With Sandy Duncan’s name all over the news this week, I couldn’t help but think of — and miss — my husband’s mom, who was a big fan.
OK, minor correction: Sandy Duncan wasn’t exactly all over the news. I happened to see her name in one lone New York Times article about Wheat Thins, which, as the snack cracker’s former TV spokesperson, is one of three things Sandy Duncan has been known for since the late 70s. The other two are her roles in Peter Pan, the musical, and “The Hogan Family,” the sitcom.
Another correction: Steven’s mom, Ann Eckler, wasn’t actually a big fan of Sandy Duncan. But she was hilarious, and one of my favorite things she ever said was about Sandy Duncan.
Before Ann died at 83, we used to visit her in Florida a couple of times a year. There was nothing to do there but eat, watch the property fountain go off at exactly 4pm each day, and nap in the “Florida Room” with a fleece blanket Ann made us use because she thought we looked cold. “Here, put this on. It’s warm as toast.”
The real highlights of going were Ann’s homemade Italian plum cake (Steven tried unsuccessfully to make her call it “Droppin’ a Plum Cake”) and the things Ann said. I thought I’d use the flimsy premise of Sandy Duncan and Wheat Thins to share a couple of her greatest hits.
On Sandy Duncan
When an ad came on TV for local dinner theater starring Sandy Duncan, Steven said, “Hey look, Mom, it’s your favorite! Sandy Duncan!” His mom rolled her eyes and said, with a dismissive wave of the hand, “Sandy Duncan. I like her as a person, but she should just knock it off.”
Knock what off? Nothing.
That’s the beauty of it. She also said it once when Fergie, Duchess of York, appeared on the news. “That Fergie. She should just knock it off.”
On Vero Beach, Florida
She called it “Zero Beach.” She hated the place, but lived there for her health and to be with her sisters. They all lived in the same retirement compound, called “Grove Isle.” (Which, unfortunately, sounds just like “Grow Vile.”) Steven and I were restless during a visit and asked what anyone did around there.
Her answer: “The young ones steal, and the old ones drive into ditches. Oh, Steven, be careful driving! I don’t want you to end up in a ditch!”
On big cocks
Ann had a collection of ceramic roosters around the kitchen, and Steven would try to trick her into saying something dirty about them, but she never bit.
STEVEN: “Hey Mom, I see you have some new cocks in the kitchen. What about that big black cock, is that new?”
ANN: “Oh, I’ve had that black one for a while.”
STEVEN: “You really like those big cocks, don’t you Mom?”
ANN: “Oh, Steven. Everyone in Florida likes roosters.”
On Badcock
There was a store along the highway called Badcock Furniture. Every time we drove past it, Steven would say, “Hey Mom, what do you think they sell there?” “Exactly what the sign says, Steven. Bad cock.”
I don’t know if Steven’s mom translates on the page, but if you watch this video you’ll see she was right about one thing: Sandy Duncan really should just knock it off.
I am laughing, thank you so much, I love you…..Phyllis
Aw. Thanks for reading! I was hoping you’d like it. Your mom was the best. Love you too.
I am laughing, thank you so much, I love you…..Phyllis
Aw. Thanks for reading! I was hoping you’d like it. Your mom was the best. Love you too.
I’m sorry I never got to meet Ann. She sounds like she was one of those women who others referred to as “a real firecracker!” She must have told her cocksure son to knock it off.
Sandy’s boots are pretty cool.
Oh she was! She was also “a remarkable woman.” That’s the other thing lively old people are called. Yeah, it’s too bad you never met her. And she did tell Steven to knock it off. One time, when she told him to stop using the sink cleaner as a countertop cleaner, he kept on spraying and said, “can I use it as a dessert topping?” She said, “I wish you would!”
I’m sorry I never got to meet Ann. She sounds like she was one of those women who others referred to as “a real firecracker!” She must have told her cocksure son to knock it off.
Sandy’s boots are pretty cool.
Oh she was! She was also “a remarkable woman.” That’s the other thing lively old people are called. Yeah, it’s too bad you never met her. And she did tell Steven to knock it off. One time, when she told him to stop using the sink cleaner as a countertop cleaner, he kept on spraying and said, “can I use it as a dessert topping?” She said, “I wish you would!”
In 2050, which celebs will we all want to knock it off? Mostly former reality stars, I think.
The ones we want to knock it off right now. Like Snooki. I fear she’ll still need to knock it off in 40 years.
In 2050, which celebs will we all want to knock it off? Mostly former reality stars, I think.
The ones we want to knock it off right now. Like Snooki. I fear she’ll still need to knock it off in 40 years.
I can’t believe I’ve never heard ‘Zero Beach’ after all my years of visiting. My great aunt lives at Grove Isle. I’m fondly picturing the fountain right now…
You’ve spent time at Grow Vile? No way. Maybe your great aunt bought her condo from Steven’s aunt, who’s the local real estate mogul.
I can’t believe I’ve never heard ‘Zero Beach’ after all my years of visiting. My great aunt lives at Grove Isle. I’m fondly picturing the fountain right now…
You’ve spent time at Grow Vile? No way. Maybe your great aunt bought her condo from Steven’s aunt, who’s the local real estate mogul.
you are too funny, cut it out. that phrase is first cousins with knock it off. in case…anyway, thanks!
Cut it off and knock it out are the inbred children of those cousins.
I think they’re related to I. Cutchacockoff.
you are too funny, cut it out. that phrase is first cousins with knock it off. in case…anyway, thanks!
Cut it off and knock it out are the inbred children of those cousins.
I think they’re related to I. Cutchacockoff.
And why the heck did Ed McMahon say “witchcraft”?
Because he’s drunk. If he’d been sober, he would have said something clever like “injun-uity.”
And why the heck did Ed McMahon say “witchcraft”?
Because he’s drunk. If he’d been sober, he would have said something clever like “injun-uity.”
Oh, man. I loved all of this. I just may invent a relative who said that and adopt the story as my own. (Try and stop me. I’m all the way over here. Ha!) Sorry. Uncalled for. I should just knock it off.
Go right ahead! Do a Japanese Ann Eckler. She should do very well in foreign markets.
Oh, man. I loved all of this. I just may invent a relative who said that and adopt the story as my own. (Try and stop me. I’m all the way over here. Ha!) Sorry. Uncalled for. I should just knock it off.
Go right ahead! Do a Japanese Ann Eckler. She should do very well in foreign markets.
ok. she should knock it off, but you gotta give it to her, she can dance
That’s something Steven’s mom would have said. “She can dance, I’ll give her that.”
ok. she should knock it off, but you gotta give it to her, she can dance
That’s something Steven’s mom would have said. “She can dance, I’ll give her that.”
The best thing about that Sandy Duncan clip is the quick cutaway in the middle of the routine to a befuddled Ed McMahon.
Another one who needs to knock it off!
I think he did.
The best thing about that Sandy Duncan clip is the quick cutaway in the middle of the routine to a befuddled Ed McMahon.
Another one who needs to knock it off!
I think he did.
I presume that when she said various celebrities should knock it off, what she meant was that they should stop penetrating her thoughts.
You’re probably right. When you get to be that age, more obscure celebrities find their way into your head. You can keep out thoughts of Sandy Duncan by learning a new language, or playing Sudoku.