Where did this blank is the new blank thing start?
Was it “brown is the new black” circa 1994? That’s when I first heard it, and I obeyed by replacing all my black accessories with brown.
Black boots? Tacky! Brown boots. Good.
I hate that saying. Or is it a meme? Is meme the new saying?
Maybe I hate it because I don’t like change. I like the old thing. But I also hate it because everyone says it, and it’s the stuff of smug magazine editors and the idiotic NY Times Styles section. Which of course, is the only section I ever finish reading.
50 is the new 40.
40 is the new 10.
Baths are the new shower.
Queens is the new Brooklyn.
Yoga is the new running.
Soul Cycle is the new yoga.
Grape tomatoes are the new cherry tomatoes.
Fiddleheads are the new ramps.
Butt is the new boob.
Ice Bucket Challenge is the new Harlem Shake.
Meh is the new so-so.
Orange Is The New Black is the new meh.
(I really wanted it to be better. I watched it anyway.
Maybe meh-watching is the new hate-watching.)
Nothing is the new oy, and nothing ever will be.
What ___ is the new ____ do you like or hate?
Or rant about something else.
Or you know what? Ask me a question. Maybe it’ll be my next blog post.
DO IT, TELL ME, GET ALL UP IN THE COMMENTS!