Action Park was a water park in New Jersey that deservedly earned the nickname “Accident Park” or, alternately, “Class Action Park.”
Having gone there once a summer to slide head-first down their uninspected concrete water slides, with some fat kid crashing into us from behind every time, it’s a miracle my sister and I are both alive today. I’ll bet one out of every 20 kids who went there left with a missing finger or a split head.
I was looking for a different version of the Action Park commercial, where my sister, then age 8 or so, appears for a fraction of a second plunging into the water.
I think she’s driving a bumper boat or a “water car” or something that I was too chicken to get in myself. I had this notion that a person was more likely to die on that ride than on my favorite, where a tube shoots you out 10 feet over the water like a human cannonball.
Although I couldn’t dig up the ad with my sis in it, I struck gold with this spot. You can’t beat the old people in the middle, with pants up to their necks. Lordy knows why Action Park makes them feel like they’re visiting Broadway – maybe they ran into Tyne Daly on the Tarzan Swing – but I’d like to point out that they pronounce it the same way my dad does: BroadWAY.
Make sure and watch till the end, or you’ll miss the super-enthusiastic serial killer.