.
Consume, consume, consume. Maybe the disease I have is consumption?
I’d call it laziness but can one really laze this hard?
In the last week, I finished a full season of each of the following shows: House of Cards, Broad City, Difficult People, and American Crime. Plus, all that’s aired so far of Better Call Saul.
I have a semi-permanent knuckle mark on my right cheek, from resting it on my right arm. Because the odalisque position was invented for binge-watching from an iPad.
It’s not all TV. At least I get up and move around. I go for long walks and consume podcasts.
I’ll pick business/ self-development-type interviews that remind me to create before I consume. To put myself out there. To help people, share my voice, add value, solve problems, be vulnerable, give generously, live out loud, bust through upper limits, risk failure, be a part of the conversation, be remarkable, express my passions, take actions aligned with my purpose, walk my talk.
How about I just walk my walk, so I can cue up iTunes and listen to someone else do all that high-energy stuff instead?
I repeat: WHERE IS THE PILL I NEED NOW?
I’m hoping writing this blog post will break my fever of compulsive do-nothing-ness.
If so, I’ll let you know.
If not, I won’t let you know. Because I won’t feel like it.
Now you.
Do you get stricken with the Don’t-Want-To Flu?
What’s your pill?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
ps – There should be a 5k Race To Cure Laziness. And no one will show up. They won’t even sign up, because ugh, getting sponsors. Deal later. Is there a new episode of The Good Wife?
I currently suffering from this affliction!!! That is how I found your blog! So at least my “Don’t Wanna Do Sh#t” flu helped me find something awesome!! I also suffer from a Real Housewives addiction too!
Okay, now I am going back to writing copy— but I have a timer set so I can come back and consume more of your blog! Thanks!
I suffer from this way too often and for too long.. If you ever find that pill, I need it!
In response to your question, I think we have to wait another week for a new episode of The Good Wife. I keep hoping you’ll write something on the decline of that show, with plenty of speculation on the behind-the-scenes shenanigans that appear to have ruined it. It used to be so smart, and now it’s like Charles and Diana in the early 90s: everyone knows the thing is dead, but they’re going through the motions because people are still watching.
I have the same spring fatigue and can’t quite believe you motivated me to comment.
Just skimming all those long comments makes me feel incredibly lazy. My two cents is that you don’t sweat it. Happens every year, you know it will pass, so don’t beat yourself up. You work your ass off (and even if you’re not now, you did in order to get to where you are) so go ahead and binge. Work will always be there and life’s short–you gotta squeeze in all the bad tv you can before you go. Also, how ’bout listening to something other than all those self-help podcasts? If you haven’t tried Dinner Party Download, check it out. Those guys are funny.
Read my mind miss Belgray. I’m having such an extreme case of I-don’t-want-to that I’ve even started re-watching tv shows – because that would mean my brain would actually have to do some work.
I’ve been watching ‘The 100’ where young attractive actors wrestle with morality in the newly frontiered earth jungle. It’d be like if Shackelton had only picked models to go with him.
I think writing this comment has somewhat helped me out of my do nothing flu, so thanks for writing!
I also suffer from this affliction. I think it’s a result of school-imprinting. I still feel like summer holidays are just around the corner so, like, can we just get these next two/three months out of the way?
Mind you, the I-don’t-want-to-flu can also strike in the Fall. Summer, too, sometimes. There’s also the fact that I’m 58 now…
Laura I also blamed it on my cold… I won’t talk about the fact that it ended last week because the lazy effects have lasted way more than that. On the other hand it could also be this blasted NY weather that can’t make up it’s mind. haha And so here we all are binge watching our fave, least fave, or any show really just to avoid getting back to business. Ok… i guess I’ll get back to biz now 😉 Love your blogs! #youAreHilarious
I have this problem big time! But it’s constant consuming of information! Always reading multiple books at once, blogs, magazine articles, Google research, emails, reading reading reading . It’s my drug. I do it cos I enjoy it, I do it to cover emotions, I do it to distract myself, & most especially when I’m procrastinating when I should be writing!! I read so much there’s no time for TV! It’s my addiction.
I think it’s the delicate combination of SO MANY GREAT SHOWS STARTING BACK UP as well as the promise of brunch-on-the-sidewalk weather. We all turn into children who can’t sleep because DISNEY WORLD IS TOMORROW!!! We’re all just waitin for Disney to happen to us. NO MORE SCHOOL! NO MORE SCHOOL!!!!
but seriously, how great was house of cards?!?!?!
Yep, me too. Had to take a big rest because I had pneumonia – now finding it very difficult to get back on the horse. My consumption buddies are Hay Day, the whole six seasons of Downton and the finale twice, and Game Of Thrones.
Nice. I’ve had that for too long. I think it can become a chronic illness that sets in, so you hardly notice it (except when you’re consuming all that stuff you mentioned in that beautiful buzz word paragraph.) But that just mostly makes you feel guilty.
Actually, I think the more I read all that motivating stuff the more I think I’m actually doing it. Plus, I like to comment (especially when no one else does. By the way, it’s a great way to get visibility because there are a bunch of big time authors with blogs with no comments.) Anyway, commenting is kind of my placebo. I can always think of a comment (and long ones) but for some reason to actually write a blog post, well, that takes too much effort.
It’s kind of like that thing where if you tell everyone you’re writing a book, you get the same endorphin rush as if you were actually doing it. So I’ve been living off that drug for years. Yeah, my book is mostly written, (has been for years) but there’s a bunch of reorganizing and editing to do, so it’s kind of amorphous, and that’s why I keep putting it off. (There I go again. Now that I told you about my book, I don’t need to work on it for a while. mmm feels good.)
So, that’s my suggestion. When you get the DWT disease, just make comments everywhere and reply to all your subscription emails. It’s much easier than producing something of value, and you’ll make more friends and connections.
By the way, my oldest daughter was famous (or infamous) for saying “I don’t want to!” when she was little. It’s kind of a family saying with the aunts and uncles.
(Today she’s just a stubborn teenager.)
(but actually a good one. I can’t really complain.)
Thanks for the pick me up! When I read your emails and posts, it’s like the cobwebs are swept off my brain. They help me get out of my do nothing state for sure.
I’m in the early stages of recovery from a chronic, months-long case of the DWT flu. I think the thing that helped me recover most was starting to have sessions with clients again, just free ones, but they reminded me why I do what I do (I rock at it and it fires me up).
But man. It was a rough ride for a while there. I didn’t even watch new shows; instead, I re-watched The Office and Parks and Rec and 30 Rock like eleven times each (yes, the entire run, so what?) and became more familiar with the sartorial repertoire of the Duchess of Cambridge than anyone has a reason to be.
Now that I think of it, I might have had You Can’t Make Me Mono.
This happens to me about once a month for a week straight (ahem…my red days), and I’ve found that it’s best just to let it happen. Instead of pushing against it, I take naps and play computer games or whatever unproductive things I want to do. For long bouts of the I-don’t-want-to- flu, I’d do exactly what you’re doing – one small action to get the train rolling on the tracks. If that doesn’t work, take a nap. 🙂
Yessssss!!! I thought it was just me! Come Spring, I can’t even be bothered to cook or eat! I feel like a little girl, crossing my arms and stumping my feet to the floor shouting “I don’t want to, I don’t want to!”
And oh my, binge watching… been there… but can’t be bothered to choose a series anymore! (or read, ain’t nobody got time for that!)
If you ever come up with that pill, pleaaaaase sell it to me!
And thank you for being honest and open in your blog posts, I love them!
You are not alone. We are legion, but none of us want to reach out to each other because effort.
It’s like reading doesn’t even count, though that’s a form of consuming, because the brain has to be too active.
Thank you for coming by and commenting! It makes me want to keep being open and honest, though I want to keep watching TV more.
Wow. That’s very weird. There are no comments yet. I’m never ever the first one to comment. Everyone must have the same affliction as you! Luckily I live in the Southern Hemisphere (Australia) so it is Autumn right now, not Spring. So you get one comment.
….although, I must say I’m suffering from a similar problem right now… thinking it must be astrogical as well as seasonal? Or maybe it’s just post-Easter-chocolate-gorging malaise?
Have you watched ‘Awkward’? Teen trash but somehow so delicious and addictive… like a Cadbury cream egg. So wrong yet so right.
Happy consuming most lovely one. Thank you for making us all feel better about ourselves xxx It’s very refreshing!
Oh, well that explains why you’re the first comment — I hit publish at an odd, Australia-friendly time. Normally I wait till morning if I write one at night, but I had to put something out immediately and break my do-nothing spell.
Maybe it is astrological. What sign are you? I’m a Scorpio, which means I do nothing more intensely than most people do nothing.
I haven’t watched Awkward but I’m always looking for something more to consumeconsumeconsume. Happy Fall to you! xo
Oh you must publish at night more often! …then I get first comment AND I get a reply. #starstruck.
Speaking of stars, I’m a Taurus. So I do nothing more bullishly (i.e. very slowly and sometimes scarily) than most? Have a beautiful week xxxx