I look like shit I look like shit I look like shit.
That’s the thought that ruined my whole evening recently. And my steak.
That day, I’d been part of a photo shoot for a friend who’s a stylist and needed to put outfits on real people (read: so. not. models.) for her blog.
She had pros there to do my hair and makeup. I thought the result was maybe a little much.
Too much eye makeup? And was the “rock ‘n’ roll” hair really me? But when I came home after the shoot, Steven really liked the look. He’d be the first to say, kindly of course, “you look like a painted whore.” So I knew he was being honest, and kept the hair and makeup in place to go out with friends.
One of those friends always comments when she likes my outfit or thinks I look great. I was predicting she’d say, “You should always wear your hair that way.”
What did she actually say when we met up at the restaurant bar?
Nothing. She said nothing.
All through dinner, I could barely join in the conversation. My friends’ voices faded into the distance while I stared down at my ribeye, thinking, “This hair and makeup was for the camera, not real life. I look like a crackhead mental patient clown and everyone’s obsessed with it.”
Well, part of that might have been true. Maybe I looked insane, or maybe I looked great. The fact that no one said anything doesn’t mean either. But one thing I can tell you for sure: No one else was thinking about it.
Because here’s good and bad news:
No one is thinking about you as much as you are.
Not when you look bad, not when you look good, not after you trip, not when you submit a resume and it’s on someone’s desk, not when you laugh a little too loud and the laugh keeps echoing in your ears and you think everyone else is still hearing it, too. Also, not when it’s your birthday. That “birthday feeling” you have all day long? No one else has it on your special day, just you.
We’re not dwelling on you, because we’re too busy dwelling on ourselves.
And that brings me to my very specific business advice.
If you write a blog, and then stop blogging for a long time, YOU DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF. Don’t bother. Don’t point it out. Don’t start back up with that post that begins, “You may have noticed I haven’t been blogging for a while. Here’s why.”
I’ve done this. And I cringe that I’ve done it, because every time I see one of those come into my inbox, I think, “I don’t care!”
I don’t care where you were, what you were doing, why you had writers’ block, how you overcame it to write this grand comeback-and-mea-culpa announcement of a blog post.
I might not have even noticed that you’d been away. You know how much shit is in my inbox?
You may be burning with shame for not keeping up with an editorial calendar, but no one else is sitting around thinking, “What a pathetic loser. She was on a roll, and now she’s not. She’s broken her word to herself, which is just what I expected, even though I don’t really know her. Consistency is key to success, so clearly she will have zero success. Burn in hell, sucker. ”
If I’ve given any thought to the fact that you haven’t blogged in a while, it was probably more along the lines of “Huh, wonder where so-and-so went. I miss her posts.”
And we should all be so lucky, to be noticed in our absence or even missed.
So, if you’re writing a big comeback blog post, take out the comeback part. Just make it a regular blog post. You should be all, “What. I haven’t been slacking off. YOU’VE been slacking off. YOU’RE the loser. I’ve been here the whole time. Here’s a blog post.”
Because we’re not thinking about it. Your eye makeup, on the other hand, looks crazy.
When do you think people are thinking about you way more than they are?
Ever write one of those “I haven’t written a blog post in a while” blog posts?
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS.
ps – I’ve decided I really like my hair and makeup the way they did it that day. Tried to replicate the tousled waves at home, but just ended up with straight hair that reeked of my “Motion Lotion” thickening product.
ps – B-School enrollment closes Wednesday, March 4th. If you’re thinking about it, make sure you check out my bonus first. Just click the button below to find out more.