My day today was going shitty.
Nothing terrible happened, it was more of a low-grade shitty.
1) I woke up looking really puffy, especially around the jowl area. I say “jowl area” because it sounds less harsh and middle-aged than plain ol’ “jowls.”
2) I forgot to take the spoiled arugula with me when I went out for my morning walk, so I could return it to Citarella. It was the last container of arugula in the store on Easter Sunday, and I knew it would be no good. But I bought it anyway, because I felt like being disappointed by salad.
3) When I came back from my walk and saw the forgotten, off-smelling arugula in the fridge, it made me think of the 14-dollar burrata ball that I threw out last night. It was sour, and green on the bottom, even though it wasn’t even at its sell-by date. I hate not getting my money back for rotten cheese, but not feeling like going back to Eataly won out.
4) I had time to write a blog post this morning, but didn’t because nothing I wrote was coming out right.
5) Instead of doing something that would move my life or career forward, I read every recap of last night’s Mad Men.
6) I spent the morning in a funk of missing someone, and then realized that someone was last night’s Mad Men.
7) Let an email to a client who asked for a 1-hour session take me two hours to write.
8) House dance class had moves I was bad at. I suck at turns. I think I have bad balance because of scoliosis. And I think I have scoliosis because I’m pretty sure a doctor once said so. I ignored him on account of the Judy Blume book Deenie. She was a teenager who had to wear a back brace. Also, she touched herself at night in her “special spot.” Which is irrelevant but made me that much more uncomfortable about scoliosis.
9) Saw my Time Warner Cable bill. Wondered how long I’ve been paying over $200 bucks a month, and felt sick.
10) Picked up, then put down, for the 100th time, a medical bill that should never have come to me because it was for a routine annual checkup which is covered by insurance. Also, it had a line item for “SPECIAMEN HANDLING.” There was no “speciamen” involved in this checkup. Any kind of “speciamen” leaving is traumatic for me. I’d remember.
So here’s what I did to salvage the day:
1) Came home from dance, called Time Warner Cable to demand they lower my cable bill. I got an actual human on the line and he actually lowered my cable bill. He reduced it from ARE YOU SHITTING ME back down to the previous sum of GODDAMN WE PAY TOO MUCH FOR CABLE, THIS IS WHY PEOPLE CUT THE CHORD, BUT WHAT ARE WE, BROOKLYN PEOPLE? NO, WE KEEP THE CABLE, PLUS IT’S TAX DEDUCTIBLE ANYWAY. Plus, gave me a month’s credit for the difference. Plus, was very receptive to my feedback that the On Demand user experience sucks a big hairy one. It’s a cock blocker for binge watching. I didn’t put it in those exact words, but he agreed.
2) Called insurance, who agreed I shouldn’t have been billed by the doctor’s office, and is re-processing the claim.
3) Wrote this blog post. I feel better.
Now you.
You ever have one of those low-grade shit days? What do you do to redeem it?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
I’ve been having a string of shitty days that I gather up in the morning and squish down deep in my belly so I can actually be productive and put a front out to the world that my business is going smashingly. {Insert large fake smile here.}
A big green monster case of copy envy. That’s what I have. And one day I hope to take the Copy Cure courses!
The shittiest thing is logging into my back office to see that my email sent to thousands of people was opened by 20 people. Or that the facebook post I did, that I thought would be killer, was viewed by 14 people.
It’s so sucky talking to myself! Sucky, sucky, SUCKY! Waaa! Ok I feel a little better now that I got that out.
xoxoxo!
Dawn
Dawn! The Copy Cure is one course, and you can take it right now. Matter of fact, it’s under 4 hours and you can watch it all in one afternoon binge. Go for it. It’ll definitely help you make your posts more resonant, which s what they’re probably missing now. Did you do the free course?
You’re a great writer, and if your comment above were a blog post it’d get read and commented on.
xoLaura
I loved Tiger Eyes !!! This blog always makes the day better.
I have to admit, this post cheered me up on a day that was kinda shitty.
However, too many days like this is a sure sign you’re being supported financially. Or you’re making much more than I am for those few minutes you work.
Are we copywriting yet?
Had some potential clients who I had a coffee date with cancel on me. Woke up not feeling energized. Shitty day.
Reached out to my Awesome Club who cheered me up. It’s nice to have people who have your back when the going gets tough 🙂
We need to teach our girls from a young age that they deserve good salad. You, Laura, deserve good salad.
When I have things that are making me stress, like taxes or medical bills, I try to ignore them. “Postpone, ignore, repeat” has gotten me out more than one jam!
I like your style, Laura.
Well, I remind myself – what is the ONE THING that I can do in my business, RIGHT NOW, that will make a difference.
Or go eat chocolate. Both are good choices.
Laura, your writing is comic genius. I vote for the Laura show. You would make all of us laugh and transform days like yours began. I had such a rough day today too….thanks for letting me know I was not alone.
My inbox has been overloaded….umm guilty as charged, I subscribe to everyone’s list. Then I have no time to read anything. But I clicked on your email, so glad I did. You made me laugh. You’re blog always gives me blog envy in a good way.
I had a shitty day too! But unlike you, I have done nothing to salvage it for some reason. I like how all the reasons your day sucked were pretty mundane – I find that’s typical for me too. My day sucked today because I went on Facebook and saw how everyone I know seems to have these amazing lives that are always moving forward and changing, while today mine is not. I know Facebook is all lies, but today I chose to believe those lies and now I feel bitter. I am going to go make a stirfry for dinner and listen to my favorite podcast (Darkness Radio!) and maybe that will cheer me up.
Thanks for the laughs, I loved this post 🙂
This blog. This blog cheered me up. Totally sounded like my day (replace reading recaps of Mad Men with binge watching Dexter) and made me feel better. And then got some puppy kisses. Those always do the trick!
Your rock Laura! Thanks for the giggles!
Bah – and by Your rock…I clearly meant you rock! Silly, silly fingers!
I’m new around here, but I had the same experience recently with Time Warner. No more heart attacks, just palpitations. You’re hilarious.
Right now I am seriously thinking about the Amys organic pizza in the freezer (3 cheese) when I swore I would not eat carbs this week. But very often, carbs save the shitty day.
Carbs are God’s cruel joke.
I read your blog post, that’s how. On Demand is a ‘cock blocker’ – comedy gold!
Plus, I will eat a cupcake.
P.S. How is cable tax deductible?!
How did I ever miss Deenie? I was a Judy Blume disciple back in the day, but I don’t think I read that one.
It sounds like you had a delayed reaction to the full moon this past weekend. My junk gets all messed up from it EVERY TIME. So when I’m having a bad day? I grab the nearest cookie/cake/candy I can find, hunker down and watch a movie. There’s very few things that chocolate can’t make better (even if just a little).
Deenie. Oh shit. That book messed me up, because I had “low grade” scoliosis–whatever the hell that is. I was petrified of that brace and her touching herself.
Shitty days. We all have ’em. Thanks for sharing Laura, even though I have to drive to LA today for what will probably be a 20 minute meeting, I’ll think, “Well, it’s not as shitty as Laura’s.”
It’s 7am and I am hung the fuck over from celebrating my boyfriend’s grand opening last night. (PSA – Whiskey and red wine don’t mix. Especially on an empty stomach.) I’m not sure yet how I am going to rectify this, because the B-Complex fizzy-powder-mixed-with-water remedy and coffee are so far ineffective.
And I’m “scheduled” to write today. And go to the gym. And work with a marketing client.
And have you seen my kitchen? I haven’t done dishes in days and I am living in squalor.
Send help.
Also? I wrote this once: http://www.kateanthony.com/new-blog/2015/3/10/getting-my-shit-together
Woah!! Freakin’ love this blog post. Haha I have a day like this at least once a week…where I know I should do this or that but I simply can’t bring myself to do it. The worst part is waking up the next day with the same TO-DO list! haha Feels great when you finally do it though. Way to go!
I, too, have a day like this once a week. Which proves we should have 3-day weekends. At least.
Glad I read this today–a day I’m referring to as shitbag Tuesday. All before 8 am I found a family of ants in my kitchen, forgot my breakfast on the counter and realized I’m not wearing any makeup. This girl has got it GOING ON! Currently rummaging my desk for snacks and knowing that the cinnamon I dumped all over the kitchen floor has convinced my house pests to evacuate (don’t you just love pinterest?). Also smiling because of this post (and the thought of lowering my ATT Uverse bill). Thanks, Laura!
Shitbag Tuesday is fantastic. The name itself makes it a better day. At least for me.
I celebrate when I forget a meal and leave it on the counter. It happens way too rarely.
Try calling ATT – they happen to be the nicest about taking off charges. I always think they’re pranking me when they’re so nice.
Thank you for this. You’re so rad.
Right back at you. Just for saying that.
You’re hilarious.
That’s all.
That’s all I need! Thank you.
In this case, misery loves your company (and hilarity). Thanks for sharing your shitty day Laura. I too had a crappy one and was headed to bed early, but after reading your blog I feel better. Next time I’m convinced my emotional funk and lack of motivation is due to an eclipse in Libra, I’ll be checking my inbox, looking for a laugh from Laura instead 😉
You make misery look so pretty. Next time you’re in a funk, look in your inbox AND blame astrology. Assigning blame is so uplifting.
You had me at morning walk.
Every morning, believe it or not, Mish! Except when it’s under 20 degrees. That’s where I draw the line.
Not sure if this is a Monday thing – but boy what a crapbag of a day. Grumpy. Eyes burning. Moving slow. Even the internet connection seemed to basically tell me to f-off.
Things that shake these days loose of their stinky poopness?
1. Chocolate. Lots of it. Someone mentioned cookie. Oh yea. A good old piss off cookie rights the day – or at least makes the tired sluggish whimpering bearable.
No Peeps however. Peeps make me feel worse.
2. Your blog of course. (I am doing this for extra special points of course). Even when it stirs a slightly crazy rant from me like it did a few weeks ago. What can I say – you inspire.
3. Videos of people getting wacked in the nuts. (My 7th grade soccer coach drilled one right into the fellas one crisp october afternoon. I still wake up screaming on occasion. Sympathetic laughter very helpful).
4. My mother’s nickname was Deenie (from Nadine). Glad I did not read that book as a child.
5. A good song. Can shift the mood for sure.
6. The sky – which is displaying a fabulous moon lately. That will help in about an hour.
7. Writing this. We can hope at least.
Alright LB! You rock.
Points SCORED, Coash.
YES!!!!!
I usually drink. Your way is better.
ha ha ha ha ha ha. I have just started LOVIN on Dance Moms. Your post made me laugh too much. I freaking love Abby Lee, she is like a car crash you can’t not look at.
But Kelly…… there are no words for her crazy eyes, she is HILARIOUS. Thanks for writing about something that made my day.
Dance Moms is the best. The kids are so talented and the moms are so pathetic.
I can so relate to your sucky day! Love how you describe your phone call experience. LMAO. I, too, went through the “ARE YOU SHITTING ME” to “GODDAMN WE PAY TOO MUCH” reduction process a few weeks ago, not only on my cable bill, but also my cell phone and alarm company bills. All bills suck, especially the messed up doctor’s office kind. Glad I opened your email. I needed a good laugh moment just for me.
So satisfying to get bills reduced, and yet so alarming — because what else am I paying too much for? And how much more could I have gotten the fee reduced if I were better at it? Is there a secret password that gets it down to ten dollars? I bet there is.
You just triggered something. When I called them, BOTH my cell phone and alarm companies told me there’s a discount I’ve been eligible for awhile, but they won’t offer it unless you call in to lower your bill. I got to the point where I was working them so hard I felt like I was the cheap-ass greedy one. Nah, who am I kidding? I’m still paying too goddamn much.
Damn I needed that. Girl you leaned in and turned that shit around. BAM
Thanks for the laugh and real ness (right?!) aHHH- I’m taking it all a bit too seriously lately.
I put my thing down, flipped it and reversed it. Thanks for swinging by! Always glad to help you not take it all seriously. Reminder: it’s all ridiculous!
Oh “one of those Brooklyn people”! I love it. 🙂 We don’t have cable here in Texas, but we didn’t in Toronto or Brooklyn either. I think it’s just a “one of those people” things, period. 😉
Love that you called and made them fix things though, especially medical stuff. That’s never fun!
My day started off slow (as most Mondays seem to) but it picked up by the afternoon. 🙂
Nath, maybe the reason you moved to Brooklyn is that you’re a no-cable person. You subconsciously answered the borough’s “I don’t own a TV” siren song.
Now, how Texas got its hands on you, I will never know. But the pool looks damn nice!
Glad your day picked up. I should just expect Mondays to be slow. Scratch that, I should take Mondays off. I like it! Thanks for the inspiration.
Maddie is everything and she’s growing up too fast. What is the fate of her dance career? I feel like we have to collectively keep an eye on her. That’s all. My day sucked today, too. But I went and danced/taught tonight and salvaged the worst of it. Also, you’re real, real funny. I would have never worn a back brace either.
She is EVERYTHING. I know, she is way too young to be in a cage with Shia LaBeuf. I don’t know if anyone’s ever ready for that.
Thank god for dance, it almost always makes the day better – even if you (not you, but “you”) do sucky turns, sweating works miracles. We should join the Abby Lee company.
Cable is tax deductible?
Uh, YEAH. Hello, if you is a writer — and I know you is, Tom, from your website tomisawriter.com, then yeah. Deduct that shit.
“House dance class had moves I was bad at. I suck at turns. I think I have bad balance because of scoliosis. And I think I have scoliosis because I’m pretty sure a doctor once said so. I ignored him on account of the Judy Blume book Deenie. She was a teenager who had to wear a back brace. Also, she touched herself at night in her “special spot.” Which is irrelevant but made me that much more uncomfortable about scoliosis.”
OMG, I thought I was the only human who ever read this book! And thought the same thoughts! And I have scoliosis too! And I most definitely suck at turns 😉
Are you kidding? Everyone read Deenie. The one no one read was Tiger Eyes. OK, I did. Hated it!
It’s official. Scoliosis makes you suck at turns. I feel WAY better now, thank you.
I had a sucky day myself, but this cheered me up! Thanks!
Also, I am eating a cookie.
Your cheering up extra-cheered me up, so it’s all boomeranging an’ shit.
If it’s just one cookie, I hope it’s the giant kind.