The woman waiting for her cappuccino was standing at the counter, facing squarely into the work station, yelling to the barista.
“YEAH, NOW I’M RETHINKING IT, I’M RETHINKING THE WHOLE THING!”
Her cappuccino? She wanted to switch to a latte? But her tone wasn’t the slightly higher, “excuse me” pitch you use when you ask a barista to change your order. It was straight-out-there yelling over the noise, like they were friends. And yet the barista wasn’t acknowledging.
“I’M JUST REVISITING EVERYTHING ZACH EVER SAID. LIKE, HE NEVER JUST COMES OUT AND SAYS WHAT HE MEANS.”
Of course, this chick was just on her phone via earbuds. But it took a moment to put that together, because most people lower their voice self-consciously when they see people staring.
I was staring hard, since I consider myself invited to stare when someone shouts a conversation, phone or not. I’m now part of the dialog. You want me out of it, you have to look at me scoldingly and either start whispering or take it outside like it’s none of my business.
She never did that. While I gussied up my iced coffee (half a Splenda, then whole milk, then plastic lid, then straw and cardboard coffee sleeve that’s supposed to be for hot coffee but I like the buffer between cold wet cup and my hand), I got to hear much more about Zach.
“LIKE, ALSO, HERE’S THE THING ABOUT ZACH. HE DOESN’T PROVIDE CONTEXT. IT’S REALLY INCONSIDERATE AND SELF-CENTERED WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. LIKE, HE’LL SAY, GEORGE WAS FIRED TODAY. WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO GEORGE IS. GEORGE WHO? HOLD ON, I NEED TO ASK FOR MILK. HEY, THIS IS EMPTY, CAN I GET SOME MORE? NO NOT YOU, I’M GETTING MILK. SO LIKE, WHO’S GEORGE, RIGHT? JUST ‘GEORGE WAS FIRED.’ CONTEXT, PLEASE! IT’S SO ANNOYING BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU ADDRESS THAT.”
And then, as I followed her out the door, trying to hear more about Zach, she shot me a scolding look. Too late!
You shout, I get to listen.
Take Amtrak from NY to DC or vice versa and don’t sit in the “quiet car.” Hehe.
I overheard someone at Starbucks say (in an attempt to impress a girl), “Yeah, I can drink a lot for my age and my size.” I love overhearing people say the stuff they wish was true about themselves.
I love it when I see a couple walking toward me having an animated conversation, that moment when you intercept and get to hear a juicy moment of unexpected intimacy is fun. I am a full fledged relationship voyeur.
I’m with you! I like when they’re having a fight. I’m a squabble voyeur.
The problem with cell phones with ear piece microphones is that they make it harder to distinguish people talking on them from lunatics talking to themselves.
Whose conversation would you rather follow? A mundane person’s cell phone conversation or a lunatic’s conversation with himself and/or an indeterminate audience? I find that the dialogue of lunatics is more compelling because they usually have a great many false endings. Just when you think lunatics are finished ranting, they keep coming back with encore after encore.
I actually find the most compelling dialogue to be that of lunatics on cell phones. The ones who function in society, but are totally out of touch with reality and take no personal responsibility for any of their failings, which you can tell because they’re always shouting to someone on the other end, “THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!”