Emails I hate:
– Client emails asking for revisions, especially when those revisions are ones they could’ve done themselves in less time than it took to ask for them (“Can you please change the word ‘digital’ to ‘online’ and capitalize the network name at the top of the script? Also, I believe there is a period missing at the end of the last sentence. Please insert one.”)
I usually respond to these by writing a long paragraph about how much time client would save by typing these things right into the script, time the client could spend doing her other favorite thing: scheduling meetings about meetings. And then I delete it all and send the requested revision.
– “Biz tip” newsletters that are consistently boring but I can’t bring myself to unsubscribe from because I have a fantasy that I’ll one day implement or “take massive action” and make the “7 figures” implied by most of the subject lines.
Emails in “Keep As New” Hell:
These are the ones I mark as unread for way too long, and then have to ignore the red circle that says I have new emails, because I don’t.
– Anything with a question. “Does Thursday work for you?” “When can we have dinner?” “How much would this cost?” “Coffee?” “What were your capital gains this year? Please let me know by Monday.” These are a part of being alive, and not answering them means no business or social life, or sometimes going to jail for tax evasion. But they’re hard!
– Novel-length ramble about your tragic life, which requires something sympathetic (or, now more trendy, empathetic) and not too short, or it’ll look uncaring
Emails I love and open right away:
– Screen grab or forward making fun of someone’s business promotion. Especially if it’s for a women’s “Juicy Abundance” retreat and there’s a sexually suggestive pic of the leader with a horse.
– Screen grab or forward or comment making fun of anyone or anything, period
– “Dinner tonight? I’ll make the res” from my husband
– Overheard dialog between my parents, reported by my sister (“Where’s the remote?” “In your hand.” “Which hand? Please be specific.”)
– Compliments.
– Better yet, compliments that say “You’re welcome. Don’t reply.”
– Rude unsubscribes, because they’re funny. (“Reason: It’s junk mail.”)
– [NAME] sent you money by Paypal
– Your return has been processed, a refund was issued to your credit card.
Now you.
How do you categorize your emails?
What stays “keep as new” forever in your inbox?
What’s your dream email?
My categories are 1. instant thumb swipe to trash 2. Maybe later ( potentially useful info, but I’ll decide that later) and 3. Happy, Happy a real person!
I use Mailbox, so I can manage all of the categories and still get a pretty picture for an empty Inbox.
Compliments? Rare but sometimes. My quintessential compliments
are in reading the creative and funny stuff from you, Laura, and from
Marian & from your husbands and from your niece/nephew Samson & Elena. I feel proud! Not that I did it, nor Mom, but the pride is a
manifestation of “naches”. With love,
Dad
Reading your comments, I’m quite sure that a lot of it came from you. ;o)
Aw, you’re cute, dad. Thanks for shepping all the naches. Which autocorrect wants to turn into shopping the nachos.
I think I’m about 90% good on my email subject lines to you. I’m pretty sure the 1st one way back when probably said, “I love you!”, or something along those lines. Check! Opened.
I failed in the question area, but then, got your attention with the word “fuck!”, so I’d say, if it’s worded as a question, throw in a shit or a fuck to grab you.
My previously mentioned childhood OCD surfaces when I see people’s phones and the email app has a red “1007” or some insane number like that. Mine NEVER has a red number for long, or I’d have to be medicated. If I can’t get to it within 12 hours, it’s deleted.
Yes, your emails ALWAYS get opened. They’re flattering.
I can’t handle seeing someone else’s red circle. I want to tap/ click on/ lick it. My brain thinks it’s for me.
The editing thing? Totally. (WHY?) The unread emails and the hate ones and the love ones? Ditto, ditto, ditto. Especially the “juicy” business plans. At this point, I think I’m just gonna let you know if you ever write a post that *doesn’t* feel like it was plucked wholly formed out of my brain. Otherwise I’m gonna look (more) like a creepy stalker.
I LOVE creepy Belgray stalkers! Wanna be friends?
I love creepy stalkers. If you have a shrine to me in a dripping basement, with cutouts from magazines, a bunch of candles, and a pair of underwear that isn’t mine but you imagine is, all the better. Unless there’s someone chained up and screaming in the background. Specifically, me. Never mind, don’t stalk, it’s getting too weird.
My inbox has 901 unread messages in it, and I’m proud of that because it’s less than 1,000.
They are all things I don’t want to forget about: biz tip messages I’m pretending I’ll read in a 4-hour binge one day, sales emails from Madewell from last month, long videos my friends want me to watch, emails to myself that are a list of all the tabs I had open when I was finally forced to restart my computer, just so I can hold onto them forever.
And then there are the scariest ones: the unread ones with a little star next to them that says, “Randle, you have to answer this TODAY.”
::gulp::
The worst thing I do with window tabs is keep open sales videos — the kind that are so Internet Marketing hardcore that they don’t let you fast forward or rewind — because I think I’ll come back and watch the rest later. And who’s going to close and restart something they already watched half of, to have to watch that half again? No thanks, I don’t like Frank Kern THAT much.
I know why those “your return has been processed” emails – because you rarely manage to follow through on returns. See! I’ve been paying attention.
This post is perfect for me because my inboxes (personal & business) are disasters and sources of much irritation. I realllllyyyy need to clean them out. Preferably before the beginning of a spanking new year.
p.s. Those revision request emails from clients….Love them for giving you and your abilities so much credit however, that’s just hard core.
Enjoy your time off.
You ARE paying attention! You get extra credit.
My inbox is down to 1 right now. That one email requires me to look something up, which I don’t feel like doing. So it stays.
Oh! This is fun!
Right now my dream email comes in a philanthropic capacity. I have this hope that at some point this year I’ll get an email from my two favey fave doctor’s at MGH that says
“Hey Licia, Because of your generous philanthropic donations to our research this year you and Jed get to come to our annual dinner and you’ll be sitting with us because we’re awesome and so are you!”
I know, I know, giving isn’t about recognition but that would be an awesome email to get – Jed and I haven’t gone to any fancy schmancy things in a while…it’s time.
xoxo
I say it’s time to get your fancy schmancy on! Create your OWN fundraising dinner in honor of whomever you want! How about a celebration of Licia and her health dinner? I’m sure that everyone who loves you would shine up their shoes for that one!
Get on it girl!
If giving isn’t about recognition, why are there so many hospital and museum wings named after donors? I think they didn’t get that memo.
I like Lane’s idea. Also, you should write to those doctors and say you want to be invited. xoxo