I started 5th grade in 1979. That’s when designer jeans were “all the rage.” An expression your grandmother would use, but really – they were the rage.
All the sexy girls in my class wore them.
(Yes, to ten year olds, other ten year olds are sexy.) Carney, Randi, Jen, Alexis, Sacha (names changed to protect the sexy) — they all had “the look.” Not necessarily Jordache – those weren’t first choice. The best ones to wear to school were Sassons or Calvins. A pair of those, coupled with a skinny belt and shiny red parachute bag by Le Sportsac, and you were good to go.
I wanted a pair so bad.
Nothing I hoped for in life was going to happen in the jeans I had — Wranglers and Lees. Those were for losers. So I told my parents, “We need to get me some decent clothes.”
My dad didn’t get it. “Dungarees are for knocking around in. Why do you need an expensive, European label on your knockaround pants?”
My mom also thought the jeans I had were plenty decent, but after I begged and begged, she agreed to take me to Bloomingdales to buy me ONE pair.
I didn’t know how I’d ever narrow it down to just one, but that didn’t turn out to be a problem.
In the Bloomie’s dressing room, armed with about ten different pairs, I tried on my favorites first: the Calvins. I couldn’t get them up. Carney, Randi, and those other skinny girls didn’t really have butts. I hadn’t considered that.
My mom, standing outside because I forced her to, called through the door: “Can I see?”
“No!” I shrieked. “They’re too small. And don’t try to peek!” You could see through the slats of the door if you put your eye up close. I knew this from spying on my sister when she tried on clothes.
“I’m not peeking” my mom said. “You sure they don’t fit? That’s usually your size.”
I tried on the Sassons next. Same deal. Then a size up. No luck. Then the Jordache, the Sergio Valente…even Gitano, I think…and finally, the Gloria Vanderbilts. Vanderbilts weren’t lower in the jeans pecking order than Sergio Valente, but the commercial said that they “fit…like the skin on a grape!” If the others were tight, what were my chances of fitting into the skin on a grape? Nil. Tight they were.
I stuck with my Wranglers. They were nice and roomy. Good for “knocking around.”
As a consolation prize, my mother bought me a shiny, red parachute Le Sportsac.
Moral of this story? You come up with it.
I just loved these old ads. Here’s another one, that shows what my school life would have been like if the jeans fit. Except for the teacher part. “The look” my teacher had was long, droopy boobs and no bra.
UPDATE: The video was removed since I published this post years ago. I don’t even remember what it was for, but picture a classroom full of kids in designer jeans, with a perky-boobed teacher.
I had just started high school in a new state when the designer jean craze hit and I wanted a pair of Jordache jeans more than anything in the world, because that's what all the other kids were wearing. But they were like $40. An ungodly price, at that time. You could probably buy four pairs of Levis for that kind of money. So I worked and saved and after about 4 months, I had finally set aside enough money. Off to the Merry-Go-Round I went, cash in hand. Soon I was the proud owner of the darkest blue pair they had, with the horse embroidered on the back pocket. But wait! I had to dry clean them to keep that dark blue? More money to save up. Being the thrifty guy I was, I wore those jeans until I couldn't fit in them anymore. Long past when Jordache jeans stopped being the rage and became hopelessly passé and the object of ridicule. Since I worked so hard for them, I couldn't get rid of them. In fact, they're still in my closet. I should put them on eBay. Is anyone a 28/36 anymore?
Ha. That just brings it back to my most recent post, on how I can't get rid of stuff in my closet – often because I spent good money on it. I think you could safely wear those jeans again now, in Williamsburg. You can wear anything from the 1980s or 1880s there and get away with it.
I had just started high school in a new state when the designer jean craze hit and I wanted a pair of Jordache jeans more than anything in the world, because that’s what all the other kids were wearing. But they were like $40. An ungodly price, at that time. You could probably buy four pairs of Levis for that kind of money. So I worked and saved and after about 4 months, I had finally set aside enough money. Off to the Merry-Go-Round I went, cash in hand. Soon I was the proud owner of the darkest blue pair they had, with the horse embroidered on the back pocket. But wait! I had to dry clean them to keep that dark blue? More money to save up. Being the thrifty guy I was, I wore those jeans until I couldn’t fit in them anymore. Long past when Jordache jeans stopped being the rage and became hopelessly passé and the object of ridicule. Since I worked so hard for them, I couldn’t get rid of them. In fact, they’re still in my closet. I should put them on eBay. Is anyone a 28/36 anymore?
Ha. That just brings it back to my most recent post, on how I can’t get rid of stuff in my closet – often because I spent good money on it. I think you could safely wear those jeans again now, in Williamsburg. You can wear anything from the 1980s or 1880s there and get away with it.
Hi, interesting post. I just now clicked a link to your website and am already a fan. 😉
Love your story!!
Ah, I remember “the rage” on jeans so well back then and the commercials! Luckily I was allowed to appreciate and not have to participate in this madness. I had my own issues of trying to find the perfect comb w/flare to stick out of my back pocket. I settled with “Rock Star” but that never really seemed to fit me, like your jeans story. Plus my hair never “feathered” right and I couldn’t keep a straight part down the middle!!
Did the jean rage ever really end ? Or just evolve? I still see tight jeans everywhere and the 80’s was a scary time because men joined in “the rage.” Luckily jeans have gotten cool and loose again for guys!! Zippers can be challenging enough to use, to have to force the issue can be dangerous. Beans & Franks!! Ben Stiller proved that in “There’s Something About Mary!!” Hurts to even think about that scene!!
Well, I’d say the rage evolved – but that was such a moment in time when “designer jeans” was a new and strange concept. Now, nothing designer would strike us as odd – not even designer salt.
You watch, that’s next.
I heart jeans. That is all. Jeans jeans jeans.
Now I can’t get that freakin jingle out of my head! So catchy!
Oh, that’s easy – here’s something to get it out of your head:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk
Ho ho. So the first present you buy for your new nephew is an adorable pair of overalls! And he sure looks cute in them.
My mother insisted I wear “dungarees” too (which was such a disgusting name, I surely wasn’t going to get dung on them). I remember wanting a pair of disco-y looking jeans (maybe Chic? was that a brand?) one year and mother wouldn’t get them for me because I was about 11. Well, the next year, they showed up at Marshall’s and she got me them for Christmas…but I had moved on to preppy and was mortified by the disco jeans. She wasn’t too pleased that we returned them. I’m glad I have boys!
I think I owned some Sears Toughskins. That’s as “dungaree” as you get.
From what I remember, they were not flexible enough to sit in, never mind jump on a trampoline like they do here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2ci
I went preppy too, in 8th grade. I was obsessed with wide-wale corduroys, and turtlenecks under polo shirts. I wanted all Ralph Lauren polos, until someone told me that “Polo is Jappy and Izod is preppy.” So I switched.
I remember feeling like just maybe I looked hot in my super-tight Sassoons, red turtleneck and rainbow [Mork] suspenders. I was definitely mistaken, but it’s great fun to remember how much I loved that outfit!
Well, I’m sure you looked sexy. Who wouldn’t look hot in Mork suspenders? Oh wait. Mork, that’s who.
He can pull them off. He’s tall.
“You’ve got the look I want to know better” — I remember that jingle down to the letter — L. Belgray
Here’s a story for you. I am a round girl and have always been. My best friend is tiny. Once, in the 70s, when I was 10 and she was 11, she got a pair of designer jeans overalls. Immediately, I needed a pair too. OVERALLS, YOU ARE AWESOME! On her, they looked stylish. I begged and begged for a pair. Finally my mother said, and I quote, “Look. On Lisa they’re adorable. On you, you’ll look like a farmer. I’m only telling you this because I love you.” I did manage to score a pair of Jordace that required me to lie down and use a coat hanger to zip them. 🙂
Oh man, overalls are a whole other thing.
They were big again in like 1992 and I tried some on. But I knew what the result would be.
Lucky you, that your mother had an objective eye.
Well, I knew better than to even try them on! I did fit into a pair of Calvins in 12th grade (when I went on a diet and once cried because the salad I ordered came with dressing already on it – THAT was healthy eating…) Btw, I can’t wear anything but Levis these days..I did, however, beg and beg for the SportSac – mine was maroon… when my mom FINALLY caved and we brought it home, my (non-violent) dad threw a chair across the den! THAT memory has stayed with me for decades – and you know what? When my 10 year old begged for her UGGS, it killed me, but I took her to Old Navy and got the $34 imitations… I gotta say, they look EXACTLY the same, she’s happy, and.. they FIT her perfectly!
Oh 12th grade I got so skinny. Diet coke, and lettuce with “vinaigrette” – and by that I mean vinegar. But by then we weren’t doing Calvins any more. We were wearing beat up levis, rolled at the cuff. Exactly what are now called “boyfriend” jeans. Those didn’t look good on me then, and wouldn’t now.
Don’t you kind of wish you still had that SporSac? I bet it would be cool now.
Go Ally for accepting faux uggs. I would probably have insisted on the real ones.
Haha. I guess you have another jingle memorized, too.
I didn’t know they actually marketed them to kids! That’s really funny.
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Oh yeah. They sure did. It’s no accident that ten-year-olds were sexpots. They were trained.
Excuse me while I disconnect my telephonium.
The term “telephonium” is property of Viacom.
I decided when I was about 18 that purple dungarees would be cute.
I looked like a kindergarten TV presenter. With stubble.
I know.
You funny lady.
.-= Andrew Lightheart @alightheart´s last blog ..The Blog Police Can Suck It. =-.
Uh oh. You do not look old enough to blame that choice on the styles of the time when you were 18.
You better photoshop in some gray hair so you’re not held totally responsible for choosing purple pants in what I’m guessing were the late 90s.
I came to the USA on my 9th birthday (24 years,6 days ago), and I had no clue what brand name was. I didn’t know there was such a thing. Heck… I barely had jeans. I came from ISrael, where sandals, shorts, and a tank-top were considered perfectly fine fashion. This is not a good philosophy to have when you move to Boca Raton, Florida.
Apparently, people have money there, and the rage was Z-Cavaricci, Edwins, and…. oh heck.. I can’t remember. That’s the 2 brands I knew of. It wasn’t for a few years that I even realized there were brands. By 6th grade I had already learned English, and so now was able to understand all the taunts from the other kids…er… was able to communicate with the other children. Mom was still buying me my clothes. 1 day she got me a white shirt with random squiggles on it. I remember this one kid said “nice shirt!” — that was the 1st time in my life when someone complemented me on an item of clothing!
I hate to admit it, but I don’t think it was till late in highschool when I was buying my own clothes. It totally helped that I had a job at Merry Go Round, so could get 40% off my clothes, and have access to the latest fashions.
I think part of why I’m so crazy these days is because I had to deal with these torturous kids who knew what fashion was, and could understand the brainwashing on tv. I had my computers, video games, and imagination.
These days I own one pair of designer jeans… I got talked into it earlier this year, and it was a mistake… because shortly after spending the $150 on them, I lost 30 pounds in a month, and they fall off now. *Sigh*
At least I can dress up when I want to.
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Love this story, thank you.
Funny about Israel – I went there when my cousin got married and as I remember, sandals, shorts and tanktop were perfectly fine fashion not just for day, but for a wedding.
I can’t think of a crueler year than 6th grade. Those kids are the worst. I wouldn’t repeat it, even with the perfect jeans. But is it brainwashing from TV, or from just one or two alpha kids? I guess, ultimately, they get it from TV. It all comes down from the top.
30 pounds, wow.
I know! But only first names. And would you sue if I said you were a sexy ten-year-old? No, you’d thank me.
Not that you weren’t. But you weren’t an “L” or an “M.”
whoah! you named names!