Yesterday’s blog post sucked. I knew it while I was writing it.
I’d had nothing to write, a state which I’ve promised won’t stop me from writing.
“No time to write today” is legit; “Nothing to write today” is not.
Why? Because sometimes when I’m thinking, I’ve used up all the thoughts and ideas I’ll ever have, and I’m tapped out and why keep up this exercise of writing every day when I’ve already proven to myself that I can do it and I could spend this time instead watching Whoopi Goldberg show off her unacceptable shoes on The View, that’s when I come up with my best stuff. I create something that wouldn’t exist if I’d waited to be inspired.
And you know what? Sometimes I just create a sucky blog post.
The sucky ones are part of the process. Like playing the scratch-off lottery.
Buy hundreds of cards, and you’ve got a better chance of one being a winner. (Though be warned, you’ll end up covered in those awful silver shavings, especially under your nails because who has the patience to find a coin, even though you’re sure that last you looked, you had like a hundred useless pennies and a quarter or two pooled the bottom of your bag?)
Back to yesterday’s post. It wasn’t the big scratch-off winner of a masterpiece.
I know because it barely got any likes. Should I use popularity as a metric of good or bad? Maybe not. The Comeback on HBO is superb, yet apparently, no one but me is watching. OK, forget the likes thing.
But I do know it was crotchety just for the sake of crotchety, as confirmed by a reader’s comment:
“I love reading your writing, but it always leaves me feeling a little depressed. There, I said it.”
OK, well back up a sec: “Always” is taking it too far. I write about all kind of uplifting topics, like watermelon chunks, and my childhood love of porn. If you find those things depressing, you may have low serotonin levels. Ask your doctor if Abilify is right for you.
Never mind, I’ve decided that yesterday’s post was just fine. But in the spirit of being “high vibration,” which is a newly common term that makes me gag, along with “stand firmly in your truth” and “holding space for desire,” I’d like to honor the question from that same reader that followed.
She asked: “What do you love? What makes you happy?”
OK, I’ll play. Here’s a completely incomplete list, mostly in no particular order except for #1.
- My husband
- Eating in restaurants, especially ones that send out freebies
- My family (including cousins, who are special to me – just the idea of “COUSINS” is not)
- Spaghetti
- Horrible people
- 20 bucks I forgot about in a pocket
- Summer
- Reading a book
- My friends, especially the ones who pick up right where we left off even if we haven’t talked in a year, no guilt no blame
- Breaking Bad
- The Wire
- My husband’s man scent — part him, part Commes Des Garçon
- Long walks on the beach — for real!
- Long walks down abandoned streets
- A bowl of ice cream, mashed up with some milk into a soup
- My favorite pair of Citizens of Humanity jeans, which I ordered used on ebay and which came perfectly broken in and which I dread falling apart on me one day, because I’ve already had them repaired twice
- Being on time, when it happens
- Real Housewives of NYC
- Watching Real Housewives with my laptop on (and burning) my lap, so I can post on Facebook at the same time
- When someone’s grammar gets corrected by someone other than me, so I can enjoy the release of correcting them without being the asshole who did it
- Sitting in the window of our apartment and staring at people
- Art that I understand
- Sometimes, a sandwich
- New pens
- Old yearbooks
- When a dog finally stops barking
- When something I didn’t feel like getting dressed for but also didn’t want to miss is canceled
- Sleeping late
- When my dad tries to read a joke out loud from his Joys of Yiddish book and can’t get through it because he’s laughing so hard
- Having no work due
- Hating the Styles section
- Eavesdropping
- Upgrade
- Free Shipping, Free Returns
- Vacation
- Despising Flo, the chick in those Progressive Insurance ads
- Having a tub of raw cookie dough in the fridge
- Italy, Spain
- New York City, especially in the 70s and 80s – which are alive and well in my head
- Having lived in New York City my whole life
- Having written (way more than actual writing)
- Responding to comments on my blog
- The word “unacceptable”
Happy now?
Now you.
What do you love? What makes you happy?
If you love to hate something, that’s fair game.
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
This one: “When someone’s grammar gets corrected by someone other than me, so I can enjoy the release of correcting them without being the asshole who did it”
Yes, yes, yes.
Oxford commas.
Watching the Kardashian trainwreck (though I admire their entrepreneurial POV) guiltily makes me happy sometimes.
Dogs that will greet me on the street before their humans do (ESPECIALLY the big ones – looking at you, Newfoundland who’s head came up to my hip) make me stupidly happy.
Melted chocolate chips that I can eat by the spoonful.
Finding the “woo girls” in the bar sometimes makes me happy.
Making fun of (said out of love and affection) terrible wallpaper in British homes (that MATCHES THE BEDSPREAD????) on Escape to the Country makes me happy.
Bubbly wine.
Ugh, you’ve done it. I could go on. Anywho. Yes.
Laura,
My Happy List:
New Mexico sunsets – The expanse of the horizon, those clouds…create such AMAZING colors.
Good, fun Music. Full blast in the car. So that is shaking my bones as I zip around running errands.
Friends that love you. Every crazy little piece of you, in fact those weirdo nuances are why they love you.
Wine
My dogs
All other dogs
My Love in bed first thing in the morning. Morning cuddle huddle.
Books. Especially funny inspiring ones.
Epic historical movies.
Hot tea.
Great blogs (Yours included)
Dry wit over great dinner
New Orleans every time of year- except Mardi Gras.
Thought provoking art. that you can get lost in and come out changed on the other side.
Thanks for the opportunity to just be grateful and put into a fun format.
Cheers,
Carissa
You don’t like Mardi Gras in New Orleans? You seem so upbeat – and then it turns out you’re a monster who doesn’t like drunken frat boys and women who show their boobs and then vomit woo woo shots in the street! Disappointing.
-Tyryn Whitney and Skylyr Winslow—no order, both firsts
– Hugs from my boys Ty and Skye
– The vision of my future husband
– My family
– Laura Belgray replies to my comments on her blog
– My whole house decorated so festively for Christmas
Christmas Ornaments that I take out each year, and forget I own. They are so brilliantly amazing and it’s like Christmas before Christmas!
– Lane’s comments on Laura’s blog, she “always” makes me laugh
– Comments from Licia, Indre, Sam and the rest of the “regulars on here”
– Laura’s Dad—I want to come for Hanukah at the Belgray’s I think it would be so much fun and hilarious…talk about a witty family…
– My clients so appreciative and so warm
– Being grateful daily
-The thought of a Laura Belgray “Pretty Woman Day”
Jewish Christmas (Jewmas) is way more fun than Hanukah. Daddy Belgray dresses like ratchet Santa – worn, maroon corduroy pants and a drugstore beard with the mustache in the wrong place.
Your ornaments must be so organized!
You’re one of the regulars here, too, you know. And I’m glad.
Your blog makes me happy. Where else can I get my dose of snark?
Also, the word “snark.”
Well, Gawker of course. But I’m glad you come here for your snark instead.
Your blog makes me happy. I really look forward to reading it like a letter from a friend. It’s my favorite way to procrastinate (like right now!). It’s the only forum that I have felt ease in responding to. I’ve been trying to create an online presence for almost for 4 years now. I’m great in person and my business is successful but translating my personality into this virtual world has been extremely challenging. When I found your blog I felt a sigh of relief because you are so real (not in a cloying “I’ll show you my ugly, vulnerable side” and then charge you to learn my secrets so you can be perfect like me). But like witty, grumpy, honest, funny with a whimsical slightly nasty nostalgic edge. I recognize your humor and in a strange way I can almost fantasize that your writing is something I wrote, I guess. I realize how difficult copywriting is, I know a bunch of copywriters in San Francisco and I was a voiceover actor, so I get it. It’s like ballet dancing, the art is in making it look simple and effortless. The reality is hours of technique classes and bloody feet.
I love your list of things that make you happy. I might be brave enough to write such a list but I applaud your ability to show it to the world. It makes me happy because it’s what I aspire to do and you make it seem like fun!
Everything about your comment makes me happy, Kristen. I know from all your comments here that you CAN translate your personality into writing – probably what’s holding you back in your business is your thoughts about what people expect, what’s “professional,” etc.
So – you were a voiceover actor! It’s always a funny struggle when the copywriter is in the studio. I used to go, and it took me a while to catch on to the etiquette. No, you don’t get to give the VO person a “read.” You have to say stuff like, “put a little more grit in the front end, and then more smile on the last word.”
THIS. I love this, Laura. Such a good post!
And some other things:
-Wearing sweats + cozy socks + wrapping myself up like a burrito in a blanket to watch a movie
-That thing you said about correcting someone’s grammar (my mom was an English teacher, it’s in my blood FOREVA)
-the double chocolate cookie from Panera. Good lord.
-multi-tasking (it’s so productive!)
-Painting when it’s raining out
Thanks, Stephanie!
I know, the grammar thing never goes away. I think my face turns red with the effort of not correcting people.
That cookie sounds good. I’m sorry you told me.
I like that everything on your list can be done at once, as long as you have a hand outside the burrito to paint and eat the cookie.
All at once? My own private hedonism! I accept the challenge.
COUSINS being your very worst post? Naw, don’t think that was the problem.
All those cyber BUY ME NOW emails crowding my inbox this week made me sick and tired of ALL my emails, even the good ones that I normally like.
You like Spain, huh? Come visit me. I see the Mediterranean from my window. We’ll do an exchange: sofa space for a blog? 🙂
That’s so funny, duh – Cyber Monday. I didn’t know why there was so, so much stuff in my inbox. I don’t think I took advantage of a single offer.
I LOVE Spain. Where are you?
Ok, you’re right, “always” is a strong word! Love hearing about your happy though 🙂
Well I wouldn’t change a thing about your comment, because it inspired a whole blog post! so thank you. 🙂
You KNOW I love this post! I smiled the whole way through! OK so here’s what I love:
*Jed
*Hollis & Elsa
*Clients who laugh even when I give them hard news
*People who take action instead of whining about what they don’t have
*Putting my perfume on in the morning and having worn it everyday since 1997 it never stops memories from flooding back
*Learning new things
*Reading
*Asking lots of questions about any topic that pops into mind (I am a curious Libra!)
*Chocolate (especially the kind Gina sends)
*My surgeon (not that kind of love – the love that saves your life love)
*Seeing crazy images and having them resonate right on for people
*Laughter – mostly guffaws
*Peaky Blinders on Netflix
*Watching TV in bed on my laptop with Jed
*New opportunities that find you
*New ideas
*Seeing a goal come to fruition
*Confident people
And so so so much more.
Love it! I’m in the BEST mood now! xoxo
The hardest thing about my blog is that there’s no “like” button for comments. It feels weird not clicking “like” for something so great. Like it feels weird not clapping when someone gives an awesome eulogy. Shouldn’t we clap for those?
Anyway. You commenting always makes me happy.
Someone else was talking about Peaky Blinders. It sounded weird, but now I might have to check it out.
What makes me happy…the physical pleasures, in no particular order:
A head clearing sneeze – must be preceded by that little nose tickle that lets you know the sneeze is coming but isn’t quite there yet.
A long, hard, much needed piss – After 2 beers and no bathroom available for at least 3 hours, then arriving home just in time to find the desperately needed relief.
A long, hot, tank draining shower. 50 gallons of hot water pounding the back of my neck and running down my spine. Even better when my wife joins me.
Scratching where it itches – and scratching, scratching, scratching and only quitting when you reach the point at which one more scratch will draw blood.
Sex, of course. The exhausting kind where you lie wondering if you are paralyzed and might never move again.
The smell of cinnamon buns. Don’t need to eat them, just suck their essence up your nose.
Music – Each person has their own resonance. Mine would be Mark Knopfler’s guitar and the Wailin Jenny’s harmonies.
Sam, I read that and thought, “Does he mean Waylon Jennings?” I know…I guess my knowledge of music is limited.
But! Thank God for my good friend Google, because she hooked me up to YouTube and now I know not to buy you a copy of the Highwaymen’s greatest hits.
You’re satisfied just by smelling the cinnamon buns? You must be thin!
I’m with you especially on itching and sneezing. I’m covered in scratching scabs, and I used to sniff my boss’ can of snuff that he kept on his desk, to make myself sneeze. It’s a nice work break.
Reading this blog makes me happy. Which is why I support you, even on your shitty blog days. Hey, it’s what I do. Remember, I’m from San Diego. We have the Padres and the Chargers. You’re either a fan in good times and bad, or not at all.
An off-the-cuff list:
My husband
My kids (yes, my husband comes first, because without him–no kids)
My backyard
Jalapeno Kettle Chips
Dusk
Aaron Sorkin’s brain
Wit
Non-judgy people
Watching bad reality t.v. with my daughter
Making people laugh
People who aren’t assholes
The rain (we don’t get a lot of here, and it’s currently raining)
Traveling
I could keep going, because a lot makes me happy, but I’ll end with:
Laura Belgray.
P.S. I would LOVE to hear your dad read from that book! That would definitely make me happy.
and…
Anyone who has Marie Forleo as one of her besties DEFINITELY knows how to do happy.
You ARE a true fan. If I were so vain as to start a fan club, I’d make you president. and then I’d perform at your prom, like Davy Jones did (or promised to) for Marcia Brady.
So, Aaron Sorkin, huh? That might be our one point of difference. I can’t handle the fast-paced “banter” in all his shows. I put it in quotes because it always feels like it’s in quotes. “I’m speaking banter that was written for me by Aaron Sorkin!”
Yes! I am going to self-appoint the title of “Laura Belgray Fan Club President”. It’s mine.
I totally get what you mean with Sorken. Too fast in delivery with the characters, but I can’t help but love his brain. He’s like a human encyclopedia and I love quick, smart wit. He could take it down a notch or two though. I do get a bit dizzy when watching…
I love your posts! They make me feel okay about the things I think but don’t (always) say. And they show that stellar (good? great? Is there a good adjective to put here?) writing doesn’t have to have an occasion every time. You write something, and then because you started writing, we all have something to laugh about. I’m very caffeinated right now. That might have made no sense.
Thank you, Randle! It all makes sense, in the most flattering way. And you’re no slouch yourself.
Yes, I agree, your blog makes me happy AND I love the Comeback too! Web Therapy is funny, guess I like Lisa K, though not a big Friends fan…too old? (me not Lisa)
My husband, my kids, my dog and not necessarily in that order. xx
Thanks, Barb! I haven’t watched Web Therapy – that might be next. I think Lisa K is right ON. She nails the disingenuous, self-conscious, vain personality. So much better than kooky Phoebe character on Friends, which was never really my thing either. And I’m the intended demographic.
I don’t know your dog, but the rest of your family is extremely good looking. Not that that has anything to do with them being likable or lovable, just worth mentioning.
YOU make my happy list Laura!
And YOUR BLOG makes my happy list too – on a whole separate line.
And THIS POST ON YOUR BLOG gets its own line too. It made me so dang happy.
And, of course, THE THOUGHT of your dad reading a joke from The Joys of Yiddish book makes me giddy with delight.
I have a juicy happy list in me somewhere. I’ve gotta write it down.
YOU were on MY happy list! You know which line in particular!
You’d get your own line if it didn’t make the other friends feel bad. You know which ones, and that gets you yet ANOTHER line.
Here’s my new list, in no particular order.
Abby
Abby
Abby
Abby
Abby