Last week, I wrote a post on Facebook that I immediately wanted to delete.
It was a clever little finger wag about grammar.
I hate clever. I love dumb, I love funny, but clever is yuck. Clever is “Get it? Get it?” It’s a pursed-lip giggle with fanned fingers touched to pearls, in an “Oh my, I’m a hoot” gesture. The gang sign of self-satisfied punsters and Dorothy Parker wannabes.
The post was this:
Get it? Get it? The correct grammar would’ve been “You’re not doing yourself any favors with that one constant grammar mistake. If you’re wondering what mistake, I’m talking to you.” (Actually, the correct grammar should probably be “which mistake,” not “what mistake.” )
More and more, I see people switching your and you’re, writing, “Your welcome.” “Your pretty.” “I like you’re smile.” “Your a moron.”
And yup, I judge. I think:
“What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they know or care?”
Sure, we all make mistakes, especially on social media. But I feel it’s every person’s duty to burn with shame when they realize they’ve hit “enter” without noticing a typo.
Well, clearly, I’m not alone.
The people who got my little joke also care, and lots of them clicked “like” and commented. Over a hundred likes without a hot selfie!
Which made me think, OK, I won’t delete it.
Because if lots of people like it, that means it’s good and I’m good (and pretty and popular and worthy).
Everyone added their most hated mistakes. “What about irregardless?” “Supposably!” “BETWEEN YOU AND I!” It was a grammar fiend’s pet-peeve party.
But one guy, someone I barely know who friended me after a house-dance class, hated on my post.
He wrote:
“No one cares. I’m sure you struggle in something”
Bolstered by all my likes, I replied, “Look how many people DO care!”
And he came back with, “I’m sure you can not do math or struggle to read a map. Get off your high horse”
I was going to write back that actually, I was in the advanced math class in high school and I have GPS on my phone that even tells you how to avoid traffic, so my map skills aren’t an issue.
And, that I like my high horse. Sure, I’d be a disaster riding an actual horse. (He’s right, I struggle with something.) But I’m super comfy on this pretty filly of personal superiority. Giddyap!
I like feeling strident. And, I see grammar as different from map reading or math because it’s how we communicate. It’s a big part of how we present ourselves to the world. Right?
Plus, this guy who wrote “No one cares”? His profile pic is shirtless.
All pecs. He has pro-life posts on his timeline. He once posted, “If she brings you beer in fishnets she’s a keeper.” You know what I’m saying here? Other than which DJ is spinning the best house beats, we’re probably not going to agree on much.
But then I started thinking: Am I being totally arbitrary?
I’ve decided it’s fine to break some rules, and idiotic to break others.
After all, part of what I do for work is teaching people to write like they talk. I encourage them to toss out the formal structures they learned in school so their writing sounds more conversational. I do that myself. All over this blog entry, I’m taking a piss on what I learned in English class. Sentence fragment much?
What I object to is when people use incorrect grammar to try and sound smarter — like, using “myself” when it’s not called for. As in, “Laura and myself are going to the movies.”
Or, when they break the rules unintentionally and without purpose. The your/you’re thing. Its/it’s. And, of course: “Are you going to there house? They’res going to be free shrimp their!”
It looks ignorant. Sloppy. Uneducated.
“Yes,” my friend Victoria agreed. We were talking about it on the phone.
“But not everybody is educated. Not everyone had the same opportunities. And maybe they feel bad about it. I thought the post was really clever [ouch], but — don’t be offended by this — it was also a little bit ‘Brearley.'”
Triple ouch.
Brearley was my all-girls’ private high school. Vic knows and loves my Brearley friends, but has also observed — accurately — that we can get a little judge-y and prim. It’s our legacy. (Along with a school song titled “By Truth and Toil.”)
Vic pointed out that language is an evolving thing.
True. If it weren’t, we’d all be talking like Chaucer. “Checketh out mine kale salad! Forsooth, ’twas delicious.”
And, social media is casual. Maybe it’s OK to drop the rules when we’re just chillin’ online.
Maybe it doesn’t matter how you spell, doesn’t matter if you say “between you and I,” doesn’t matter if you put apostrophes in ridiculous places (or ridiculous place’s), if everyone gets (get’s) what you mean.
Maybe the lot of us who laugh at people’s bad grammar are like a bunch of old grandmas clucking about the outrageous fashions these days. “Obscene! In my day, a lady didn’t show her ankles!”
So maybe I’ll get off my high horse. Or maybe not.
“But misspelling your and you’re looks so moronic,” I insisted to Vic. I couldn’t get away from it.
“Right,” she said. “But maybe no one cares.”
Now you.
Do you care? Should you? Should I?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
Hi,
I would like to add some perspective. I was an editor, and very meticulous about grammar, word choice – annoyed to read texts that couldn’t convey the information in a proper fashion. Then I moved to the US and had to write in a language that is not my own. And boy, did I fell from my high horse. All of a sudden I was writing worse than my worse contributors. I was feeling incompetent, overwhelmed and definitely moronic about something that was my forte: writing.
At the end of the day, it is quite naive to think of grammar in a grandiose way and it reinforces the narcissism of small differences. At least this is the lesson I learned.
Wow, you hit a hot topic here. I may be considered a grammar snob, although I’m not always correct myself. But I don’t mind being corrected. Because the bottom line is that grammar is necessary for proper COMMUNICATION! I’m retired now, but I did work in an office and can’t tell you how many email memos I received during my work years that were, because of lousy grammar or misspellings, virtually indecipherable! (I wish I had kept some samples — you truly would not believe them!) Silly me. If I were running a business, I’d really like to make sure the people who worked for me could actually understand each other. So using good grammar and spelling is not just about feeling superior,
The intention and method of correction matter to me. Sometimes people correct your grammar to put you in your place and hurt your feelings. That’s just aggression.
“But not everybody is educated,” your friend says. That’s true. And as a teacher, I can testify that many of the uneducated are college graduates. Have we really reached the point where we believe that distinguishing “your” from “you’re” is just for the elite, and caring about it just for snobs? Only one of my grandparents graduated from high school, but all four would have been bewildered by today’s contempt for accuracy, competence, and grace.
I care! I care so much that I scrolled for an internet eternity to get to this comment box. I care so much that when a new male suitor sendeth a text and fucks up the your/you’re usage, he becomes a little less lay-able.
Maybe high horses aren’t for everyone, but this feels more like a saw horse, and it’s hard to build anything of substance without one. Ride on darling.
Thanks Laura. Love this post, your perspective and the wealth of knowledge that you provide. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate grammar and writing ( that’s why I signed up for your kick ass course with Marie). I’m a work in progress though. I only finished eighth grade and was strung out on crack. I was too busy trying to survive to be bothered with sentence structure. Grammar, writing and overall “learning,” wasn’t high on my list of priorities If ya know what I mean.
Regardless of having crappy copy and grammar skills, I’ve done well for myself because of the wealth of knowledge I’ve gained from life and my will to learn. We all have skills, gifts and talent. Some of us have had opportunities to bring them out, and many have not. I think it all boils down to having compassion and a message of hope. I see many perfectionist and so called “experts” shamming people’s intelligence and grammar online and it only makes people feel stupid. I teach many spiritual principles and tools that I believe are important to highly successful people but if I think ” God this guys a millionaire and can’t even find two minutes to meditate so he can feel better, ” then I start to believe he’s obviously not serious or willing to change his life. There is alway something deeper going on and I never know what it is until I put myself in another persons shoes and ask WHY they’re not doing what I believe will help them succeed in life or business.
I sent a quick text to a customer in the car last week and said, “Your welcome”
and the minute I sent it I was sorry because I did feel like a moron. Btw, I went
to public schools in NYC. I cringe when a post goes out with a misspelled word
or a typo. I think it’s a reminder for all of us to just SLOW DOWN.
Oh, please. Congrats on posting it. The amounts of “your” I get is going to drive me to insanity. Not really, the subway crazies will but anyway, who cares about a shirtless guy’s comment? What I do on Facebook from time to time is scroll down and delete all shirtless men, just because. They usually come with a toilet seat in the background. ha!
We all make mistakes, but “your” is out of control. I’ve pointed it out jokingly to some guy friends but they keep doing it. For the love of…something, it takes two minutes to learn the differnence. 🙂
And I tried to fix the difference but my fast fingers were just too fast!
I totally agree with all you said, though sometimes I hit “send” before checking what stupid spellcheck has decided what I meant to say.
I do have to say that in high school, many years ago, I went from getting an A+ on an English assignment to an A because I used contractions..really?
I care. I care because grammar isn’t there to be annoying. It’s there to aid communication and avoid miscommunication and keep things chatting along smoothly. It matters. It means we don’t get the wrong end of the stick so often. No more, no less. And I think it’s important that a reader easily understands the correct meaning or what the writer meant to communicate.
Okay Rachel. I’ve decided to try the Tiniest Thai. Looking forward to your red basil sauce.
Haha! Thanks for providing the entertainment Peter!
I like the cross chatter too, but sometimes there’s none. Bummer.
I’m not only interested in Laura, I stopped stalking her a while ago, now I’m on to her followers. Some of them are pretty damn funny!
(I didn’t really post at 2:30 am. Some of us don’t live in the fabulous NYC and live on that other coast.)
I try. I try. Thanks for noticing!
At least we’re not stuck at a party with these people.
Okay, Laura, I’ve tried to introduce a little cross-talk into your comments section. To my way of thinking, it could use some.
Besides, I’m shocked that all these incredible people aren’t more interested in each other. All they want to do is talk about you.
I visit all their sites and read their blog posts and sign up for their eletters. They’re great!
Of course, the WORST thing is to make a grammatical mistake while you’re correcting another person’s grammatical mistake.
That just turns you into a fool, Fool! (Who said that?)
Well, this one struck a cord. I liked the post and thought it was clever and cute. It modeled the point you were making.
I make this mistake all the time, not because I don’t know the right way, but because I write by ear. So I also make the mistake of writing “their” when I mean “there.”
I try to correct all these mistakes when I go over something I’ve written. Usually, I catch them, but sometimes I don’t.
But here’s the thing:
I do care. I care so much that I don’t like to see language used to bludgeon someone or make them feel stupid.
Language, including correct grammar, is a beautiful thing; it shouldn’t be used as an instrument of gratuitous violence.
Some mistakes make me wince, so sometimes, I’ll mock the mistake maker. More often, though, I’ll just let the person know he made a mistake. Even if he’s a girl.
And then, only once in a while. Or is it once in awhile? You know, this South American country is often spelled “Columbia,” which is actually an old name for America.
The real spelling is “Colombia.”
Grammar mistakes make the writer look illiterate or worse, careless toward the reader. But it’s not worth breaking someone’s nose over them.
I care. Where would be if everyone scrapped grammar rules? It’s one thing to understand good grammar and write casually. It’s another thing when all standards of communication break down because it’s accepted that good grammar is optional.
Not that I care, but you’re missing a “we” in your second sentence.
I agree with you, Laura! Sorry, I strongly disagree with your friend Victoria when she said: ““But not everybody is educated. Not everyone had the same opportunities. And maybe they feel bad about it. I thought the post was really clever [ouch], but — don’t be offended by this — it was also a little bit ‘Brearley.’”
I am a foreigner who came to USA just 13 years ago. I learned English on my own, no classes, no courses (under communism in my school years, we were only allowed to learn Russian, none of those “imperialistic languages). And trust me, it’s not that easy to learn another language when you’re over 30.
Despite the fact that I didn’t have the same opportunities as “Brearley girls”, am uneducated in English schools, and I may feel bad about it – trying to avoid mistakes in grammar should be the same like trying not to leave a house with just one sock on (unless it’s your fashion statement).
If someone feels bad about it, even more reason to be grateful if someone else points out commonly made mistakes! After all, you didn’t mock someone directly. I pay attention to these posts because I am far from speaking and writing perfect English. And I mistake effort for afford often.
I happen to believe that how you speak, write and present yourself is part of your personality. And if you don’t care about “looking stupid to others” than that’s your high horse too”. Fine! (BTW, my expensive colleague graduate stepdaughter, who was born American and teaches in elementary school, makes such a screaming grammar mistakes, it blows my mind).
It’s all about how much you really care, not how much education you have.
I say, keep it coming. It makes sense – that’s what your business is all about!
Where are you from originally, Vera?
There is no excuse for bad grammar. I think it’s a generational thing. I’ve talked to my younger sister and her friends (these are folks in their 20s) about the whole your/you’re fiasco and they absolutely do not care, and not because they don’t know the difference, but because they think “your” covers the bases. It drives me up the wall.
No, you stay on that horse.
Take it from someone who can’t do math and struggles to read a map: grammar does matter and people do care, you shirtless pec machine.
I’ve actually not bought things from people because I found “your” related typos on their websites/Facebook posts. Ugh. I can’t!
I’ve sat and considered whether my friends were as smart as I’d previously thought they were.
Does that make me an asshole? Most definitely. But I is what I is. And what I is is someone whom likes grammar.
Yeah… I didn’t get the Facebook post. But does that make me unclever (I know that’s not a real word, I just don’t like the word stupid.)
I am not accurate in spelling or punctuations, but doesn’t my message, my words, my videos still have a right to be said?
I think so.
It makes me think of Marie Forleo, ”share the gifts only you have”. My gift doesn’t have to be 100% accurate or perfect. Just shared.
And I am more than okay with that 🙂
I care, but only because I have a low tolerance for my own imperfections. When other people get it wrong, I get annoyed… but it’s not about them at all. It’s not even about grammar.
The more work I do around patience and self-love, the more I’m about to scroll by a “your pretty” without having it spoil my moment.
I commented on this particular FB thread with you, so when I saw that you wrote about it I giggled my face off. My face is on the floor right now, still giggling 🙂
Mostly, I just wanted to poke fun at the dude for taking your silly post so seriously.
I find it more irksome when people take comedy seriously than when they tell you your pretty.
Hey Laura,
I have this conversation with myself and my team daily and am thrilled that you wrote about it. Love the post, love that you checked your privilege (#progressive), loved the way it’s written.
Personally, and as a content marketer evaluating how much time to spend proofreading, I’ve started asking myself what the point of grammar is in the first place and came to two conclusions.
1. To help convey information clearly
2. To show personality
Sometimes we need commas in series and sometimes a well-placed colon makes a sentence easier to read. Great. Grammar on. Conversely, terrible grammar can be distracting. I work in a fast-paced environment, so if I miss a comma, or use a “your/you’re” incorrectly, NBD, but if my readers stop in the middle of a sentence because, I, dont, Know, How, To0, right, That’s a problem.
As far as personality, there’s huge differences between a text from a friend/honey boo that reads “Hey” “Hey!” and “Hey.”, right?
Being relaxed with grammar rules also gives off a vibe that you’re relatable, chill & having a conversation, which is great for funny writing and making certain audiences adore you.
That said, I probably don’t want to post a completely unpolished blog post with terrible grammar if I’m trying to convince someone that I’m trustworthy. Imagine a doctor sending this email: You’re test results are in.
That’s a little scarier than your tweet, huh?
Anyway, that’s how I think about it. Back to the grind.
High-five and out!
I, too, am the product of a private school education so proper grammar was drilled into me. My Mom and I used to bond by sharing grammar mistakes and typos we had spotted recently, laughing at the idiocy around us. She then took to social media with her judgments, broadcasting an air of pretentiousness that started to smell very foul and just got annoying. It turned me off completely and I vowed to simply model the best grammar I can. Those who care are attracted to intelligent writing. We notice it and support it, no broadcasting required.
It totally bugs me. I’m also from the South and firmly believe Y’all is a legitimate word. People screw that one up all the flipping time. I’m trying to cut some slack though.
And just to play devil’s advocate, perhaps it’s really only women and prolly (that’s slang and it’s spelled correctly) gay men who care so much. I mean, look at these comments. #JustSayin
“Checketh out mine kale salad! Forsooth, ’twas delicious.”
With that, my lady, you wonneth the internet on this day.
Part of me understands how it looks. If the mistake or ignorance is in a formal post or book then it is up to you how you feel about that person. You shouldn’t bring it up unless you’re a friend.
But in social media the point is to communicate with people. If you know what the person meant let it be. People post in social media quickly. Most people don’t edit their tweets.
Calling them out is no different than calling them ugly in public. Quit judging people and mind your own business. If it bothers you that much stop following them.
Tod, I agree with you. Do people ever stop and think that most individual with dyslexia (or learning disabilities) have trouble with reading, writing and spelling? Humm..
After reading all the comments, I don’t think so.
SAD
Depends who your audience is I guess. If your audience is me and you’ve got the wrong homonym in there I’m going to struggle to read it. So it better be funny.
It bugs me. I’m also from the South and firmly believe Y’all is a legitimate word. People screw that one up all the flipping time. I’m trying to cut some slack though.
And just to play devil’s advocate, perhaps it’s really only women and prolly (that’s slang and it’s spelled correctly) gay men who care so much. I mean, look at these comments. #JustSayin
I care way too much. I spend so much time on a post or casual response on social media because I’m terrified that I’ll make one of the mistakes you mention and those reading my post will think that I am not uber educated and better than them. I’m ashamed to admit it but I am naturally judgemental and self-righteous. I’m aware of it now and try to be work against my nature but inside my head it’s still a fight. I should write some terrible, quick, unedited stuff just to get over myself. In fact, I’m going to hit send now…. without looking back. Eeeek!
Get that fucking “be” outta there, Kristen! Christ!
With mistakes like that one, people will start calling you a luppenlatz!
All through grade school I had a good friend who struggled with grammar and spelling (especially “your” vs. “you’re” and “there” vs. “their”). She often mixed them up, and it drove me nuts when I’d see the error in notes she’d pass me during class.
But here’s the thing… she ended up diagnosed as having some learning ability issues. Just like some people struggle with comprehending math or science or other subjects, not everyone has the right brain connections when it comes to seeing the errors and understanding why it’s wrong. It’s not always down to a person being “lazy” or “moronic” just because they can’t see the difference and use the correct wording.
Yes, it still drives me a little nuts when I see someone use the wrong grammar, but I have to remember that I don’t know their background, I don’t know what subjects they’re strongest in and if they have any learning ability issues. I don’t even know just by seeing their post if English is their first language.
So… yeah, even though I have little to nothing in common with Mr. Shirtless and his lame “beer/fishnets” bullshit comments, I do agree with him in that I think your post was a bit flippant and unfair because you really don’t know anything about a person who makes a grammatical mistake online. (Including whether or not Facebook accidentally auto-corrected them.)
If the errors were part of an important document (research paper, job application cover letter, etc.) where spelling and grammar need to be spot on, then I’d say have at it. The person should spell-check and ask someone to look over their document for grammatical mistakes before turning it in.
If the errors were part of a blog comment in which someone is mocking you for something (while their post is riddled with errors), then I say unleash the Kracken! 😀 Kick their ass for being hypocritical.
But if it’s just a general Facebook post or a tweet or some very casual thing, I really don’t think it matters. It still drives me crazy, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. Give people a break.
That’s my two cents on the matter. 🙂
It was just a joke…c’mon!
Amen
Love your post Sherry.
I definitely care! I’m no grammar pro, but simple things like “they, they’re, their” are so simple to learn that it’s silly to not try…and I agree that it just sounds uneducated. I can’t ride a high horse though, I’m too short so, I’ll just climb back on my “short” horse. Love your posts, THEY’RE awesome. 😉
I’m a grammar nazi at heart (the Oxford comma gives me warm fuzzies), but I also have two advanced degrees in Linguistics that tell me I shouldn’t be such a snob. Prescriptive grammar (telling people what TO say) is completely useless…because language is spoken. Written language, when you really think about it, is nothing more than a time capsule – when you dump it out and look at everything inside, you can see how things used to be spoken in our language.
Let’s take France, for example: there are forty highly-overpaid men who sit on the Académie française and call themselves “les immortels” (yep, the immortals) and tell everyone how French should be DONE. But the fact is, the spoken word has changed so much that French oral language and written language look nothing alike anymore, and they have a government body that enforces keeping it ALLTHESAME. FOREVER. (And really – how much are they being paid…and for what exactly??)
The fact is, only “the immortals” are following the rules all the time. But they’ll sit on their thrones and decry the improper use of articles and subjunctives while the rest of the world just keeps moving.
Descriptive linguistics? That’s something I can get behind. Like, “Hey! Look what’s happening over here in this part of language! I wonder why people are doing that? What are they saying about themselves and their worldview when they use that kind of speech? (or when they don’t?)”
The fact is, the average American reads at an 8th grade level. The average American hasn’t read a single book this year. You and I aren’t average Americans, but I don’t know if reading a lot and knowing about the Early Middle English Vowel Shortening makes me “better” than average. I’d hate to miss all the opportunities I have for personal growth and compassion for others, just because I can check the “great grammar” box.
At the pool (hang with me here…), I don’t wear bikinis. Not because I don’t “have the body” for it (although this fourth kid kind of did a number on my thighs!). I’m also not rabid about modesty or telling everyone else to COVER UP!!! But I don’t wear bikinis because frankly, I’d rather other people look at my rockin’ smile and the way I’m throwing my kids in the water, and about my dazzling intellect and sparkling personality than just my boobs. I don’t want to detract from the main point – especially the people who are overly focused on modesty.
And maybe grammar is a little like that. I use “correct” spelling on my site, sales pages, and anything professional because I’d hate for the grammar nazis (who will certainly be reading) to get hung up on it and miss the point completely. I’d rather not distract them from the main event.
But as for what other people are doing with their language online? I’m not paid enough to be the police. Although if a spot comes open on the Académie française, I might just take them up on it.
A few years ago there was a review in the New Yorker of a book that was 100% pro-descriptivist. The reviewer noted, however, that the writer himself heeded all the advice of prescriptivists, right down to the correct use of “whom.” To truly follow the descriptivists is to go in for some pretty sloppy stuff. (And to those who say they never use “whom”–really? “To who it may concern?”) People are always changing, but we still need passport photos that say who we are now. Language is always changing, but that doesn’t mean dictionaries or usage guides are fuddy-duddy. Bryan Garner’s book is great: it even has a language-change index, and you can see how acceptable some non-standard words currently are. Well, at least in his opinion, but he’s pretty sensible!
Stage 1 (“rejected”): A new form emerges as an innovation (or a dialectal form persists) among a small minority of the language community, perhaps displacing a traditional usage (e.g.: “corroborate” misused for “collaborate”).
Stage 2 (“widely shunned”): The form spreads to a significant fraction of the language community but remains unacceptable in standard usage (e.g.: “incredulous” misused for “incredible”).
Stage 3 (“widespread but . . .”): The form becomes commonplace even among many well-educated people but is still avoided in careful usage.
Stage 4 (“ubiquitous but . . .”): The form becomes virtually universal but is opposed on cogent grounds by a few linguistic stalwarts (die-hard snoots).
Stage 5 (“fully accepted”):
Génial. Loved your story about the broken clock. Gave me a good feeling about you.
Jeni writes: “…but I don’t know if reading a lot and knowing about the Early Middle English Vowel Shortening makes me “better” than average.”
Uh, yes you DO know and you know it DOES make you better.
C’mon, you can’t just drop that shit in there and not expect people to think you are better than average.
In fact, I’d say you’re better than above average.
If you’ve got it, flaunt it.
Braniff used that line, and they went bankrupt. That was because they were too good for their own passengers. People were too intimidated to step on board.
You’re like Braniff, Jeni, except you’re still in business and way above the competition.
Isn’t there also a plural–y’alls?
Plus, you made me feel totally inferior when you started with “the Oxford comma.”
What the hell is that, I wondered.
Well, it turns out that I also use the Oxford comma, but never knew its name.
The Cambridge semi-colon is also pretty cool.
In fact, a confident use of the semi-colon really distinguishes someone as smart and superior.
The only close competitor to it is the Sorbonne colon, or the Salamanca dash.
I am so with you on this one. English is not even my mother tongue but I still really hate it when people make very basic mistakes. I’m on that high horse with you, judging people based on their bad grammar in any language. Yes, it can stem from a lack of education, and that’s fine. But most people are just sloppy and don’t make an effort and I think I resent that attitude more than anything. (I’m sure there are some mistakes in this comment but I swear I did my best;))
I’m with you, I cringe the way some people write that I think should know better. But lately I’m in several groups with international English not their first language people so I too have had to get down of my high horse. And really, in the end, who cares! ha.
Anyway I am no grammar pro, just the 2’s and the contractions. After writing the above I wondered if I’d fallen into a grammar pit of no redemption!
I DO like your original post tho – thanks for posting it here.
I dunno, I kinda get it, but you could pretend you are in a secret “Grammar Police Club”, just make a mental note and move on. Your still gonna feel good about you’re self for being so clever!
Awwww. Laura, I LOVE everything you write, you’re my writing hero:) Just keep doing what you’re doing, spread the laughs around and give us the freedom to speak out true voices. If you were all PC I probably wouldn’t have fallen in love, so please live on the edge of right and wrong…and just write!!
Laura, I totally struggle with this, because shitty grammar bugs. But then just yesterday I noticed I texted someone too when I meant to. The day before that I read an Instagram post where I wrote their when I meant they’re.
I know the rules, and like you, break them intentionally, but it pisses me off when I catch myself screwing up when I didn’t intend to.
Which leads me to my dilemma–how many of these cases of its vs. it’s and your vs. you’re are from people like me, who are just doing too many fucking things at once and aren’t paying attention. (See there– I wasn’t paying attention and put a period instead of a ?)
We don’t really proof what we’re writing on social media and when we do, it’s half ass, so should we really judge?
I think I’m going to start cutting people more slack. Except for the ones that use either when they really mean both. And maybe the irregardless people. And maybe the people that say, “I’m well” when you ask them how they’re doing…
I think my slack line is pretty short and tight…
Ps. I’m not proofing this. My thumbs already hurt from typing this on my phone. So fuck off if I have any “unintentional” typos.
Besides, I think it’s “a ttention.”
Whoopsies. It was a missed take.
Yes! Glad you can admit your air oars.
We need two standards-one for phones and one for laptops. We need an app for that. Someone write an app so I can tell if the idiot I am talking to is actually just a large thumbed individual! We also need an app to show if the person took touch typing in school. Wow, all the grammatical detection apps to be written.
I should stop reading this stuff and go write something on my empty website. I took everything down in anticipation of replacing it but I am having more fun here.
I’m very passionate about this topic as you can see from the length of this comment! It seems to me that the English language is going down the crapper. The your/you’re thing is rampant and I do care! It makes a huge impression and it’s also eroding our language. I’m not a writer but I did grow up with a parent who had English as a second language – and I have many friends for whom English is their second language – and they ask me all the time to correct their grammar and spelling because they want to use the language correctly. If someone learning our language has more respect for it than those of us who grew up with it – what the hell? Laziness or little education isn’t an excuse! We’re not talking about the intricacies of the English language here – this is basic grammar and spelling. Laura, you’ve corrected me before (tomb/tome!) and there very well may be mistakes in this comment itself – I wasn’t offended in the least in fact I thought it was fantastic. Stay on your high horse, love you for it!
These days I spell it incorrectly on purpose just to piss people off!
I used to find it extremely annoying, and see it as an opportunity to judge someone, but now that I write content online for a living and have made the mistake (and many others, most recently spelling Gandhi wrong) I see that in this super fast paced communication medium we’re all going to make mistakes at some point.
And when you let something like a typo get in the way of responding to what someone’s trying to say, it’s kind of a cop out from having a real conversation. Because the next generation doesn’t care so much about these things. And my husband is the smartest person I know and makes these kinds of mistakes all the time.
So now if I know what you’re trying to say, I will focus on that and not worry about the small stuff 🙂
Well, I think you’re the best, Sarah.
But you should make that list of 10 ways to appear smart add up to an odd number.
Can’t we add…use the subjunctive…say “were” instead of “was”…in meetings?
Nonetheless, your 10 ways were spot on. Very true.
And now I subscribe to the Cooper Review, a name which makes your content instantly seem more profound. The Cooper Quarterly Review might add a little sauce, but what you have is good.
Ha! I get sucked in to reading your blogs, not like I have the damn time, they just make me laugh and keep me sucked in, guess that’s why you get paid to write! I need and will be requiring your services as soon as I can!!! Thanks for the smiles. There, they’re, their worth it he heee
I make this mistake occasionally when talking with friends/family or sometimes posting on social media. But I normally go back and fix it. That said I would consider myself one of the “scholastically educated” (saying that with an eye roll and finger quotes).
My pet peeve: I personally hate contractions in anything that supposed to be formally written. I correct my husband all the time. He does research on Italian organized crime and has to translate the work for a US based company writes summary reports. I tell him all the time you can’t use that contraction, when really its personal preference lol.
I would say most of the time, in casual conversation, I don’t care about your/your’e especially if I know the person knows better. BUT I would expect to see the right form in someone’s blog post or sales page – anything where they are supposed to be professional, even if its a casual blog, but it also happens to be their moneymaker. In casual social media it’s not such a big deal but those places, to me, it seems like a lack of care.
Well, if hubby sits all day with the mafia on the brain, you’re lucky that bad grammar is his worst fault. You should hear how those guys talk!
NO!!!!! I CARE!!! IT MATTERS!!
Yes, we Beavers are a snot-nosed bunch, but it matters! It matters that it’s not taught properly in ALL schools. Much love to Vic, but grammar shouldn’t be taught only to the privileged. Every education system has English, Language Arts, etc. So why isn’t it taught properly? OK, so yeah, I’m totes snobby about it, but maybe it’s not the people I should judge, but the system that allowed them into the world without the basics. But, you know, I’m human so I judge the humans.
You see it overwhelmingly in online dating. The majority get all of this wrong, but I am always right to judge the various books by these grammatically incorrect covers (shitty metaphor, I know, but at least I know it’s a goddam metaphor and not a simile). Poor grammar and spelling speaks to a lack of sophistication, and in looking for a life partner, that is important to me.
I’m with you, Laura. In my mind, these are the basics. This is addition, and simple arithmetic. This is “Who was the first president?” I judge those who don’t know that just as harshly (and they’re everywhere).
*end rant.
Namaste
Hi Laura,
When I read the post I saw nothing wrong, at first. I had to reread it slowly to notice the mix-up.
When I post to Twitter I do it very quickly and do get words spelt wrong and grammar a bit confused.
When I read Twitter posts I read them very quickly and often don’t notice mistakes that other people make.
Mary
Like “spelt”. 😉
Isn’t that pasta?
Or is it more like “lent”?
It bugs me. I’m also from the South and firmly believe Y’all is a legitimate word. People screw that one up all the flipping time. I’m trying to cut some slack though.
And just to play devil’s advocate, perhaps it’s really only women and prolly (that’s slang and it’s spelled correctly) gay men who care so much. I mean, look at these comments. #JustSayin
Yup only gays and women care about this. And Y’all should always be spelled correctly. Are you serious??!??!?!?! And no one who has any schooling and a half a brain says nor spells prolly. Go get educated honey.
I care about grammar and also make mistakes. The problem with the internet is that it moves fast and proof-reading often gets overlooked. But that’s why everything has “edit” buttons. So that when you realize that you’ve made one of the most common grammar mistakes that we all learned handy tricks to correct in 3rd Grade, you can fix them.
The problem is that the people that make the mistakes actually don’t care and it makes them look uneducated. Most of them AREN’T uneducated. They’re just being lazy. The internet has eliminated the excuse of disadvantage when it comes to things like the difference between “your” and “you’re.” If you don’t know, google it. This is not calculus or astrophysics or horse riding. Simple grammar is not an advanced skill. That’s why we learned it in 3rd grade.
Okay, who thinks that “The problem is that the people that make the mistakes actually don’t care and it makes them look uneducated.”
Should be written “The problem is that the people who make the mistakes actually don’t care and it makes them look uneducated.”
Big deal…little deal…no deal?
I am not sure the “it” is right. Should the sentence not read “The problem is that the people who make the mistakes actually don’t care and : CHOOSE ONE: “this fact” “their lack of care””this lack of care” (or make one up)…… makes them look uneducated.”
I thought the “it” could refer to “The problem…” or the lack of care. We could say these are the same thing, that is the meaning of the sentence. But that would be wrong. It would be ungrammatical.
I love grammar. I dislike many abbreviations and misspellings that are considered cool, like using a z for an s, etc. Does this make me intolerant and snobbish? Yes.
I agree with you, but I also am known to typo the incorrect spellings even though I know the correct ones, which pisses me off to no end!
I’m not sure why my brain and fingers decide to do that to me, but they do.
Hannah, a writer never blames her fingers.