Sarah Palin is printing money with that stupid book of hers.
Know why?
Because she’s “polarizing.” Polarizing = $$$$.
So I’ve decided to become a polarizing figure, too.
I’m going to start an anti-licorice movement. Licorice is totally polarizing. Have you ever heard someone say, “when it comes to licorice, I can take it or leave it.” I bet you haven’t. Its either “I love licorice” or “I’d rather eat poop, then kill myself and burn in hell than eat licorice.”
That’s actually how I feel about licorice. So I would be well within my integrity to fight it. All the way to the Capital steps.
Then, whenever my name comes up, someone will say, “you either love her or you hate her.”
And when I publish my biography, “Licking Licorice,” millions of people will camp out in front of Borders just to meet me. Ladies wearing holiday sweatshirts and holding teddy bears will say to reporters, “I don’t know that much about the issues, but I know the government wants us to eat black jellybeans. Not in my America.” Then, they’ll point to my headshot on the back cover and add, “That’s why I support this good lady right here.”
Don’t worry, I won’t mess with Twizzlers. They’re red licorice, which you know isn’t really licorice.
Just thinking about black licorice makes me want to barf – Ditto anything made with anise…
Chocolate twizzlers, though… yum…
I’m guessing Palin LOVES black licorice – just one more thing to hate about her!
There’s a reason anise is called anise. If you thought up a name that close to “anus”, wouldn’t you give it to a root that tastes like crap?
It’s a serious disappointment that after bonding all these years over black olives and dark chocolate we should part over the licorice question. I’ll forgive you if you promise to save me the black jelly beans.
I guess it was bound to happen that someone in our family would like licorice. There’s probably one in every family.
The black jelly beans will be waiting for you, but I’ll have to ask you to eat them outside.
Mmm…I’d like some black licorice jelly beans right now.
Why are you against me?
Thanks for the laugh. Love twizzlers but boy do I hate black licorice. I always have.
Cannot wait for the biography 😉
.-= Tricia´s last blog ..The Holiday Season… A time for Gratitude or Unsolicited Advice/Ridicule =-.
At 16 I worked in an ice cream parlor. Sometimes we had black licorice flavor, BLECK! I used to hate it. My hands would end up coated with sticky black residue as I scraped around the bottom of the vat with my ice cream scoop. It was all I could do not to wrinkle my nose in disgust as I plopped that scoop on the sugar wafer cone.
When I need my red licorice fix I eat a piece of Kookaburra licorice. It’s the most juicy, chewy, satisfying strawberry goodness ever. Total heaven. They have the black stuff too. Wouldn’t touch it with my worst enemy’s ten foot pole. But it’s available. I hear they have chocolate covered too.
Licorice ice cream is an abomination. Seems unfair to take up a tub’s worth of space with something so wrong. I feel like mint chip – which I like – is divisive enough.
Your worst enemy’s ten foot pole is probably made of black licorice.
Being a talking shrimp is very polarizing in itself.
Why did linda evans work in an ice cream store, I thought she was rich from all her Dynasty money?
Ha! No, the real Linda Evans is working at Mrs. Fields. She blew all that TV money on cookies and now has to work off her debt.
Somebody needs to inform Ms. Palin that her 15 minutes of fame expired several months ago. I can’t imagine the ravenous PR team required to keep her in the news. This is what happens when politics and blue-collar comedy meet.
When you say stupid enough shit, you get an extra 15 minutes.
I can’t complain, the comedy is too good.