I believe in a success gene.
OK, maybe it isn’t truly a gene – you’d have to do one of those nature/nuture tests where you separate identical twins, and see if one of them grows up to be a captain of industry while the other becomes captain of towels at Lucille Roberts.
But I do know this:
Some people naturally have those “success habits,” and some don’t.
Back in our early 20s, my friend dated an NYU film student who’d just finished making a documentary. It was about a “hate rocker” who, while performing, would crap his pants, then smear poo all over his face and fling it at the audience. He’d also punch his fans in the face, and simulate sexual acts. No, make that sexual assault acts.
You’d kind of expect a film student who choses subjects like that to be a rebel-slacker type. But then, no rebel-slacker type finishes making a movie. This guy did.
What really tipped us off that he was a go-getter, though, was what he did next: early every morning, he took VHS copies of his movie and mailed them to important people. From the post office.
I told my friend, you can tell he’s going to be successful. Because he goes to the post office.
I know, you see all kinds of sad-sacks lined up at the post office. So maybe it isn’t a foolproof predictor. But it was so far beyond my own capabilities. I couldn’t even be bothered to put a stamp on a bill and mail it down the chute in the hallway.
I was right about filmmaker guy. He’s now an A-list Hollywood director. Make that A-plus-list.
I’ve seen other people like him. You can tell, they do the things they need to do without even thinking about it.
Things like:
- Show up on time
- Get work done on time
- Mail things (yes, on time)
- Change lightbulbs right when they burn out
- Get up early
- Finish projects
- Keep things nice and neat
- Keep promises
- Implement good advice
- Tackle work instead of bitching about it
- Resist making excuses. Especially fake ones.
Most of the things on this list don’t come naturally to me.
I’m not one of those people. But that doesn’t mean I can’t act like one.
Here’s how I play “successful person”.
Every time I don’t want to do something, I ask, WWASD? (What Would A Successful Person Do?)
And then, I do it. Like so:
Every morning when I get up, I start to walk away from the unmade bed, thinking I’d rather do it later. And then I remind myself, “a successful person would make the bed right now so it looks nice all day.” Then, I make the bed.
When I get a work assignment that I know is going to be hard, instead of saying, “Fuck, I don’t feel like doing this,” I say, “Bring it on!” Because that’s what successful people say. Don’t worry, I only say it in my head. “Bring it on” is so done. But the sentiment works.
When I’m getting ready to go to a meeting: “Successful people leave extra time.” Done. I’m out the door early.
When I’ve started an assignment too late: “Successful people don’t lie and say they had a family emergency.” I admit I fell behind. Or just pick up the pace.
When I really do have a family emergency: “Successful people don’t save the excuse for later like it’s a gift card.” Really. My dad had heart surgery this year and it occurred to me to use the story some time in the future. Clients, if you’re reading this, I didn’t do that. It’s not what successful people do.
I’ll probably never be a natural.
There are times I don’t even try. Especially with cleaning the house. Or getting up early — my body isn’t built for it. And when I do try, I always have to go through the whole routine: The “I don’t want to.” The “WWASPD?” The “Sigh. OK.”
The born-successful people don’t deal with that mini-struggle. They just do stuff. Automatically. And those are usually the people writing all the books and blogs and newsletters on how to succeed. Me, I’d rather receive success tips from someone who has to do it manually.
So, if you feel the same way, I’m a good person to give you this tip:
As long as you’re impersonating a successful person, you are one.
You can play “successful person” too.
What are you avoiding doing right now? You know what a successful person would do. Go do it.
Now, I have to change the lightbulb over my desk. It’s been out for about a week. But tonight, I’m feeling successful.
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Hated in the Nation!!!! I remember I was so shocked when I found out who made it! Awesome blog entry (first I’ve read!), and great guidelines. I will have to use this WWASPD method. I have my own version, basically, but yours is more compelling.
.-= Samantha´s last blog ..Yummy Homemade Natural Deodorant =-.
You are beyond cool. And so totally successful and one of those people.
The end.
.-= Marian Schembari´s last blog ..My name is Marian and I am a Comment Whore =-.
A few questions about the “starter bag”: does it ever end up in the new garbage bag? I assume there isn’t a starter garbage can, so where do you keep the starter bag? If the point is to keep the new bag clean, there isn’t a starter garbage can, and the starter bag ends up hanging from a door knob, then isn’t your anal husband making your house dirtier in an effort to keep his sparkling new garbage bag clean? If so, he is a disgrace to the anal.
There is a fine line between neurotic and successful.
A tip: I hear that people on cocaine, when bored, have a lot of the same cleaning habits of successful people. If this doesn’t work for you, you might try asking what someone on blow would do, just skip the “sleep with someone for more blow” part of the answer.
The started bag sits in an ungainly way on top of the brushed steel Simple Human can. It does look dirty. If you threatened to kick him out of the anal club, maybe he’d jettison the starter.
When it’s full, it never goes into the big can – that would spoil the joy of throwing that first orange peel, or whatever, into the pristine bag.
I had not heard that about people on cocaine. But methheads are notorious for cleaning binges. Also for hamster-nest-like homes. I’m not sure how to reconcile that.
People on blow do work long hours, though, and very often make big money. So I might try putting myself in blow shoes.
He is expelled from the “anal club” for that bit of counter-productive mishigas.
There is a bell curve for anal behavior and its correlation to productivity and success (ask Freud, or your dad). If you are on the downward slope of the bell, you can’t be said to be anal any more, you are rectal.
I know this is a family blog, but I have to say, your husband is sliding down the rectal slope with his starter bag.
And squealing “wheeeeeeee!”
He loves slides.
hi laura–
i’m new here. i just re-read your “5 secrets to non-sucky copy” and wanted to say thank you. it makes so much sense, it’s entertaining and a wonderful resource to keep around for passive proofreading purposes.
enjoyed this article too!
Hi Linda, welcome. I’m so glad you like the “non-sucky” guide. It was fun to write and I love the idea that people put it to use. Thanks for stopping by on the blog.
Oh yes! I’m also not one of those people, for about half of the things on your list. I do keep promises (don’t make them if you have to break them!), show up on time (since I hate it when other people make me wait as well), get up early and resist making excuses (recent development – liking it).
However, I do frequently catch myself making up reasons for not doing something simple right now. Things like: dropping the mail in a mailbox _that I’m going to pass anyway_ would be much better done tomorrow than today. Srsly? So, when I notice being lame like this, I laugh at myself and then do it.
The no-excuses thing is important. And excuses come so very naturally. I try to just entertain them in my head, then keep them there.
My friend Marie Forleo wrote a post with an excellent tip. It’s called TIO, or Touch It Once – really works for things like mail in the mailbox. Check it out.
http://marieforleo.com/2010/01/3-ways-to-really-start-the-new-year-off-right/#more-1097
Hi there!
David Doolin emailed me earlier to recommend this article. He thought it would be right up my alley and it seems he knows what he’s talking about. Great post! I feel inspired!
I can identify with the idea of choosing, repeatedly, to act like a successful person. It definitely doesn’t come natural to me, but following through on that decision a decent amount of the time has sure made my life a lot happier these past few months.
Thanks for the reminder and encouragement! I look forward to more great blog-speak.
ps. if this is a duplicate, sorry…I tried commenting from my phone earlier and it wasn’t cooperative.
.-= Carlos Velez´s last blog ..4 Ways To NOT Fail at Anything Ever, A Definition of Archetypes (The Saboteur, Prostitute, Child, & Victim) =-.
Oh, you get me, you get me! Thank you for this! 🙂 So many people don’t get it and just think we’re awful …
Hey! Who thinks we’re awful? Tell them to come speak with me. I’ll show them awful.
It is a moment-by-moment choice, right? Some people choose without thinking about it.
More blog-speak coming your way. Thanks for reading.
I’m also questioning the whole successful people make their beds thing. See, I do household tasks to “gear up” for being successful. “Gear up” is really “put off.” Like, “I’ll get to my screenplay right after I finish the laundry.” Trouble is, laundry usually leads to more cleaning, less writing.
Another thing I do to “gear up”: Read blogs like this one for inspiration. Laura, you should feel honored. (And a bit guilty for keeping me from success).
Yeah, but cleaning is so much more “successful person” than the other ways you could “gear up” — like reading dlisted, watching The View, eating little cups of cereal…I hear some people do those things.
As for reading my blog, only the most successful people spend time doing that. Congratulations!
Yes, I’m with Marian. I clean to avoid work. Nothing like the cheap sense of accomplishment that comes from scrubbing the underside of the sink until it shines for…nobody to see. And I read productivity blogs, too. I think of them as the modern day equivalent of my obsessive relationship with school supplies, and how my yearly trips to Baronet and Menash for trapper keepers and reinforcements were always filled with false hope. Like… If I have the right assignment book, I’d actually write my assignments down. Never happened. By the second week of school, I was doodling on all my clean notebooks and dipping into the liquid paper for nail polish.
Oh, liquid paper nails! Wow, do kids still use liquid paper? They use paper, right?
I can still smell Menash. It’s the smell of smurfs and self-delusion: “this year I’m going to be organized.”
I am glad to see that I have the success habits even if they come packaged in a bit of O.C.D.
I think what has worked for me is to take those voices that do urge me to postpone progress by making them into a bully that I can visualize. I’ve never wanted to be bullied, so this image stirs my emotions to get on task.
.-= Lydia, Clueless Crafter´s last blog ..Knit Wit =-.
I make the voices into pushy salespeople. They’re the only ones I’m good at saying no to.
I love posts like this! They make me feel so much better. But … do successful people clean their houses? Because I figure, I’ll just wait until I can afford to hire a maid. Does it make me look bad to say that? Good advice, though! Because a successful person would get more sleep than I do (Jeanine, go to bed!). Not working yet…
Successful people start off cleaning their houses. To cope with it, you need to create an alternate personality who can watch you and pity you. And give you a nice tip around the holidays.
successful people just have this tremendous ability to get ready and roll. Unlike the rest of us who are always getting ready to get ready. Great blog!!!!
Exactly. Maybe they’re ready because they don’t wait to feel ready. You’re never, ever, ready to be ready.
Even more important than the post office — and i am not underestimating the value of that — he was also the most confident person we had ever met and that was when he was still a cab driver. The secret is that he totally believed in his own talent and had no fear. As my shrink used to say “laziness is just another way of saying fearful” (that was, of course, before I became too lazy to go to therapy).
The believing in your talent thing – only people I know who have that are guys, and a certain kind of female I usually don’t like.
If you’re going to analyze your laziness, you need to pick a shrink who’s no further from your home than Duane Reade.
I remember reading about that guy in the flim years and years ago.
I’ve got a pretty strong stomach, and I’m pretty agreeable to fairly wide variety of bizarre behavior, but that guy was just too far out there.
I just a great article on sabotaging success on Carlos Velez Concisous Me blog. He’s a new blogger, won’t hijack the comments here, but I liked it enough to mention it… not something I usually do.
.-= Dave Doolin´s last blog ..Website In A Weekend: Friday Evening – Off to the Races =-.
Yeah, that guy is for a whole other level of strong stomach. Will check out that blog, thanks!
And successful people are consistent with their blog.
Genius post.
Love it.
Keep up the great stuff!
Thanks, Kenli! Great to see you here. Keep reading, and I’ll keep writing.
Wow oh wow! First time blog reader and first time poster all in one day.
Maybe a month ago I was doing something lame.. (washing dishes I think) and perked myself up with the random thought “successful people”…… (wash, dry and place them back in the cupboard when they’re done.”)
Reading your blog today burst the top off my little “synchronicity bubble” for sure! Weird, weird, weird, but in a good way.
Thanks for sharing. I will be back!
Oh, that’s so funny. I have to say “successful people” when I do the dishes, too. Because my kind of people likes to let them air dry.
Awesome!
Thanks, Precious. Found your comment in the spam pile, right under a post by some “snuggie for dogs” poster.
Don’t let my husband read this–he’s completely anal about making the bed. Guess I should start…
Want to talk anal husband? Mine, after he puts in a new garbage bag, has a rule that we can’t use it. We have to use what he calls a “starter” – a plastic deli bag that he sets on top of the trash can. We have to use the starter for like, a day until the real garbage is fair game.
Awesome! And Happy New Year!
Yeah, you know there’s a correlation between mailing things and creating blockbuster buddy comedies that gross millions overseas.
xoL
the best part about this post is I actually started whining out loud as I was reading “do I really have to change lightbulbs?” “do I really have to keep my desk neat?” “do I really have to change the toilet paper?” etc. etc. …. that’s just all kinds of awesome.
.-= Elizabeth Potts Weinstein´s last blog ..Why I’m Not Setting Goals or Picking Words for 2010 =-.
Haha. No, of course you don’t have to! Not unless you want to be a SUCCESSFUL person! And don’t want to be stuck with no toilet paper the next time you’re doing yo’ business.