Today I was sitting at my local coffee place, Joe, listening in on the next table. Because I do that. This woman said to her friend, “You’re so lucky. You have such perfect hair.” Perfect Hair Lady smiled in a guilty way, like she was feeling sorry for those with less fortunate hair. She touched her bouncy curls and said, “I know. I’m blessed.”
Now why couldn’t she have said, “It’s true. I am lucky”? Why did she switch from “lucky” to “blessed”? This drives me nuts. I hear it all the freakin’ blessed time. Most often from celebrities.
Take Chace Crawford, on his looks: “I’m blessed. I have a beautiful mother and a beautiful father…”
Or Jessica Simpson, on creating her own brand of luggage and bedding in addition to comfy jeans, and, of course, excellent pop music: “I’m blessed to have so many ways to express myself.”
Why. Why? I find “blessed” to be so pompous when “lucky” will do just as well. When you’re a kid, you say, “You get to go to Six Flags for your birthday? Lucky!!”
Right? You don’t say, “Six Flags! You’re so blessed!”
So what makes grown people say it so much? Isn’t “lucky” totally sufficient to express that you had no hand in creating your awesomeness? “I’m lucky to have this comfortable duplex” is perfectly good code for, “I’m grateful that I live in a mad crib with sub-zero kitchen appliances, which I own not because I’m better and smarter than you, but because of pure chance.”
I think people see “blessed” as a more self-effacing way of putting it. It’s something that a humble nun might say: “I’m blessed to have this clean wimple, Sister.” But really, it adds a self-centered twist. It implies, “I have what I have because God was smiling on me.”
Would you ever say “We were blessed to find a parking spot”? Yeah, me neither. God, or the Universe, or whatever force is out there is probably not thinking about where you put your car. So why would you think He/She/It gave any thought to your talent? Or how great your friends are?
I’m lucky to have super friends. Not blessed. Blessed should be saved for things you’d pray for, like surviving a hideous and fatal disease. “I’m so blessed to be alive after that bout with Ebola.”
Maybe people use it because “lucky” feels too flip. Like you don’t appreciate your perfect hair, or your starring roles in box-office hits like “Marley and Me.” (You know Jennifer Aniston thinks she’s “blessed,” for sure.)
Or maybe it’s because “lucky” is always paired with negatives. No one ever says “you blessed bastard” or “blessed dog” or “blessed shit” or “blessed sonofamotherf-cker”.
You tell me. Fill in the blanks and let me know which word you picked, lucky or blessed.
- Boy am I _____ not to have cavities after eating gobstoppers all year.
- I’m ______ to have a career that I love.
- Do you know how ______ you are that you got to hang out with Vanilla Ice?
- I’m so _______ to be sleeping with a hottie.
- We got really _______ at the craps table.
How’d you do? Were you compelled to fill in more than one blank with “blessed”? If that’s what you put for #5, we probably can’t hang.
But either way, thank you for visiting this blog. To have readers like you, I am one blessed bitch.
Hello everyone… I had to look this up. I thought it was only me that cringes when a friend tells me how” blessed I am.”I don’t understand why I felt bad for them telling me. And then finally when the conversation followed with, “you don’t know how blessed you are, you have no idea” something came over me and I snapped. I said, I hate when people tell me I’m blessed as if… I know that, but that doesn’t exclude me from having issues like everyone else in their lives. Something annoys me about the way it was said. I’m blessed should I feel blessed? I am happy that none of my children are sick. I am happy for many things that I have. I try to give back as much as I can. And I do Thank God. I rather say I’m happy 🙂 hope everyone has a blessed and happy day. Thanks for letting me vent.
Sorry to circumvent your comment ban (not really) but I liked this too much not to say something. I was talking to someone the other day about people who answer “How are you?” with “I’m blessed,” usually drawing it out to five syllables. I suppose that should be excepted as a regionalism, but I still find it screwy. It’s the use you mentioned, the celebs, and, worse, the wannabe celebs. Ever read “producivity experts” or whatever who say “I’m blessed to take 15 people on my private jet to my private island every six months where I’m blessed to let them stay in my personal mansion and further blessed that I can buy them all expensive gifts and…” and “blessed” obviously means “god, can you believe how lucky these people are to know ME?” This “bless” is always a brag and should be stopped.
Oh, well this doesn’t really count. It’s a legit loophole in the comment ban, because it doesn’t get in the way of my “process.” Old posts are in the can, so comment away. Anyhow, yes. So glad I’m not the only one who thinks this is a barfy, passive-aggressive way of bragging. “We’re blessed to have full time nannies. They’re wonderful.” It does need to be stopped, with violence if necessary.
Hi Nice Post. YOu can wright more info on same topic.
Sorry to circumvent your comment ban (not really) but I liked this too much not to say something. I was talking to someone the other day about people who answer “How are you?” with “I'm blessed,” usually drawing it out to five syllables. I suppose that should be excepted as a regionalism, but I still find it screwy. It's the use you mentioned, the celebs, and, worse, the wannabe celebs. Ever read “producivity experts” or whatever who say “I'm blessed to take 15 people on my private jet to my private island every six months where I'm blessed to let them stay in my personal mansion and further blessed that I can buy them all expensive gifts and…” and “blessed” obviously means “god, can you believe how lucky these people are to know ME?” This “bless” is always a brag and should be stopped.
Oh, well this doesn't really count. It's a legit loophole in the comment ban, because it doesn't get in the way of my “process.” Old posts are in the can, so comment away. Anyhow, yes. So glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is a barfy, passive-aggressive way of bragging. “We're blessed to have full time nannies. They're wonderful.” It does need to be stopped, with violence if necessary.
Laura- I thought I was “blessed” to finally be able to express myself in proper English . I often adopt terms that locals use and incorporate them into my vocabulary. Now I realize that I might have picked up some pompous and self-centered language. Ugh, what’s a gal to do now? 🙂
By the way, what’s your feelings toward ‘I’m honored’? Do you use it at all?
Hi Annie,
I would say that you should be proud to express yourself in proper English. Who blessed you with that skill? You did. I’m sure it took hard work, English doesn’t seem like an easy second language.
But feel free to use whichever adjective you like. It’s just a pet peeve of mine, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
I have no problem with “I’m honored.” I use that.
I do think it’s bs, though, when someone gets a huge award or something and says “I’m humbled.” No you’re not, you’re humbled when you trip in front of a bunch of people. That’s when you’re humbled.
Thanks for commenting – I’m honored that you’re reading!
xoLaura
So, did you totally cringe when I introduced myself at RHH Live as someone who was “incredibly blessed to step straight out of school and into the job I was born to do,” or did you consider that to be “blessed worthy?”
Looking back, I would have phrased the entire thing differently, but I’ve never been very good at thinking on my feet.
-Allison
Haha. I don’t remember. I’m sure I didn’t cringe, because I’m so used to hearing it. Also, it bugs me most when celebrities say it.
I think it’s become natural for people to say it because everyone else does. But somewhere along the way, someone decided it was more meaningful than saying “lucky”. Or just “happy” or “thankful.” Really, that’s the person I’d like to talk to.
You won’t believe this, but right after reading this entry, I got in my car, and before I could put a CD in, I hear this: “I Have Been Blessed” – some country song my radio was randomly tuned to!!
Apparently, even mass murderers are blessed. Here is an excerpt from an article I just saw online about the Fort Hood killer:
DETAILS EMERGE ABOUT FORT HOOD SUSPECT BACKGROUND
By BRETT J. BLACKLEDGE, Associated Press Writer Brett J. Blackledge, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON – He was by turns caring and contentious, a man quick to say "I am blessed" in casual greeting yet one who seemed to stew in discontent that he could not always keep to himself.
That is truly awesome. Just proves my point. If someone says "I am blessed," RUN. Then, call the police.
Ha. Now you'll hear it everywhere.
Renee beat me to it — "Have a blessed day" is one of my pet peeves (a blog-worthy topic of it's own…?) – Especially when it's tacked on to the end of an antagonistic conversation or interaction – it's bad enough as an auto-sign-off – but when you've just been arguing with someone and they send you off with a fake smile and that "have a blessed day" crap – Pu-leeze! My day might have been blessed without YOU being part of it…
Yes, in that case, "Have a blessed day" is total code for "F*ck you very much."
I'd rather be one lucky Mofo any day. C'mon Lucky Seven! And when I play my favorite penny video slot machine Kitty Glitter, lucky is my favorite word.
Yeah, Blessed Seven does not have the same ring to it.
@Marie: Let’s call it what it is: you know you’re just plain lucky to have me as a friend – come on, you won me in a high stakes game of Go Fish!
@GinaBell: Thank moo. I mean you.
@Renee: Great to see you here! I never want to have a blessed day, too much praying involved.
Totally hits a nerve, Laura!
How about all the people that end conversations their auto-email salutation or voicemail with “Have a blessed day!” Keep your proselytizing to yourself, thankyouverymuch!
Laura, I’m with ya! The whole blessed thing is annoying. And there’s that tone of voice that seems to go with it too – ya know what I mean? (ugh! I can hear it in my head now!)
(Sigh!) I wouldn’t say I felt blessed to stumble upon #cowfilms today (and it’s a real gem!) but I can say I felt pretty darned lucky to cuz it is freaken funny!!
“Frosted Lucky Charms… ” LOL
~ Gina xo
Thanks for the heads up on this one mamma. Good sh*t as always. I’m really blessed to have you as my friend HAHAHAHAHA 😉 xoxoo M
hey Laura…
you are one BLESSED &(&%&! (shut your mouth).
I think adults say blessed because as they get older and closer to the ALMIGHTY, they realize and accept that there is not such thing as luck. So as a nod to that and to remain HUMBLE- they say… “I’m blessed to have such and so in my life.”
thanks for the laugh- how do I subscribe?
@Daniela – I get that, coming from actually religious people. But you just know there are so many pretentious atheists saying it, too.
I’m blessed that you like the blog, though!
@NancyK – THANK you. Amen, sista. I think when someone sneezes, I’m going to start saying “Lucky you!”
@BobbyM: Thanks for the great compliment!
Thank you for voicing what I’ve been thinking! I can’t stand when people are constantly saying “life is good” or “I’m so blessed”! Stop showing off. I feel lucky too sometimes, but I don’t have to keep saying it. I don’t even like “God bless you” after a sneeze. How about just “Excuse me” from the person spreading their germs?
Thanks for a great read!
You are one lucky clever girl!
I think saying “I’m blessed”, is part of feeling not worthy and thinking that, if you don’t credit God for whatever you have, he/she/it might take it away – guilt; #1 religion.
I love your blog! I think you have “IT” – an other interesting topic. LOL
XOXO,
D.