Do you suffer from FYPPS?
Ever since I stepped into this online business world in 2009, I’ve noticed a pattern I found sad.
I call it the “Find Your Passion Pyramid Scheme.” Or, FYPPS, pronounced “fips.”
No one’s designed it as a scheme. There’s no Bernie Madoff behind it.
What makes it run?
Human nature. In particular, these parts of it: envy, ADD, impatience, temptation, fear, internet addiction. Which didn’t used to be part of human nature but now it is.
COVER-MY-ASS CLAUSES:
A) I think it’s great to make money online. And to make money doing what you love. I think people who teach people how to do that well are the shit. The bee’s balls. Some of the ones I allude to below are smart and fantastic.
And, in fact, part of my business is helping people make money online and/or doing what they love — by writing better about what they do. I’m proud of it. It’s (mostly) fun.
The part I think is sad is when people give up what they really wanted to do, in order to coach other people to do what they want to do. Which is kind of like what my classmate Mandy* used to say her dad did: “He teaches teachers who teach teachers to teach at Teacher’s College.”
Note: If your job is a tongue twister, maybe you went off course.
B) I’m guilty of some of these things myself. I admit it, I’ve never found a way to make money doing what I really want to do: write Facebook posts while watching Real Housewives Of New York while eating ice cream that I metabolize like it’s romaine lettuce. It’s my “someday” dream.
And, sometimes, I toy with learning how to do webinars, or maybe even mastering webinars about webinars.
C) Given the above, this post might be a perfect demonstration of the following process. How meta.
D) Even though I call it both a pyramid and a cycle, as well as a process, I do have a basic understanding of geometry. (A process has 9 sides, two of them parallel.)
Now that I’ve C’d my A, here’s how FYPPS works in 20 steps.
1a) “This job is soul-sucking. I need to find my passion — line of shape wear like Spanx, but for fat calves? Children’s parties? Hand-knit booties for labradoodles? — and then make a living at it.”
or
1b) “I’m a talented artist. Everyone says my canvasses are better than Picasso’s. It’s time to paint them full time and make money from them and be a real artist, dammit.”
2) Google Google Google, “Oooh, a blog that teaches you to make money doing what you love.”
3) Click link, click link, “Oooh, look at all these coaches who teach you to make money doing what you love. Count me in! Sign me up! Hey boss, I won’t be coming in tomorrow because I QUIT! Bold action? Check! Leap of faith? Check!”
4) Descend into internet hole of madness.
5) Opt in to every list for every free goodie. 5 Ways To Find Your Passion. 10 Mistakes You’re Making That Keep You From Profiting From Your Purpose. Instantly Unleash Your Inner Authentic Amazeballs Awesomeness.
6) Upgrade to the 8-week paid version, Instantly Unleash Your Inner Authentic Amazeballs Awesomeness 8-Week Playshop (Because It Won’t Feel Like Work!) The program culminates in a retreat where you’re forced to pole dance in your most decadent, luxurious underwear. Find this humiliating but reframe it as “spirit-nourishing” and “best thing you’ve ever done.”
7) Buy every business book. Wack off to Gary Vaynerchuck. Search for your WHY. Journal your Essential MostWanted Feelings.
8) Set up website to showcase your art or your new thing.
9) Declare to world, “I’m an entrepreneur!” Call people who dare ask if you make money “non-believers” or “underminers.” They are “thinking small.”
10) Comment madly on blogs of other entrepreneurs. Retweet them, repost them, tweet @ them, tag them, stalk them. Declare your biz crush.
11) Write blog posts for other entrepreneurs, rather than for people who might buy your thing. Your first blog post: “Dare To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone.” Next one: “Why Failure IS An Option.” Next one: “My Most Vulnerable Post Yet.”
12) Grow your list…of people who do just what you do, which is try to figure out how to make money doing what they love.
13) Sign up for webinars about webinars. And then the product that shows you how to make money making webinars. Ask your mastermind group what they think of your idea for a webinar. Shelve that idea for later, because you’re still not sure what you’re selling at the end of a webinar.
14) Become obsessed with marketing. Give your good friend who’s a lizard trainer a bunch of ideas on getting more lizard-owner clients, even though she’s fully booked till 2018. Tweet to Burger King and Jet Blue that they’re “doing it wrong.”
15) Newsletter: “Hey, [FIRSTNAME], I have an embarrassing confession.”
(The confession is, “I’ve been hiding my awesomeness from the world” or “I was afraid to share my favorite course [affiliate link] but then I realized I was doing you a disservice.”)
16) Decide that becoming the next Picasso or the next Spanx is going to take years, and you’ll probably fail. Coaching and business programs — that’s where it’s at. Showing people how to become the next Spanx or the modern-day, more profitable Picasso, maybe. (Idea for product: “Gallery, Shmallery: How To Become An Art World Star On Your Terms Using Etsy”)
17) When you say you teach artists how to make a living selling their art and someone asks if you’ve made a living selling YOUR art, tell them to fuck off and then unfriend them. Those people don’t get you, because they’re “thinking small.”
18) Post pictures of your feet in a hammock, with the stunning-blue Mediterranean just beyond. Caption: “My office today! #LOVEMYJOB #GRATEFUL”
19) 4 years later, go to an art museum, or to Ricky’s to buy a pair of Spanx, and wonder if maybe you should go back to that original idea.
20) Scrap the whole biz and start from scratch. Or announce your sabbatical from “the grid.” Cycle complete.
COMMENT TIME!
Uh oh….are you afraid to comment here now? Don’t worry, it doesn’t make you a victim of FYPPS.
So tell me: have you observed the FYPPS phenomenon? Have you fallen prey to it? What steps did I leave out?
ps – Any aspiring Picassos/ Canva experts want to make an info graphic to go with this? I’d love it and cherish it and maybe auction it at Christies one day and give you a cut.
UPDATE – I wrote this a couple of years ago and I’m still waiting for a brilliant infographic. Come on, people!
Omfgggg do have a brain scanner? This is me. Literally every day. Where is my solution tho????
Maybe I’ll make the Canva Info graphic and become a canva artist and then teach people how to
create a profitable business selling canva art.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE, LAURA? I think I have to leave the “F” out of “LIFE” because I’ve been lying to myself so much.
I used to think I hated people because they were mean to me. I lost every speech contest I entered. In 8th grade, when I tried to become president of the student council, some other chick who’d never even been a member beat me. At the last minute, people I thought were my friends turned against me. I went into hiding.
I started my online business in 2014 — teaching people to become proofreaders from home, which is what I’d been doing since 2011. I’ve made more than $5M teaching something I WAS NOT passionate about doing (proofreading), but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that *HOW* I was selling it mattered to people. It’s valuable.
I’d spent a lot of time complaining about all the coaches coaching coaches on how to coach coaches to coach coaches… in fact; I’d spent time complaining about a lot of other things, and whenever I decided to stop complaining about it and DO something, awesome shit happened. Every time. Now I use things I don’t like as part of my message. All those stories in my past MATTER. People don’t buy my products; they buy ME. THAT’S how I’ve been able to sell so much — even though in many ways I was still hiding from my tribe out of fear they wouldn’t like the real me.
Now I’m opening up more and more. I’m pitching Joe Rogan, Ellen DeGeneres, and several others — but not in the way I would’ve pitched them before. I’m just treating them like humans BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE. I think the biggest problem humans have when they want to make money is that they don’t realize they’re human… and as a result don’t treat others like they’re humans. The communication is disjointed and fake. NOT authentic. I see right through it every day; as I’ve grown into a position of influence myself over the years, I see people do it to me ALL the time.
So I’m stepping up. No more silence. If I raise my LOUD, FAST voice and people shy away, GOOD. Let them go. It leaves room for more of the people that speak my language… and gives them an opportunity to find a voice they understand.
THANK YOU so much for this post!!! Spirit animals.
Not sure whether to laugh or have a panic attack…
I am hardcore in the midst of this cycle.
The real question is how the heck do you break out? Is there a support group? A PDF download? A course I can take? 😉
hahahaha – SOO true, hence funny. I needed to read this. Thank you for making me feel sane for thinking all of this feels insane. Ahhhh the peace of doing a simple thing really well -(sans webinars about webinars).
I thought I wanted to make a kinda big business making Cocktail bags and all the other things I love to make by hand. I’ve signed up for all the freebies but can never afford to do the upgrade, which makes me think that the reason I’m failing is because the answer is in all those courses I’m missing out on.
So maybe I’m just gonna be that woman who makes all the things and occasionally sells something. I’m just working out how I feel about that.
A proper coach would help… Maybe I’ll head on over a certain website and binge watch videos!
“Wack off to Gary Vaynerchuck” made me snort and cringe at the same time.
hashtaganythingispossible.
Hi Laura,
I have just spent 6 months on the FYPPS monorail and stepped off depressed and disillusioned with crazy hair and wild eyes. Yesterday I finally plucked the Content Marketing I.V. (unsubscribed) from my arm for all but 3 because I really feel that I receive concrete information from them (and they amuse me as a bonus). I’m just going to blog about the shit I want to blog about and hope the withdrawal isn’t too harsh or long lasting.
I’m going back to just drinking the coffee and doing the thing.
Thank you, Laura.
Ruthie
This post made me sad because I must suffer from FYPPS. And what’s worse, there’s no take-away cure or solution. I admit to friends and family and strangers alike that I am obsessed with online influence entrepreneurship. Is that a thing? I just made it up. I trust that I was drawn to it recovering from my own quarter-life crisis and had a cosmic connection with my to-be coach. Her program was life-transformational and I have a crazy attachment to online coaching now. I see myself in it yet now I’m staring at the program trying to get the guts to put my work out there, too. That was kinda the whole point. My dream? Way too convoluted to couple it with my fantasy to have a biz online. In the meantime? I can run a program teaching others how to get out of their funk because I got out of mine that could LEAD to my dream life and least move me from obsessed might-be to actual-be. Other than that, I don’t have a biz strategy. It’s that or a miracle because I’m so full of 9-5 hate-rhetoric from FYPPS that I’m convinced this is the way.
Laura. You’re the shit. Thank you.
So refreshing to see the exact same things I’m thinking are felt by someone else. All this stuff feels so inescapable online, and I needed an ally on this… I was starting to think maybe I actually didn’t know F’ing Sh** about growing a business, because apparently I’ve been missing the most critical elements of ALL: “mindset, authenticity, and keeping the space for my true desires.” UGH. WHAT THE F.
I needed this today.
Brilliant and what a relief to read this!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I now feel I can close the 37 browser tabs I have open with information that I thought I couldn’t live without.
And I’ve been saying to myself, this smells fishy! If these marketing experts assure me that their method will make my project a success, why don’t they apply it to their own projects???
Is it that they don’t have brilliant ideas like mine for projects or is it that they are just taking advantage of hopeful helpless human souls?
I am going on an information diet starting right now!!!!
Thanks again for your fresh perspective 🙂
Hahahaha!! OMG you are SO right!!! I am creating a business where I help fiction writers write novels… and I’m not working on my fucking novel when I should be! Goddamn this was good. Thank you so much for the kick in the ass!
Holy crap…I am laughing so hard. I am in the late stages, burned out and suffering from total overwhelmia, doubting my stamina to get my genius to market!
Great post, I really got a good chuckle from it!
I love the word overwhelmia!
Laura Laura – gotta adore her! Said quickly it almost rhymes. It did wonder if anyone online actually has a business that’s not about being in business to tell other about how to do the business in business. My graphic would include a incestuous circle of people playing pass the parcel with productivity tools and top 7 lists trying to lure in unsuspecting newbies to groom them into compliant buyers of advice they will never use…grubby
I know this cycle all too well and am now in the phase of WTF was I thinking and for the love of GOD would everyone just chill the F out about how to make money online… and start creating things that matter. Even if it only matters to them. (There’s something hollow about the FYPPS).
LOVE THIS and needed it. I am at the announcing sabbatical from the grid part lol;) In all seriousness, this whole pattern was setting me on the path to burnout. Its sucks that some of these tactics work, because then it’s hard to not use them. But in the end, I’ve decided to ask myself, “What feels good and brings more flow and ease into my life?” And THAT’S all I’m going to freakin do. I can’t play the game of that list – it isn’t sustainable for me.
And I am so glad that you’ve seen it so many times that you can call out the pattern! It makes me feel so not alone. I am just glad that I didn’t go the route of teaching people to make money online via switching to biz coaching instead of doing what I’m really good at, which is coaching women on freedom and adventure.
I agree that the saddest part is when people stop doing what they really wanted to be doing so they can make more money online – and fool themselves into thinking it’s such a nice surprise to find themselves loving teaching online marketing (when they haven’t made that much as a coach to begin with!). I am determined to remain an example of someone who is successful as a coach without making all my money teaching people how to become successful as a coach lol!
Thanks for your wit and wisdom;)
How do I keep falling in love with you?
Magic…pure magic.
And I so needed THIS right now. It’s only been in the last year that I have fallen prey to inhaling everything I can about online marketing. Although I’ve found the real dealios in this biz, it’s overwhelming. Even though I can solve most marketing/PR issues, I fear I’ll always trade time for money (gasp!) and never learn how to turn social media followers into leads (double gasp!).
And can we stop talking about “finding your passion” and how if you’re in business to “make a lot of money” you’ll “always struggle” if you’re not “serving the world.” Let’s start talking about the dark side of business, and sticking with it even when you don’t want to because you need/want to meet financial goals. Or you want to be a bigger contributor to your household in order to pay off debt, buy a bigger house, add to your retirement, start a college fund for your niece and nephew, etc.
I would love to see more people write/talk about how to get through the low times of running a business.
“Sign up for webinars about webinars”
I almost chocked on my cereal!
When I began to see so-called “marketing experts” promoting these things, I started completely ignoring every single piece of “common” business advice online.
There are really too many trends, and too many people that think they should get paid $200 an hour for teaching some idoit how to operate the facebook.
And it all ties into this pyramid scheme.
Desperation + greed + impatience = quick money. Ask any con man, and he’ll tell you.
Funny. I got all wrapped up in the whole online marketing thing, meanwhile keeping my “day job” – a brick and mortar bodywork practice which I built to over six figures. Yes, all the while thinking, “I need to get on this internet marketing thing.” How did I do it? It was really unconventional. I worked my ass off.
For real though if we can figure out how to metabolize ice cream like it’s romaine lettuce that could be a multiple seven-figure business!!!
Imagine all the before/after pic possibilities!
Love you long time.
Love you even longer time.
If we can figure that out, we’ll put fitness experts out of business. Are you comfortable with that?
Of course you are, we can give them all a cut of our jazillions.
Help! I’m on about step 12. (Although I refuse to use the word “vulnerable” in any of my posts.) I can see the craziness, but I’m being sucked in. How do I stop the sucking???
Ha! When I first started with this whole online business shebang my husband shook his head at the thought of me spending thousands upon thousands of dollars learning how to do this and said “this sounds like a pyramid scheme.”
I laughed in his face and told him he’s “thinking small”.
Since then, I’ve actually realized he was right, in some odd twisted way. I’m sending him this now, of course – for some good laughs, even if they might be at my expense.
I was tempted to join in on this pyramid scheme for a bit, but no. I’m staying away from marketing, copywriting, and all of that stuff I’m just moderately good at. After all, by teaching creative grasshoppers how to be productive without too much structure I’m still helping them grow their businesses.
So I guess indirectly I’m a part of it after all. Dang. Just can’t stay away.
OMG! I am laughing so loud here my kids may wake up!!!
This is priceless!
May I offer another point? (it will not be described accurately or amazingly like yours, but I feel so inspired):
Create “filters” to successfully manage your mail boxes!
Have a mailbox for “Big Shots” (in case they will send you something amazing),
then one for “B-Schoolers-I-know” (because you feel guilty unsubscribing from them),
then one for “Pinterest notifications” (these you don’t have to read-phew!),
and last bit not least (because this is the beginning, anyway): “I-want-to-read”.
In one week accumulate around 400 messages, and read 4. (all Danielle LaPorte’s ThruthBombs) You can always go back and touch base with the rest 396. Till they become 816, an then you just do a “group delete”, because you are so far behind (and all the webinar links expired anyway), that this is the only thing that could be approved by the laws of attraction (the kind that work!).
You create one more mail address, and start from scratch… (in your dreams…)
F*CK YAY! Wow, I usually don’t let the f word digitally slip out but THIS IS SO GOOD! Thank you for writing this, I don’t have to do it anymore:) All of this has been rolling thru my head and heart recently and I’ve been wanting to get clearer on what part I actually want to be part of it all. This is SO good, SO grateful!!!
a) that was fantastically funny
b) one of my greatest fears is that I look like I’ve done this just because I started out thinking I wanted to sell my art and ended up realizing I don’t like selling it (hell, sometimes I don’t even like making it) even though I’m good at it. What I do like? Telling other people what to do. And I’m good at that too.
Bonus c) I’m actually a bit terrified to post this honest statement for fear of too much scrutiny and lots of people telling me I’m a poser. As much as I know Laura B. would tell me not to worry about what other people think, I can’t help it! More human nature stuff?
You didn’t mention how you’re going to start your 6-Figure-A-Month podcast!
And how much action do I need to take to make passive income?
Can I be on your next telesummit?!
I’m gonna take a deep breath here and be vulnerable: I love this, and possibly, you. However, my fucks-given graph looks more like an echocardiogram, also my negroni consumption (essentially the same graph). I was wondering if you could comment on that (am I doing it wrong???)
Anyway, I couldn’t find the link to your webinar anywhere in this post.. ??
😉
Pretty much guilty of all of the above! Except I never really cared about the 6 figures. Did a spoof myself on this FYPPS phenomena!
http://www.loransheart.com/i-have-the-answer-to-all-your-problems/
Moving in another direction for my own sense of satisfaction and need to help others. Ignoring the rest.
Thanks for this post, though. It’s great!
God damn it. This is 100% true.
Hilarious. And Brilliant. You nailed everything I hate about coaching in this. Love!
This made me giggle like a naughty school girl caught with a boy in the girls school toilets (that was never me!).
I’ve been observing these cycles and watching with bemusement wondering if anyone else can see it. That said, some of these people are making a shit load of money with their insightful authenticity and kudos to them for it.
Years ago I did the Myers Briggs personality testing and was told that I was the type that no one bothers to take into consideration when marketing, as said type (can’t remember which combo it was now) were not affected by marketing. I guess what they actually meant was ‘you see through the bullshit’.
This reminds me of the books I’m currently reading. I reckon you, I, and seemingly the rest of your commenters, would make a great Divergent Faction. (If you’ve not read Divergent watch the film)
My name’s Lottie and I see through the FYPPS.
(even though it took me three scrolls up this page to get those 5 letters in the right order).
I FLOVE you!
I am learning the intricacies of making money while watching TV, Tweeting, and eating cookies. So far it’s been more fulfilling than anything else (Sorry husband and kids and food bank people I help every week.It’s not you; it’s me.). Hell, yeah, I’mma make a webinar when I figure this out. I’ll be glad to give you a free 15 minute consult, BelJeezy.
I never had ADD until the internet. My internet was down for 2 days, and I re-built a 67 Mustang in my kitchen…honey is your lube-y friend. But, when the internet is up, I find myself sinking into the vortex. The internet has taught me so many things about myself.
Did you know I have prostate cancer? #PrayForTange is my official hashtag for the Twitter Party/ KickStarter.
I’ve been chipping away, bit by bit, at making money with funny ideas, stories, concepts, etc… and it’s working. WHO KNEW.
I am a self-promotion Yoda…so, I help people with that, but it is not my BIG ASS THING I WANNA BE KNOW FOR DAMMIT.
Best thing I did was quit doing shizz I hated… just to be doing it.
After my 15 minutes of D-List Internet Fame *no photos please* I learned this: You can spend 10 years pursuing your BIG DREAM or you can waste 10 years trying to hide from it..either way you’re 10 years older. I’d rather be the official comedian for the AARP, than dying inside wondering if I coulda made it 🙂
Love you, Bel to Tha Grizay. More people need to slow down and do their thing instead of comparing themselves to errrbody else.
You are my greatest inspiration. I am first in line to be your ONLY 1-1 client (because that’s not what you want to do, but you want to do it for me) as soon as you figure out the get-paid-while-watching-crap-you-love gambit. Is there a funnel?
Having no internet or shooting meth are the two only ways to get shit done.
I once found out from the internet that I had gum cancer. Turned out to be a grain of black pepper.
Wait, you better be kidding about prostate cancer.
And I love you back, Tangizzy!
You’re bloody funny! And bang on.
This was a fun read 🙂
Why thank you. Glad you read it.
This is the best thing I’ve ever read at 4:58 in the morning. You have saved me from going deeper into A Course About Copy, which, ironically, is a B School grad’s latest offer. (Sorry Nikki Elledge Brown).
Oh wait now, good copy will always serve you, no matter what you do! If you paid for that course, use it. Nikki’s an excellent teacher.
But if you were just using it as PDR (procrastination disguised as research, my biggest weakness) go do what you really need to do!
There is to touch a sore point but then there is to kick it what you did. You kicked me and that knocked me into a hours long conversation with my husband and I nearly couldn’t sleep all night.
The thing is that why should everybody turn they’re passion into profit? Isn’t it enough and great just to be passionate about something and bathe in that passion and just have fun?
I have been unable to enjoy any hobbies for a few years now, because the pressure of “turn that into profit and make money out off that and this”.
Is that a waste of money and money if something would just be a enjoyable hobby? (I accidentally first wrote hobbit… Yes I just want to be an enjoyable hobbit)
Whoops, didn’t mean to kick. At least i don’t wear stilettos.
Not everybody should turn their passion into profit. Thought it’s great to be passionate about your work. And, if you can make money from doing what you most love to do, GREAT. The sad part is when that leads to never doing what you most love to do because you get caught up in the swirl of what looks like easier money.
You definitely have enough comments here, but I just can’t help myself.
You pegged me. Well, part of me (the secret part). I wouldn’t claim to be so googly-eyed for that stuff, but dang if I didn’t spend an hour after midnight watching Frank Kern. (Actually, that was the night before. Last night I was just mesmerized reading his super long, eternal copy. Finally, I snapped out of it and said “what am I doing?”
It all started years ago when I just started subscribing to everyone, and then everyone they mentioned. So I found out that they all knew each other and it was kind of a big ring.
Even though I don’t read any of them anymore, I can never bring myself to unsubscribe (just in case there’s something good in there. lol.)
So now I just scroll to Seth Godin and Gary V. (and Chris Brogan)
(and sometimes Marie Forleo)
(and maybe Jeff Goins)
(but never Jeff Johnson and Jeff Walker, I get those guys mixed up… too many Jeffs saying the same thing.)
(and not Mike Filsame and Andy Jenkins any more, although those guys do good videos.)
(and not Mike Koenigs anymore either, although he’s a good guy.)
(but always Laura Belgray 🙂
and that’s not even 10% of what I have to scroll through.
Dang, I’m doing it again. What time is it? 1:04 am
I’m done. Good night.
I watched Frank Kern too! I am powerless to resist him. And he makes it sound so darn easy. “This is just a matter of clicking some buttons.” Wait, you have to write 20 pieces of hypnotic, irresistible content – did he mention that?
And I think I’ve had every one of those people come into my junk-i’m-still-gonna-read-or-at-least-save inbox.
Not that it’s all junk, but it’s junk to me if I watch/ read/ buy and never put it into action. Stuff you indulge in from gurus that you don’t act on = mentortainment.
Mentortainment! Great word!
As always, you are amazing and have me laughing.
This is so so true especially in certain communities and it makes me want to take my business completely offline sometimes. Though I put it online because I wanted more people to have access to what I do (only a verrry small number of people are qualified teachers of what I teach). Sighs.
By all means, keep it online! Just don’t give it up for teaching others to teach what you teach instead of just teaching what you teach. (Unless that’s what you really want to teach.) Wha?
Hilarious intervention! Love it!
Sales funnel. Is it just me that wishes we could find a phrase that doesn’t sound so…personal? As in “He touched me in my sales funnel” or “You show me your sales funnel and I’ll show you mine?”
Besides which, the correct use of “funnel” IMO is when it is combined with the word “cake.”
Maybe it is just me.
Thank you for another great post of shrimposity.
I agree about funnel. To me, it sounds impersonal and grotesque – like a wood chipper that people get poured into and then come out like that pink slime that goes into chicken mcnuggets.
But then there’s the appealing side: the cake aspect you mentioned. That makes it sound kinda good.
Like this: http://hateandanger.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/human-meat-grinder-culturally-diverse-people-in-obedient-workers-out.jpg
Holy crap! Thank you for expressing what I’ve been thinking. I can’t even begin to thank you. I could kiss your little shrimp (wait – that sounds creepy). In any case, big thanks!
You know I like creepy. Kiss them shrimp.
Yes, hysterical, love it! We should talk…
Genius!
Absolutely on the mark…
If there was a profile pic to accompany this, her eyes would be looking joyfully at the heavens above while appearing to be laughing at a joke that only she could hear on her passionate journey to share what scares and amazes her each and every day, all the way to the bank, of course… #trite
Yes! Something tells me you’d like this post. http://talkingshrimp.wpengine.com/10-familiar-faces
I’m with you, all the way to the last dot. It’s a bs racket, filled with sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Of course some of it’s for real…but there’s a trail of not broken, but maybe half-attempted-and-then-abandoned, dreams swept up in its strong current.
“Wack off to Gary Vaynerchuck and Seth Godin.”
Genius.
You know they’re in a sticky centerfold somewhere.
Too funny. You articulated perfectly something I’ve noticed but really didn’t know how to describe. Thanks, Laura.
Now you do! Permission to use the term “FYPPS.” (I’m trying to spread it, like “fetch.”
Spot.on. So much. This. Amazeballs. [still laughing] [and maybe crying] [a little]
[Enjoying your reaction] [very much]
Fucking hilarious. You and the FYPPSers. Thanks for another laugh Laura.
Thanks, Lane!
You’re AMAZEBALLS.
No, YOU are.
I know you’re married and all, but I love you for this.
My husband and I have an understanding. I am allowed to be loved online by like-minded entrepreneurs.
Laura, thank you!
I’m lmao!!
This is quite interesting, and my story was very different in the beginning …
First I was passionate about being passionate and finding away to live with freedom.
Then I got anxiety and depression when I couldn’t figure it out.
Then I figured out how to beat anxiety and depression by doing things I’m passionate about.
Then I started helping people do the same, then I discovered life coaching and said, yes, that’s what I am!
Then I helped other people get into businesses they loved (not online – think Beer Brewery) and only because it’s what came out that that was what they really wanted.
Then I realized I have not made much money doing this work that I am amazing at.
Then I thought, maybe I have an online business.
Then I joined B-school and realized most of the above things .. (insert the FYPPS here I guess)
I think I would really love to coach the RHO(anywhere)
They need my help!
xo Laura
Oh, can we start a business coaching the RHs? Do we coach them to behave like intelligent humans, or just do a program like, “Ramona-fy Yourself: How To Unleash Your Crazy-Eyez Brand Of Cuckoo, Land A Crap-Product Licensing Deal With Target, And Get Your Contract Renewed Every Season”?
OMG u really r hilarious!! Yes I think they can behave:)
I want to teach class to the countess so she can teach class by the countess to others 🙂
Make a new pyramid lol
Too funny and very true! I haven’t been in the cycle myself but I’ve been starting to notice it and your list captures it so well.
Noticing it is the best prevention! But then again, you can be totally aware and still sucked in. The vortex is powerful.
How is it that you in my head?
I’ve reached That Point in my blogging where I was starting to think about monetizing. This week I just realized that I don’t have time for that $hit. I have a day job. It pays the bills (kinda). When the hobby becomes the job, it is enjoyable anymore?
So my blog, for now, will stay just a blog. No email lists, no freebie Couch-to-5k program “hook”, no product reviews. Just me, journaling and putting it out there, for fun and for me.
I’m in your head via a new app that hasn’t been released to the public. It’s called BrainChipp.
Yes, just blogging for fun is the only way you get to keep writing what you like to write without always second guessing it. I write whatever I want to write about, but I’d build a lot bigger list if I were always writing copywriting and business tips. Not that many people want to read about my naked camp and my button collection. But the ones that do are the best people on earth, IMHO.
Laura! Yours is pretty much the only “business” blog I read these days because you write about naked camp* and your button collection and not copywriting.
I totally got sucked down the internet marketing k hole and it mostly just made me feel like shit about everything so I decided to take a break (even from Marie) and now I just do my thing and send out the occasional email and business is totally fine. I do work with a lot of artists and entrepreneurs because they are the clients who seem to like working with me and I like them.
You’re the best Laura, srsly.
Ox
Cecilia
*You know at 14, I accidentally ended up camping with a bunch of naked Germans in the former Yogoslavia for 3 weeks. I blame Anke.
Oh yes, I’ve both observed the FYPPS phenomenon and fallen prey to it! Actually, I’ve been thinking about this very thing alot lately, and questioning my motives. Just the other day I wrote in my journal, “Do I *really* want to make 6+ figures a year by selling my services online [and creating a product or program to scale my services, as ‘scaling’ always seems to be the real goal], or have I just spent way too much time on the internets in the last 5+ years, where world domination and mega bank accounts seem to be the coin(s?) of the realm, and the wanting of the 6 figure income is a result of buying in to that notion?” Not that there’s anything wrong with making wads and wads of cash.
As for teaching people to do what I do, well, I’ve always loved to teach, and people tell me I’m good at it, but do I really want to make that part of my offerings — teaching people to write web copy? Or do I just want to write web copy for amazing clients, with plenty of time left over to write all the other stuff I like to write, to my heart’s content?
By the way, #15 is HI-LAR-I-OUS! I get several emails like this a week, and I always wonder if I’m the only misanthrope who sees them as a thinly veiled excuses to sell. The faux earnestness is what gets to me. I mean, it’s ok to sell, it’s expected, and it’s a great thing, but hey there online marketer, just straight up say why you’re really emailing me, fer cryin’ out loud! 😉
Scaling, income streams, passive revenue…phrases that have always been so tantalizing to me.
My take:
If you’re good at writing web copy, and have had success with it, and like teaching it, then there’s nothing wrong with teaching it. I love teaching it. Especially if teaching it allows me to do more of the writing I want to do (like my blog).
#15 is such a pet peeve of mine, and yet I always click! Even though I know I’ll be let down. I have no will power.
I’m with ya on the no willpower thing! If only I could get back all the time I spent clickety-clacking on all those good-for-nothin’ links!
This is extremely funny AND extremely uncomfortable because it is extremely true. Thanks, I needed to hear this truth today!
Uncomfortable! Highest compliment yet. Thank you.
So very funny! I always laugh when I see people promoting themselves as coaches for business owners wanting to make 6 figures + but have never done so for themselves. That seems to be the newest tactic.
NEWEST tactic? I think it’s the oldest. Other than good ol’ prostitution. Happy to say I’ve never paid someone to coach me who couldn’t and hasn’t done the thing they’re coaching me to do. Except that skydiving coach, that was a disaster.
Haha I guess the big shift in the new to online entrepreneurship that I’m noticing lately. It’s resurfaced with a vengeance… Kinda like the hair scrunchies and top of the head messy buns that my 15 year old assures me is back in style. (My high school pics will look current soon I’m thinking. Big poof hair is just around the corner)
Well Ms. Belgray – once again you kick the proverbial ass! The tentacles of internet marketing tightly grip me and I wonder if I will be free. You bring hope. And laughter.
Frankly it’s trying to find a way to support myself without returning to work that in the end claims my parched bones. Bones scorched dry of creative spark or joy. So the lure of the internet svengalis keep a tight hold. Damn them and their sparkling eyes!
Encouraged by your words, and those from the comments, I step forward into a better world. I too strive for the Facebook/Real Housewives/Ice Cream Dream (although currently it is YouTube/Game of Thrones/These amazing sugar cones you fill with marshmellos, chocolate and other goodies, wrap in foil and place in the campfire for a kind of evil decedent smore of doom).
You give me hope. And joy. And a little nausea for giving up my addiction. Perhaps you can place yourself as the anti-guru, offering online trainings that consist of you sitting on the couch or your pet sleeping. I would buy that program. Maybe even join the Facebook group. And the monthly subscription with free newsletter. And the in person conference….
Just saying. I’d do that. For you, my new guru….sorry…um friend…um person who’s emails I read. Occasionally.
Just saying.
Thanks, Carlyle! (What is that proverb about the ass?)
Internet Marketing is the most advanced, treacherous form of octopus. It’s bigger, it’s at least a duodecopus.
Thank you for the inspiration. I’m now designing my sales funnel for the program where you pay me to sit on my couch. Determined to get paid while I sleep, FOR sleeping.
I went through the following (similar) cycle:
1. I should start a micro-brewery and create a great product and have fun making money.
2. I should just sell people the kits to create their own micro-brewery!
3. Why limit it to beer — I could just sell people the idea of making money from their home!
4. There is a new episode of Girls on!
this
(i tried to just use a one word answer, but the internet gods frowned upon that so i’m typing in more content down here now.)
Totally. This. I only WISH there were a new episode of Girls on. I have to give up my dreams for a rerun.
Ohmygoodness #7 had me in stitches.
Absolutely. I see this all the time and almost fell prey to it by writing fewer books so I could coach other writers. Not going to lie: I’m a kickass teacher and coach. But my passion is in books, and I’m actually doing pretty well. But it was a life-altering shift to realize I didn’t want to be a fulltime (or hell, part time) writer’s coach.
Absolutely loved this!
Yay for you for making it work with the books! See, if I wanted a book coach I’d hire you, because you actually achieved the thing you’re coaching. So you pass.
Haha thanks, Laura!
I’m definitely new to the entrepreneur world, and trying my hardest not to fall prey to this. I do see it everywhere though—especially with the blog posts. Part of me would love all my peers in the industry to be reading my blog, but then… they’re not the ones who are going to hire me to design for them, because they’re designers! I’m trying to keep in mind who my audience is, and write to them. I do see what you’re talking about a LOT though—I’ve recently seen some incredibly talented designers move away from design into coaching entrepreneurs in happiness and authenticity etc. etc. They’re good at it, so hats off to them, I mean their emails are fantastic, but I can’t help but wonder how much money they’re making. And obviously that’s not their end goal, but man, we all gotta live. And eat. And be sheltered. And afford our internet. And our iPhones so we can instagram.
On another note, if you’re working (on your online business) at a beach for the day in a hammock… how do you get WiFi? Do they know something we don’t?
Oh, the journey of the newbie! So many links. So much to discover. It’s like being just born. I admire your (at least attempted) self control.
I have no problem with people turning into coaches if they’re coaching at something they were successful in themselves, rather than something they gave up on to coach instead, because that seemed easier.
Right?
I think success is a hammock on your own beachfront property, which of course has the fastest broadband. And a fig tree.
OMG @laurabelgray I have a MAD fan crush on you!
PS obligatory “GREAT POST!!!”
PPS I’ve linked to MY BLOG below. WE ARE SO SIMILAR (+/- value!!/takeaways!!/my tribe!! etc)
PPPS CAN I INTERVIEW YOU FOR MY PODCAST?? (again)
Crushing back
PS obligatory “THANK YOU FOR READING AND COMPLIMENTING!”
PPS #DeliveringMassiveValueToRightPeepsBlahBlahBlah
PPPS ALL CAPS ABSOLUTELY
PPPPS I’m the one who bought your book plus 20 different battery-powered “adult toys.”
GMAO… where the G is “guffawing”… I could’ve also said FOMCL… falling off my chair laughing. The list goes on and on!
#17 is the one that did it.
SSG (small, secondary giggle)
LYLYAOYC (Loving you laughing your ass off your chair)
And good for you for actually pursuing your art!
I HAVE gotten swirled up in the tornado of FREE OFFERS, but it pooped me out in my home territory, thank goodness. I unsubscribed. LOTS. And am focusing on the thing I love to do best. It feels nice on this less crowded road.
I love that you got pooped out by a tornado. Were there cows in there with the free PDFs?
OMG This is a riot! And, sadly, so true!! Great job capturing the essence out there.
Thanks, Michele!
You. Are. Hilarious. (and so right)
Thank. You.
Fucking amazing.
I totally did this 4 year cycle and finally left both Internet marketing and corporate to start my own business (an insurance agency) and write screenplays and act. Both are going well.
Yes, that’s what I wanted to do from the get go. But I got lost in the maze of Internet marketing. It’s truly scary to me. My husband and I marvel at the whole thig whenever I get the urge to jump back in (I’m a recovering addict for this stuff).
I too think the pl who do it well are like…basically amazing. All of the hats I own are off to them. Honestly. It just ain’t me.
Laura we should make a gag course on this very topic. And launch it on April 1st. Shhhhhh don’t tell anyone.
And yes, except let’s make it a real course, and earn 7 figures.
We all get lost in that maze, because there’s cheese in it! I recover every year, then go through a new phase all over again where I keep opting in for webinars and have 40 “watch later” windows open at a time.
Hahaha! Glad to know I’m not alone (although 40 is an exaggeration for me). So I guess my “near-addiction” isn’t a bad thing necessarily?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Finally a list I can get behind.
Most people have a list of 15 Lists They Can Get Behind. What’s wrong with you??
Here is an info graphic to explain:
http://marabelzer.com/test/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/photo.jpg
You are officially my hero.
I will accept this title.
oh my god. So good!
Mara – I need a ‘like’ button for this graphic. Yes.
Haha! Glad to know there are others whose future business plan is to give less than zero fucks <3
I need this graphic framed in my office as a daily reminder of the path I’m on.
I’m so glad I read this #CheckYourselfBeforeYouWreckYourself. I actually hated being a vocal coach because instead of getting calls to do studio work or audition for a gig, I was getting calls to see if any of my students might want to – I was like,”hey! I’m still a singer! WTF?” So I quit teaching. And, I’d much rather run a business doing social media content than teach someone else. But I think I’d rather teach people how to get publicity rather than being a PR consultant.